I know! I missed iTunes Tuesday again! So I will do it on Wednesday. And this week we have a theme...musical rides. I've played musical geography on wonderful blogs out there, but I can't think of any more, so I've twisted the theme (because you all know I'm twisted) to musical rides. Name that car!
1) If she walks, looks and drives like an ace, what is she driving? a T-Bird (and she'll have fun fun fun 'til her daddy takes it away) - Ken got it
2) If you've got a car that's as big as a whale, and you're about to set sail, what are you driving? Bonus question: where are you heading on down to? A Chrysler...and you're heading on down to the Love Shack, of course! - Lori got it
3) If she was laying there like a princess, moonlight dancing off her hair, in what "wagon" did you give her a ride? Chevy Van (and that's alright with me) - Good Job, Julie!
4) You're gonna drive your daddy to drinkin' if you don't stop driving what? Hot Rod Lincoln - Ken again
5) If all you want to do is ride around, what is your name and what better you slow down? Ride, Sally, Ride...and you better slow that Mustang down - Lori again!
6) If you are on the strip where the road is wide, which two cars are revvin' up their engines and sounding real mean? A fuel injected Stingray and a 413 - Ken
7) If you're standing on the corner in Winslow, Arizona, what is the girl slowing down to take a look at you driving? A flat bed Ford - uhm, Ken
8) If you and Suzie had so much fun holding hands and skimming stones, what kind of car did you have? Bonus question: what color was it? An old, gold Chevy - guess who? KEN!
9) If she's ported and relieved and she's stroked and bored, and will do a hundred and forty with the top end floored, what is she? Little Deuce Coupe - I know you're going to be shocked, but Ken got this one!
10) If you're standin' on the corner watchin' all the girls go by, drinkin' wine and whiskey, smokin' joints and stayin' high, what two cars are going through the gravel? No one got this: Answer a '59 Cadillac and a '57 Chevy
Ride on!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Reinvention
Okay, a question:
So the moving thing is back on the table for CO and I. It may not work out again, but it has got us to thinking about reinvention.
I am at a place with my job that is unpleasant. I know too much, and what I know, well, frankly it pisses me off. I have now seen the bloody guts of the thing and it ain't so pretty from this angle. And staying here...I can't unknow what I know. I can never go back to those days of blissful ignorance that I so long for.
We would also be leaving behind the family stuff we struggle with...some of which is my fault, but some of which is CO's fault (and some of which is neither of our faults) I know family doesn't go away, but distance does ease the daily tensions. When people are not faced with dealing with you all the time, and you them, you try to find pleasure in the limited time you do spend together, and a lot of the petty bullshit goes away.
Then of course there is the Island of Misfit People issue. As I said in that post, it is difficult to make friendships here, and the ones we have had are too far gone to save, in many cases (like this one). I realize that moving won't help you instantly make friends, but it would be a fresh start, where none of the ghosts of the past follow you, and the people you know don't have these preconceived notions of you. You get to reinvent yourself in a new image...the one you'd like to be instead of the one you are.
But is that ever really possible? Can you reinvent yourself, even by moving 200 miles away, or are you just are who you are? Is it inevitable that the old habits will return, because they are part of your true self, no matter where you live, or will good intentions and a desire to change things be enough? In the end, will it all be the same...just 2000 miles north east?
Can anyone really change?
So the moving thing is back on the table for CO and I. It may not work out again, but it has got us to thinking about reinvention.
I am at a place with my job that is unpleasant. I know too much, and what I know, well, frankly it pisses me off. I have now seen the bloody guts of the thing and it ain't so pretty from this angle. And staying here...I can't unknow what I know. I can never go back to those days of blissful ignorance that I so long for.
We would also be leaving behind the family stuff we struggle with...some of which is my fault, but some of which is CO's fault (and some of which is neither of our faults) I know family doesn't go away, but distance does ease the daily tensions. When people are not faced with dealing with you all the time, and you them, you try to find pleasure in the limited time you do spend together, and a lot of the petty bullshit goes away.
Then of course there is the Island of Misfit People issue. As I said in that post, it is difficult to make friendships here, and the ones we have had are too far gone to save, in many cases (like this one). I realize that moving won't help you instantly make friends, but it would be a fresh start, where none of the ghosts of the past follow you, and the people you know don't have these preconceived notions of you. You get to reinvent yourself in a new image...the one you'd like to be instead of the one you are.
But is that ever really possible? Can you reinvent yourself, even by moving 200 miles away, or are you just are who you are? Is it inevitable that the old habits will return, because they are part of your true self, no matter where you live, or will good intentions and a desire to change things be enough? In the end, will it all be the same...just 2000 miles north east?
Can anyone really change?
iTunes Tuesday
I have not done this in awhile! I need to get back on it! Identify the next line of the song, the song title or the artist, or all three if you are feeling it! Here is the random play...Go!
1) We're callin' everyone to ride along to another shore. We can laugh our lives away... and be free once more - Ride Captain Ride, Blues Image (Ken & Nightfly)
2) Through eighty-six years of perpetual motion, if he likes you he'll smile, and he'll say, "Jimmy, some of it's magic, some of it's tragic..." but I had a good life all the way - He Went to Paris, Jimmy Buffett (No one got this!)
3) He grinned as he raised his little head. popped a shoeshine rag and then he said... Get Rhythm (that is the next line and the song title), Johnny Cash (Nightfly)
4) I'll read to you here save your eyes. You'll need them your boat is at sea. Your anchor is up you've been swept away and the greatest of teachers won't hesitate to leave you there by yourself... chained to fate - I Alone, Live (No one got this either!)
5) Well I'm on my way. I don't know where I'm going. I'm on my way. I'm taking my time but I don't know where. Goodbye to Rosie the queen of Corona... see me & Juilo down by the school yard (also the next line and the title), Paul Simon (Ken)
Have fun!
1) We're callin' everyone to ride along to another shore. We can laugh our lives away... and be free once more - Ride Captain Ride, Blues Image (Ken & Nightfly)
2) Through eighty-six years of perpetual motion, if he likes you he'll smile, and he'll say, "Jimmy, some of it's magic, some of it's tragic..." but I had a good life all the way - He Went to Paris, Jimmy Buffett (No one got this!)
3) He grinned as he raised his little head. popped a shoeshine rag and then he said... Get Rhythm (that is the next line and the song title), Johnny Cash (Nightfly)
4) I'll read to you here save your eyes. You'll need them your boat is at sea. Your anchor is up you've been swept away and the greatest of teachers won't hesitate to leave you there by yourself... chained to fate - I Alone, Live (No one got this either!)
5) Well I'm on my way. I don't know where I'm going. I'm on my way. I'm taking my time but I don't know where. Goodbye to Rosie the queen of Corona... see me & Juilo down by the school yard (also the next line and the title), Paul Simon (Ken)
Have fun!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Crazy Betty
In this post, I mentioned our former friend, Crazy Betty, and I promised to tell you about her so that you all could decide for yourselves if it is she, or CO and I, who are crazy.
So here goes...
The first time we met Betty, she had been dating CO's best friend, John, for several months. CO and I were both a little leery, because we really liked John's ex-girlfriend, so you know how that goes. But we put on our happy faces, and went to dinner with John and Betty. We're all introduced, and Betty gives the perfunctory "hi" which is the last word she says for the next...uhm, well forever, or at least the next hour, which felt like the same thing.
I am feeling a little bad for Betty. See John and I knew each other before CO and I knew each other. In fact, John had a hand in introducing me to CO, so needless to say, I am very comfortable with John, and can talk to him as easily as CO can. I'm sure Betty felt a bit left out. So being the other woman in this foursome, I tried to get Betty engaged in the conversation. I am asking her questions like this:
Me: "So, Betty, do you have kids?" (I knew she did)
Betty: "Yes."
Me: "How many?"
Betty: "Two."
Me: "Really? Boys or girls?"
Betty: Blank stare
Me: "Are your kids boys or girls?"
Betty: "Yes."
Uhhhhmmmmm, okay. What does that mean? I assumed on my own that they were one or the other. I really didn't need confirmation on that. I was looking for some specificity here, but whatever. Obviously, the woman doesn't want to talk about her kids. Let's change the subject.
Me: "So, Betty, what do you do?"
Betty" "Work."
Me: "Yes, uhm, where do you work?"
Betty: "***" (insert name of her employer)
Me: "What do you do there?"
Betty: Blank stare. She was very good at the blank stare.
Okay, so she doesn't want to talk about kids or work. Where do I go from here? There was a hockey game on the television, so I stupidly went for that.
Me: "Do you like sports?"
Betty: "Ugh! No!"
Mmmmkay. I wanted to ask was she capable of more than one word sentences, because so far, she hadn't demonstrated that ability. Instead, I opted for a ladies room visit. I needed to escape and think about this for a few minutes.
Me: "I'm going to the ladies room. Back in a few."
Betty: "Me too."
No one was more shocked that I. I mean TWO words! Wow! Not to mention the fact that she obviously could not be coerced into conversation, why would she want to accompany me to the rest room? I'm trying to escape here, dammit!
So off we go to the ladies room, no speaking the entire time. I smiled; she stared. When I was finished, which was quickly mind you, as this was a purely invented visit, and I did not really have to go, I washed my hands and waited for her.
And I waited. And I waited.
Hmmmm. I looked for her shoes under the stalls, but I couldn't remember what they looked like, so after about 10 minutes, I went back to the table.
There she was.
Okay, I know the male readers will not understand this, but I guarantee the women are gasping in horror right now. Look, I don't know why women go to the bathroom together. Honestly, it is sometimes to talk about you men...but not always. We just do it. Habit? Fear? I don't know.
But even though I don't know why we do it, I do know how we do it, and the rules are very, very clear on this...if you go together, you return together. Period. End of sentence. It doesn't matter if you have known each other for ten minutes or ten years. You wait.
I am quoting from the rule book when I say: "It is only acceptable to return from the ladies room alone if you have clearly stated this intention to the other party, and have received confirmation from them that they have heard and understand this plan of action."
Ladies? Am I wrong?
Needless to say, the rest of the night did not go any better.
Later that night when we were on our way home, I turned to CO in complete dismay and said, "She left me in the bathroom." He did not get it. But every time I have told this story since, any female in the room has said, "No way!"
Over time, we moved on from that scene, and eventually, we invited John and Betty over to our house for a Halloween party. That didn't go well either. Betty literally said only "Hi" and "Bye." The rest of the night she sat in a corner, spoke to no one...not even John. Turns out, this was pretty standard, normal behavior for her. In fact I saw her at a party at a mutual friend's house this year, and she did the very same thing.
Unfortunately, John married her, and eventually, I think like a year and a third kid later, she did start talking to us. I can't remember why, but she did. And I have to say, I was almost sorry she did, because once she started talking, crazy ass things came out of her mouth. Things like:
"I always worry that John is going to have me killed to collect on my life insurance policy, so when he goes to work (at 2:00am), I make Bobby (her oldest son), come sleep on my side of the bed, so the hit man will get him instead of me."
I swear to you, she actually said this. I cannot make this shit up.
This is wrong on so many levels, I can't even begin to analyze it. I mean, first, if you are really afraid your husband is going to have you killed, why would you stay married to him? And that is just a minor point compared to the fact that she seems to be fine with her son taking the hit for her! Her twelve year old son! Mother of the year, that one!
Another favorite: "I tried to stop drinking one day, but I just got so stressed that on the way to the movies, I stopped and got a bottle of rum for my coke. But that doesn't make me an alcoholic. Everyone does that. What would you do if you couldn't drink every day?"
Okay, uhm, that's pretty much the definition of an alcoholic, so yes it does! And everyone does not do that. Only alcoholics do that. By the way, in case you are wondering, I don't drink every day. When I told her that, she told me I was lying. Okay, then.
Let's see, a few other random facts about Crazy Betty...
Uhm, I'm sorry, what was that last one? Did you say...
Yes, I did! She asked if were were interested in swinging...the big wife swap, trading places, whatever you want to call it. She was into it, and asked if we would consider getting into it too.
We said "I don't think that's such a good idea."
Then she got pissed, threw one of her infamous tantrums and tried to tell everyone that CO and I are the ones who brought it up.
Oh, and believe it or not, there is even more I could tell you about Betty, but I think that about covers the highlights.
So I ask you again...Who's crazy?
So here goes...
The first time we met Betty, she had been dating CO's best friend, John, for several months. CO and I were both a little leery, because we really liked John's ex-girlfriend, so you know how that goes. But we put on our happy faces, and went to dinner with John and Betty. We're all introduced, and Betty gives the perfunctory "hi" which is the last word she says for the next...uhm, well forever, or at least the next hour, which felt like the same thing.
I am feeling a little bad for Betty. See John and I knew each other before CO and I knew each other. In fact, John had a hand in introducing me to CO, so needless to say, I am very comfortable with John, and can talk to him as easily as CO can. I'm sure Betty felt a bit left out. So being the other woman in this foursome, I tried to get Betty engaged in the conversation. I am asking her questions like this:
Me: "So, Betty, do you have kids?" (I knew she did)
Betty: "Yes."
Me: "How many?"
Betty: "Two."
Me: "Really? Boys or girls?"
Betty: Blank stare
Me: "Are your kids boys or girls?"
Betty: "Yes."
Uhhhhmmmmm, okay. What does that mean? I assumed on my own that they were one or the other. I really didn't need confirmation on that. I was looking for some specificity here, but whatever. Obviously, the woman doesn't want to talk about her kids. Let's change the subject.
Me: "So, Betty, what do you do?"
Betty" "Work."
Me: "Yes, uhm, where do you work?"
Betty: "***" (insert name of her employer)
Me: "What do you do there?"
Betty: Blank stare. She was very good at the blank stare.
Okay, so she doesn't want to talk about kids or work. Where do I go from here? There was a hockey game on the television, so I stupidly went for that.
Me: "Do you like sports?"
Betty: "Ugh! No!"
Mmmmkay. I wanted to ask was she capable of more than one word sentences, because so far, she hadn't demonstrated that ability. Instead, I opted for a ladies room visit. I needed to escape and think about this for a few minutes.
Me: "I'm going to the ladies room. Back in a few."
Betty: "Me too."
No one was more shocked that I. I mean TWO words! Wow! Not to mention the fact that she obviously could not be coerced into conversation, why would she want to accompany me to the rest room? I'm trying to escape here, dammit!
So off we go to the ladies room, no speaking the entire time. I smiled; she stared. When I was finished, which was quickly mind you, as this was a purely invented visit, and I did not really have to go, I washed my hands and waited for her.
And I waited. And I waited.
Hmmmm. I looked for her shoes under the stalls, but I couldn't remember what they looked like, so after about 10 minutes, I went back to the table.
There she was.
Okay, I know the male readers will not understand this, but I guarantee the women are gasping in horror right now. Look, I don't know why women go to the bathroom together. Honestly, it is sometimes to talk about you men...but not always. We just do it. Habit? Fear? I don't know.
But even though I don't know why we do it, I do know how we do it, and the rules are very, very clear on this...if you go together, you return together. Period. End of sentence. It doesn't matter if you have known each other for ten minutes or ten years. You wait.
I am quoting from the rule book when I say: "It is only acceptable to return from the ladies room alone if you have clearly stated this intention to the other party, and have received confirmation from them that they have heard and understand this plan of action."
Ladies? Am I wrong?
Needless to say, the rest of the night did not go any better.
Later that night when we were on our way home, I turned to CO in complete dismay and said, "She left me in the bathroom." He did not get it. But every time I have told this story since, any female in the room has said, "No way!"
Over time, we moved on from that scene, and eventually, we invited John and Betty over to our house for a Halloween party. That didn't go well either. Betty literally said only "Hi" and "Bye." The rest of the night she sat in a corner, spoke to no one...not even John. Turns out, this was pretty standard, normal behavior for her. In fact I saw her at a party at a mutual friend's house this year, and she did the very same thing.
Unfortunately, John married her, and eventually, I think like a year and a third kid later, she did start talking to us. I can't remember why, but she did. And I have to say, I was almost sorry she did, because once she started talking, crazy ass things came out of her mouth. Things like:
"I always worry that John is going to have me killed to collect on my life insurance policy, so when he goes to work (at 2:00am), I make Bobby (her oldest son), come sleep on my side of the bed, so the hit man will get him instead of me."
I swear to you, she actually said this. I cannot make this shit up.
This is wrong on so many levels, I can't even begin to analyze it. I mean, first, if you are really afraid your husband is going to have you killed, why would you stay married to him? And that is just a minor point compared to the fact that she seems to be fine with her son taking the hit for her! Her twelve year old son! Mother of the year, that one!
Another favorite: "I tried to stop drinking one day, but I just got so stressed that on the way to the movies, I stopped and got a bottle of rum for my coke. But that doesn't make me an alcoholic. Everyone does that. What would you do if you couldn't drink every day?"
Okay, uhm, that's pretty much the definition of an alcoholic, so yes it does! And everyone does not do that. Only alcoholics do that. By the way, in case you are wondering, I don't drink every day. When I told her that, she told me I was lying. Okay, then.
Let's see, a few other random facts about Crazy Betty...
- She thought she was being haunted by the ghost of her dead mother.
- When we'd go out to eat, always where she wanted to go, she ordered three meals and took like one bite from each one, and threw the rest away.
- She drank and smoked through all four of her pregnancies.
- She has four kids with four different men. And when she had her fourth kid, she was married to her third kid's daddy. Uhm, yeah...take a minute on that one. John is kid number three's daddy, but not kid number four, and they are still married.
- She got mad, almost daily, and threw her wedding and engagement rings out the front door into the yard, and John would have to go outside with a flashlight to look for them. (As an aside, CO told me if I ever throw mine away, I'm not getting them back. Good to know).
- She loved to get naked in her hot tub...even when we were there, and one night on the way home from a bar, she asked CO and I if we would be interested in swinging.
Uhm, I'm sorry, what was that last one? Did you say...
Yes, I did! She asked if were were interested in swinging...the big wife swap, trading places, whatever you want to call it. She was into it, and asked if we would consider getting into it too.
We said "I don't think that's such a good idea."
Then she got pissed, threw one of her infamous tantrums and tried to tell everyone that CO and I are the ones who brought it up.
Oh, and believe it or not, there is even more I could tell you about Betty, but I think that about covers the highlights.
So I ask you again...Who's crazy?
Monday, November 12, 2007
I Am a Dumbass
While I realize virtually every blog I write could be thusly titled, I have wisely saved it for a day such as today.
This past weekend, we visited the mid-west. The readers of the old blog may recall that our previous visit to the mid-west back in June, yielded its own blog post, when CO inadvertantly threw the luggage claim tickets in the trash during our lay-over in Pheonix, and when we reached our destination, we found our luggage had not. The missing claim tickets proved to be, let's call it a slight issue, when dealing with airline staff, and I had, oh let's call it a small calf, over the whole scenario. I have enjoyed giving CO crap about this incident ever since.
Let me tell ya, those days are O-V-E-R. I never get to bring that incident up again. Why? Why? Well because the fault was really more on the airline than on CO, since if they had not lost the luggage in the first place, the chucked out claim tickets would not have been an issue.
That, AND...
We had scheduled our return flight to get us back home in plenty of time to have some relaxation time, and still get to bed early and get a good night's sleep. We did, however, have another layover in Phoenix on our way home. I could have sworn that the layover was only about an hour, but when we landed I looked at the time on the ticket, looked at my watch, and was surprised to find the layover was actually two hours and fifteen minutes. Hmmm. Ok. We'll just get something to eat.
So we went into the airport bar, had dinner, a few beers and watched some football. About 45 minutes before our flight was shceduled to take off, we moseyed on over to the gate, which was strangely empty. I sat there for a few minutes, reading the sign behind the counter: Flight XXX departure time 5:48pm, status departed.
I'm sorry, does that say departed?
Well, that can't be right! Looking at my watch I see that it is only 5:15 now. How can the plane not scheduled to leave for another 30 minutes or so, already be departed?
Hmmmm. I scratch my head and think. I know it is the same time in Arizona as it is in California, so I have no adjustments to make on my watch. I look again, just to be sure. Yep...5:15.
Then the sick feeling washes over me. Wasn't there something about Arizona and the whole daylight savings time...as in they don't do it? So let's see, if in the summer, when I am used to traveling, Arizona is on the same time as California, and it is now November, and Arizona does not fall back, that means it is...HOLY CRAP! It is 6:15! 6:15!!!
Shit! Shit! Shit! And just for the record...SHIT!
Me: "Uh oh."
CO: "What?"
Me: "I think Arizona does not practice daylight savings time."
CO: "So?"
Me: "Uhm, so that means they are an hour ahead."
CO: "So?"
Me: "So that means it's six-fifteen."
CO: "So?" Note> CO does not actually look at the tickets. He just goes to the airport when I tell him, and gets on the plane I get on.
Me: "So our flight left at five forty-eight. We missed our flight!"
I run up to the counter and explain what a dumbass I am to the airline rep, who very nicely tells me, "If it makes you feel any better, it happens all the time."
No, actually, that doesn't help so much. It brings me very little comfort to know there are others in this world as stupid as I. In fact, it scares me a little. I am concerned about the future...and the gene pool.
I sheepishly go back to CO, who has not said a single word.
For those of you who remember the blog post about the other airport incident, you will remember it involved me shouting "We're fucked!" in the middle of the airport, and according to CO, flinging my wallet into my purse where it wisely stuck, not wanting to be flung again.
Me: "Sorry. You can feel free to shout 'We're fucked!' and fling your wallet this time."
The long-suffering CO, who is obviously a much better person than I, graciously refrained from accepting that offer.
Needless to say, we did not get home with time to relax, and the whole good night's sleep thing...not so much.
But on the bright side, I will never, ever forget what time it is in Arizona, and I have learned that Phoenix must be the vortex of all evil. It is a bad, bad place for us to layover. Next time...Denver or Las Vegas, but not Phoenix. Stay away from Phoenix!
I hope, someday, to fly somewhere with CO without having fodder for a blog post. See, there have been othr trips, too, that would have made fine stories, but it was before blogging, so they never quite made it, but the stories were there.
We were so close this time. So damn close! If it weren't for me, and the whole dumass thing!
This past weekend, we visited the mid-west. The readers of the old blog may recall that our previous visit to the mid-west back in June, yielded its own blog post, when CO inadvertantly threw the luggage claim tickets in the trash during our lay-over in Pheonix, and when we reached our destination, we found our luggage had not. The missing claim tickets proved to be, let's call it a slight issue, when dealing with airline staff, and I had, oh let's call it a small calf, over the whole scenario. I have enjoyed giving CO crap about this incident ever since.
Let me tell ya, those days are O-V-E-R. I never get to bring that incident up again. Why? Why? Well because the fault was really more on the airline than on CO, since if they had not lost the luggage in the first place, the chucked out claim tickets would not have been an issue.
That, AND...
We had scheduled our return flight to get us back home in plenty of time to have some relaxation time, and still get to bed early and get a good night's sleep. We did, however, have another layover in Phoenix on our way home. I could have sworn that the layover was only about an hour, but when we landed I looked at the time on the ticket, looked at my watch, and was surprised to find the layover was actually two hours and fifteen minutes. Hmmm. Ok. We'll just get something to eat.
So we went into the airport bar, had dinner, a few beers and watched some football. About 45 minutes before our flight was shceduled to take off, we moseyed on over to the gate, which was strangely empty. I sat there for a few minutes, reading the sign behind the counter: Flight XXX departure time 5:48pm, status departed.
I'm sorry, does that say departed?
Well, that can't be right! Looking at my watch I see that it is only 5:15 now. How can the plane not scheduled to leave for another 30 minutes or so, already be departed?
Hmmmm. I scratch my head and think. I know it is the same time in Arizona as it is in California, so I have no adjustments to make on my watch. I look again, just to be sure. Yep...5:15.
Then the sick feeling washes over me. Wasn't there something about Arizona and the whole daylight savings time...as in they don't do it? So let's see, if in the summer, when I am used to traveling, Arizona is on the same time as California, and it is now November, and Arizona does not fall back, that means it is...HOLY CRAP! It is 6:15! 6:15!!!
Shit! Shit! Shit! And just for the record...SHIT!
Me: "Uh oh."
CO: "What?"
Me: "I think Arizona does not practice daylight savings time."
CO: "So?"
Me: "Uhm, so that means they are an hour ahead."
CO: "So?"
Me: "So that means it's six-fifteen."
CO: "So?" Note> CO does not actually look at the tickets. He just goes to the airport when I tell him, and gets on the plane I get on.
Me: "So our flight left at five forty-eight. We missed our flight!"
I run up to the counter and explain what a dumbass I am to the airline rep, who very nicely tells me, "If it makes you feel any better, it happens all the time."
No, actually, that doesn't help so much. It brings me very little comfort to know there are others in this world as stupid as I. In fact, it scares me a little. I am concerned about the future...and the gene pool.
I sheepishly go back to CO, who has not said a single word.
For those of you who remember the blog post about the other airport incident, you will remember it involved me shouting "We're fucked!" in the middle of the airport, and according to CO, flinging my wallet into my purse where it wisely stuck, not wanting to be flung again.
Me: "Sorry. You can feel free to shout 'We're fucked!' and fling your wallet this time."
The long-suffering CO, who is obviously a much better person than I, graciously refrained from accepting that offer.
Needless to say, we did not get home with time to relax, and the whole good night's sleep thing...not so much.
But on the bright side, I will never, ever forget what time it is in Arizona, and I have learned that Phoenix must be the vortex of all evil. It is a bad, bad place for us to layover. Next time...Denver or Las Vegas, but not Phoenix. Stay away from Phoenix!
I hope, someday, to fly somewhere with CO without having fodder for a blog post. See, there have been othr trips, too, that would have made fine stories, but it was before blogging, so they never quite made it, but the stories were there.
We were so close this time. So damn close! If it weren't for me, and the whole dumass thing!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Island of Misfit People
This is where I think CO and I live...the Island of Misfit people.
Before we get started here, let me warn you, this might be a rambling post full of self pity. Read on if you must, but don't say I didn't warn ya!
So CO and I...Island of Misfit People. It's like the Toy one, except it is just CO and I. All alone.
See, CO and I are, uhm, how should I say...friend challenged, in that we have none. Oh, I have some...and he has some, but WE don't have any. No couples to hang out with.
There are several reasons for this. First, I think, is the whole job differential CO and I have. CO feels as if he has very little in common with my work friends, and in fact, some have treated him rather shabbily over the years. One of my friend's spouses even told CO that he "looked down" on him. Yeah, that's going to create a warm and lasting friendship in a hurry! We have the same problem with his work colleagues...I just don't have a lot in common with them or their spouses.
Second, many of our friends are in a different place in their lives. Our children are older, and most of our friends have smaller kids. Obviously, they want to spend time with their kids, and they don't want to get a sitter all the time. We totally understand this, but as adults with older kids, we've done our time, and little ones, no matter how cute and wonderful, are disruptive and a lot of work. We've been there, done that, and don't really want to do it again...tt least not all the time.
There is also the distance problem. I am still in touch with my best friend from childhood, but she lives four states away, and my best friends from high school and college live four hours away. To top it off, they are all still on kid patrol. One of them is pregnant right now! Life happens, and people drift. I still love the three of them dearly, and I relish my time with them, but they know as well as I do, that it isn't the same. We all have our lives to live.
And of course they are my friends. Their spouses don't know CO well, and there is some built in awkwardness there.
We did have a couple we hung out with for years. We spent weekends and holidays with them...it was great! Except when it wasn't. This was CO's best friend and his wife. Uhm, let's call her Crazy Betty...because she wasn't so much ugly, but she was damn CRAZY! I will have to write a whole separate blog about Crazy Betty. Suffice it to say, we needed to get away from that poison, or get divorced. That's basically what it came down to. We opted for the former.
Another couple we know have a "Look at me! Look at all my cool stuff. Too bad you're not as cool as us!" thing going on that just annoys the shit out of us. I hate people like that. I don't care how cool you are. Just be real for five minutes.
You know back in the day, I worked with this girl named Katie. Katie was one of those people who had no edit function in her head. Whatever comment popped into her mind, came out her mouth. Things like, "Have you considered coloring your grey hair?" or "Have you gained some weight? Those pants look a little tight." Yeah. She did.
Anyway, Katie couldn't figure out why no one ever invited her to lunch. She complained to the boss that "everyone hated" her, and he made us either invite her, or go to lunch separately. We opted for the later...everyone ate alone for weeks after that.
My response to the "everyone hates me" thing has always been, "Look in mirror, Babe. 'Everyone' is seldom wrong."
So that is why I am having such a crisis here. We have no friends. And it can't be everyone else, so...it MUST be us! Seriously. Is it us?
What is wrong with us? Is Betty perfectly normal, and we are the crazy ones?
Okay, now THAT is crazy. You will have to wait until I tell you the story about Betty, but I think you will agree. Betty...C.R.A.Z.Y. But, even so, there must be something wrong with us. What is it? Can we fix it or are we doomed to spending our life alone on the Island of Misfit People."
I have been accused by someone I know and don't quite see eye to eye with of thinking I am better than everyone else. I'm not sure if that is her insecurity, or if it really is me. That may be the outward appearance, but let me tell you, in my head, that is so not true. I don't think I am better. I think I am different. Different is not better. It's...well, different. This distinction is lost on her, unfortunately.
And CO has his own problem. He has a very low tolerance for people's bullshit, and once put off, stays put off. This is an extremely difficult thing to overcome whan trying to find friends. Someone says or does one little thing CO doesn't like and he is done.
Okay, so how do we fix this? How do I seem less aloof and superior, and how do we get CO to be more tolerant? It seems like it should be a simple thing, but it is so NOT simple.
The whole question of moving has come up again, and I told CO, maybe we should just move, since we have no friends, and the family situation is a mess (another blog for another time).
His response: "Do you really think it would be any different some place else?"
Uhm, no?
Before we get started here, let me warn you, this might be a rambling post full of self pity. Read on if you must, but don't say I didn't warn ya!
So CO and I...Island of Misfit People. It's like the Toy one, except it is just CO and I. All alone.
See, CO and I are, uhm, how should I say...friend challenged, in that we have none. Oh, I have some...and he has some, but WE don't have any. No couples to hang out with.
There are several reasons for this. First, I think, is the whole job differential CO and I have. CO feels as if he has very little in common with my work friends, and in fact, some have treated him rather shabbily over the years. One of my friend's spouses even told CO that he "looked down" on him. Yeah, that's going to create a warm and lasting friendship in a hurry! We have the same problem with his work colleagues...I just don't have a lot in common with them or their spouses.
Second, many of our friends are in a different place in their lives. Our children are older, and most of our friends have smaller kids. Obviously, they want to spend time with their kids, and they don't want to get a sitter all the time. We totally understand this, but as adults with older kids, we've done our time, and little ones, no matter how cute and wonderful, are disruptive and a lot of work. We've been there, done that, and don't really want to do it again...tt least not all the time.
There is also the distance problem. I am still in touch with my best friend from childhood, but she lives four states away, and my best friends from high school and college live four hours away. To top it off, they are all still on kid patrol. One of them is pregnant right now! Life happens, and people drift. I still love the three of them dearly, and I relish my time with them, but they know as well as I do, that it isn't the same. We all have our lives to live.
And of course they are my friends. Their spouses don't know CO well, and there is some built in awkwardness there.
We did have a couple we hung out with for years. We spent weekends and holidays with them...it was great! Except when it wasn't. This was CO's best friend and his wife. Uhm, let's call her Crazy Betty...because she wasn't so much ugly, but she was damn CRAZY! I will have to write a whole separate blog about Crazy Betty. Suffice it to say, we needed to get away from that poison, or get divorced. That's basically what it came down to. We opted for the former.
Another couple we know have a "Look at me! Look at all my cool stuff. Too bad you're not as cool as us!" thing going on that just annoys the shit out of us. I hate people like that. I don't care how cool you are. Just be real for five minutes.
You know back in the day, I worked with this girl named Katie. Katie was one of those people who had no edit function in her head. Whatever comment popped into her mind, came out her mouth. Things like, "Have you considered coloring your grey hair?" or "Have you gained some weight? Those pants look a little tight." Yeah. She did.
Anyway, Katie couldn't figure out why no one ever invited her to lunch. She complained to the boss that "everyone hated" her, and he made us either invite her, or go to lunch separately. We opted for the later...everyone ate alone for weeks after that.
My response to the "everyone hates me" thing has always been, "Look in mirror, Babe. 'Everyone' is seldom wrong."
So that is why I am having such a crisis here. We have no friends. And it can't be everyone else, so...it MUST be us! Seriously. Is it us?
What is wrong with us? Is Betty perfectly normal, and we are the crazy ones?
Okay, now THAT is crazy. You will have to wait until I tell you the story about Betty, but I think you will agree. Betty...C.R.A.Z.Y. But, even so, there must be something wrong with us. What is it? Can we fix it or are we doomed to spending our life alone on the Island of Misfit People."
I have been accused by someone I know and don't quite see eye to eye with of thinking I am better than everyone else. I'm not sure if that is her insecurity, or if it really is me. That may be the outward appearance, but let me tell you, in my head, that is so not true. I don't think I am better. I think I am different. Different is not better. It's...well, different. This distinction is lost on her, unfortunately.
And CO has his own problem. He has a very low tolerance for people's bullshit, and once put off, stays put off. This is an extremely difficult thing to overcome whan trying to find friends. Someone says or does one little thing CO doesn't like and he is done.
Okay, so how do we fix this? How do I seem less aloof and superior, and how do we get CO to be more tolerant? It seems like it should be a simple thing, but it is so NOT simple.
The whole question of moving has come up again, and I told CO, maybe we should just move, since we have no friends, and the family situation is a mess (another blog for another time).
His response: "Do you really think it would be any different some place else?"
Uhm, no?
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