Thursday, May 29, 2008

That Kind of Idiot

I normally try to stay away from most volatile political issues on this blog. The Men in Black said it best, "Don't start nothin', won't be nothin'." But I just have to bring this one up.

Last night, I was a speaker on a panel at ye old nearby university. The topic was estate and tax planning for registered domestic partners...which to you non-Californians, mostly equates to the formalized union of same sex couples. This panel was interesting, because it came on the heels of the California Supreme Court's decision that the state's ban on same sex marriage is unconstitutional...a ban that was approved on a ballot measure, oh I don't know, 3 or 4 years ago.

A segment of the community is up in arms over this Supreme Court decision, and of course there is a stay on the whole thing while the two sides fight it out. What I think most people don’t realize, that the only difference is terminology at this point.

You see, the “registered domestic partner” designation was a kind of consolation prize set up by the state that transferred most of the same rights to registered domestic partners that were "enjoyed" by married couples. It just couldn’t be called a marriage under state law. Registered domestic partners (which will be called RDPs from here on out…please don’t make me type that long phrasing again!) cannot be called spouses, but they are considered the next of kin in California for health care directives, inheritance, etc. Public companies must insure RDPs as they would spouses. Their income is treated as community property in California, and they must even file tax returns as married taxpayers...which isn't a benefit in most cases (the taxing authorities don’t call it the “marriage penalty” for nothing). An RDP relationship must be legally terminated, just as a marriage would, with similar parameters for property settlements and alimony. Basically the same...in the state of California.

The federal government does not recognize the RDP designation at all. The term does not exist in federal law. This won’t even change if the California Supreme Court decision holds, and RDPs become married spouses. The federal government will still refuse to acknowledge this as fact, and once these folks cross the state line, they are legal strangers…no matter what California says they are.

And while state law imposes more of the burdens of marriage (i.e., community property issues, spousal support, etc.), it is the federal government that bestows most of the benefits (survivors benefits under social security and the laws governing pensions, gift and estate taxes). So what is truly happening here, is that RDPs or same-sex spouses, call them what you will, are getting all of the burdens of marriage from the state, and none of the benefits from the feds.

It was truly disheartening to see these individuals, who honestly believed they had just achieved a victory, find out that wasn’t quite true. Indivduals in this circumstance have such an uphill battle in everything. They must get tired of fighting, to only find they haven't really won anything, except the right to wage another battle.

Of course, most of us don't get married for the governmentally allocated benefits. Do young couples in love usually sit down and plan their finances, and crunch all of numbers on the benefits and the burdens of marriage before buying that engagement ring? Isn’t marriage always more about emotional health than anything else?

So why is it unreasonable to expect a same-sex couple to want that emotional health? Why is it unreasonable for them to want that public recognition of their bond, and the implied security and sense of permanence that comes with that? Don't many of these individuals suffer enough for their differences? Why do we deny them any emotional respite at all?

I am a libertarian, which, as I understand it, means I am more of a fiscal conservative, but a social liberal. I can buy that. And this is one of the issues I fall to the left on, I will admit, because I haven’t understood the conservative argument very well.

When the ban of same sex marriage was on the ballot, one of the women at my firm said to the group at large in the break room, “I don’t know what kind of idiot would vote ‘no’ on this!” I raised my hand and admitted to being that “kind of idiot.” When I asked her why she felt the way she did, her argument became a useless series of gibberish equating to “because I said so.” Hmmm. Convincing.

My husband is firmly against the idea of same sex marriage as well, but he only gets angry at me when we try to discuss it, he doesn’t like to be reminded of my liberal side, and his argument devolves into homophobia…which he has in abundance.

So I am asking my conservative friends out there to explain it to me. I am not trying to be flippant or argumentative. I’m honestly not. Nor am I accusing everyone who is opposed to same sex marriage of being a homophobe…except CO, who really is. Seriously.

I really do want to get your point of view on this. I really want to understand why this is such a big hairy deal. I am truly open to hearing the other side of this argument. So please…comment. Explain.

But only if you can do it respectfully, without saying “because I said so,” or calling me an idiot. Thanks.

Friday, May 23, 2008

The Soundtrack of My Life - Tracks 19 - 20

Time for another entry from my 101 Best Loved Songs list. I considered playing on yesterday's 70's theme, but as I looked over my list, I discovered another theme that seems more pressing.

The American Idol finale always has several performances from established vocalists who usually have a new album coming out, and are tripping over all the other music industry acts to play a single from said new album in front of an audience of 37 million viewers. I'll bet six years ago, they couldn't pay these stars enough to be on the show. Who would have guessed.

Anyway, two of this year's performers turned up on my 101 list, so...

Summer of '69 (Bryan Adams)
From the first time I heard this song, I loved it. It probably had something to do with the fact that I was born in the Summer of '69, so there was that instant connection.

Also, it was released in the U.S. in the summer of '85, when I was a teenager who was, at long last, old enough to drive. I spent time in Colorado with my friends, and those shiny new driver's licenses bought us freedom we had never before known. It was glorious. And this song seemed to be playing on the radio the whole time.
Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya, I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life


Father Figure (George Michael)
After his odd performance on A.I. the other night, and his odd behavior over the years, I am almost embarrassed to admit to this one. But it is on my list, so I might as well embrace it.

This song was released in 1987, and coincides with my first, more-than-just-a-crush, love, as well as my first, uhm, well, s-e-x. Sorry, Mom. I won't bore you, or further embarrass myself, with the details. If you've ever heard this song, and put it into this context, well, I'm guessing you get the picture.

That's all you wanted
Something special, someone sacred
In your life
Just for one moment
To be warm and naked
At my side

Sometimes I think that you'll never
understand me
But something tells me together we'd be happy

And he didn't understand me, but for a few years, we were happy. Ahhh, young love. More about him in another post, as there is a second song on my 101 list that belongs to my first love.

Anyway, all this, and the fact that my roommate and college BFF had a raging crush on Mr. Michael. She had a giant poster of him on the wall, and drug me along to see him in concert. That was before his, uhm...gay revelation, of course. Still, when I think of him, I think of her, and while my first love did not last (thankfully), that friendship did (also, thankfully).
I will be the one who loves you until the end of time.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

David Cook and David Archuleta Guitar Hero Commercials as mentioned in the post below

Rockin' AND Rollin'

Did anyone else notice all of the new commercials last night during the American Idol finale? It must be second only to the Super Bowl for new advertising...and the cost of those spots too, I'm sure.

The water cooler talk around the office today has been all about the Guitar Hero ads channeling the Risky Business theme. That was genius! At least the David Cook's version was genius. Maybe because he plays the actual guitar, it had more impact, and he seemed to "get" the scene more than Archuletta, who has most likely never seen that movie. What good little Mormon parents would let their underage son watch a movie about pimpin', not to mention the fact that the movie was made eight years before Archie was even born.

Anyway the commercial was great. I might have to go out an buy Guitar Hero now. Oh wait! I already own it...along with Guitar Hero II...and III. Okay, so it's a guilty pleasure of mine. This commercial just makes me feel better about it. My granddaughter takes out the guitar and pretends to play along with me. She bangs her little head like a pro, and says "Comma Rocks!"

Comma...she calls me Comma. Hey...she's two.

Speaking of commercials, has anyone noticed the roller skates in several commercials lately? Roller skates...not blades. Are these finally cool again? Oh, I hope so! I was a kid in the 70's, when roller skating was teh awesome!

I used to go to Roller City, with my BFF Cindy. I can still see that place in my head...the disco ball, the blue and white tiled floor around the snack bar, and the little "pro" shop with the killer white boot skates in the window. I always rented skates...and they were always tan. Tan rental skates with big opaque rust-colored wheels and stoppers. I so badly wanted a pair of those white boot skates with the pretty transparent wheels...the cool girls used to wear them with pom poms that matched their outfits.

My friends and I would make the pom poms for our tennis shoes, but I never had white boot skates to tie them on. I did eventually get a pair of skates that looked like tennis shoes (they were blue with yellow stripes on the side, and big yellow wheels), which were cool too, but not as kick ass as the white boots. Just LOOK at them.

You can almost hear the Bee Gees playing in the background, can't you?

If I had white boot skates, I'd go home right now and put them on...and play Guitar Hero. Then I would REALLY rock!

Until I fell on my ass.

Idol Chit Chat...The Winner

David Cook!!!!

Yay! All is right with the world!

I am truly shocked...but pleasantly so. It occurs to me my favorite has never won Idol. I like this much better.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Idol Chit Chat...The Finale

David Cook...you're killing me, Dude. KILLING ME!

He hasn't had what I would call an outstanding performance since Neil Diamond week. Why did he wait until the last few weeks of the competition to fall off a bit. WHY?

Is it Archuletta's Dad? Did he threaten to take him out with a metal bat a la Tonya Harding / Nancy Kerrigan? Or does he simply feel sorry for the earnest, simpering, weepy little brat with the controlling stage dad?

What is it?

Maybe he realizes it doesn't matter, and that regardless of the outcome of this competition, David Cook will likely go the way of Chris Daughtry, whereas the brat will end up following the footsteps of so many before him )Reuben, Fantasia, Taylor, Jordin), making David Cook the champion where it counts most for a musician.

Still, it matters to ME, so I voted for two hours...continuously hitting redial as I watched the Dancing With the Stars Finale (no surprises there, by the way).

And I MUST say quickly...the brat's version of Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me did not hold a candle to THIS ONE . Did I not mention it was my favorite? The brat singing this was just salt into the wounds for me.

In fact, I am actually glad this is almost over, if for no other reason than I will be free of the brat.

"Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!"

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Idol Chit Chat...Top 3 Results

I missed most of the show last night. My oldest friend in the world (I have known her since I was five years old) called for a nice long chat, and that was more important. I did make it to the TV just in time to see the shocking results. Okay, not shocking. Not even mildly surprising. I have known this for weeks.

So CO says, "You've got to rewind the TiVo and watch Fantasia's performance."

Now this is surprising. We did not watch Season 3, so we are not long time fans, nor haters of Fantasia, and from the limited amount I know of her, her sound is not generally something to which CO would subscribe. But I did as he suggested.

Xenu on a stick! WHAT was THAT?

Was she that hideous when she was on Idol? Form the look of astonishment on Simon's face, I am guessing not.

And she is going on tour? Would people really pay for this? Really?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Idol Chit Chat...Top 3

Another blah-ish week for me, if I'm being honest, Dawg. It just didn't seem like top 3 performances to me.

David Cook was the best (you knew I was going to say that)...although that's not saying much. The songs that were picked for him were...just odd. Of course that is true for all of them. Syesha was trying too hard. And David A., I truly dislike him, this you know, but "My Boo?"

My Boo?

Can you hear yourself, David? Can you hear how ridiculous you sound? Because I can. Of course, I have been able to hear it all season. I have magical, "ridiculous" detectors for ears, you know. Ugh!

CO commented there were no kick ass performances this year. I get what he's saying. In previous seasons, there has been one "WOW" performance from someone. Okay, not last year either, but last year we were dealing with the shallow end of the talent pool. This year was supposed to be different.

I disagree with CO a little, in that I wasn't taking much notice of David Cook until he did his Hello thing, then he sealed the deal with the Billie Jean performance, so those were somewhat stand out, for me. But I still get where CO was going.

THIS is where he was going...his favorite Idol performance of all time:

(Okay, I suck and I can't get the links to work! They are showing up in separate posts below. Scroll down...I'll wait. CO's favorite is TWO posts down. Go on now!)

Now Carrie was not my favorite that season, but even I had to admit that she kicked ass with this song. I think she won it right there. Oh and Simon's prediction at the end of that clip...spot on.

Now this is MY favorite Idol performance of all time:

(Yeah...do the scroll thing again. Go I said!)

Bo Bice just gave me chills in this performance. He was da bomb, Dawg.

Can you tell we loved us some Season 4?

And before you get all up in my grill with your Kelly Clarkson, and your Clay Aiken, we didn't start watching until Season 4, so I'm not dissing your peeps, I'm simply have no basis for an opinion. M'kay? Great.

Anyway, performances aside, I voted for David Cook the entire time I was watching the Dancing With the Stars results. I punched redial every 15 seconds for like an hour.

I must say, I am looking forward to next week when all this reality TV is over, and I can take a much needed break from sticking my fat nose into these people's lives.

Bo Bice - Don't let the sun go down on me

Carrie Underwood - Alone

Monday, May 12, 2008

Surviving Survivor

Okay...I don't know how many people out there still watch this show, but if you do, I am begging you to explain to me how...HOW did Parvati win this thing?

Seriously?

HOW?

Happy Mothers' Day

Computer problems at home prevented me from wishing everyone, especially my own awesome Mommy, a Happy Mothers' Day!

So better late then never...I hope.

Friday, May 9, 2008

A 56 Questions Meme From Tracey

A Meme from Tracey

1.ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I have sooo many, clutz extraordinaire that I am. I have one on the back of my head from getting kicked with a roller skate at Roller City when I was like 8. I have scars on both knees from eating it on my bike when I was like 9…and I was wearing parentally forbidden flip flops (we called them thongs back then...before, uhm, thongs) while bike riding, which got me in trouble on top of the stitches in both knees. Talk about adding insult to injury! I have four scars on my feet…three from surgeries, and one from cutting my foot on a piece of glass. See…way more than you needed to know. I’ll shut up now.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
A sign that says “If I should fall behind, wait for me” which is a lyric from our wedding song. I know someone who makes these, if anyone wants a customized one of their own (you pick the lyrics or phrase and color scheme). End of shameless plug.

3. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
2:09 pm…my mom calls me every year at exactly 2:09 pm.

4. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
A job for my dad.

5. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
My parents…they moved far away. And my Grandma...she moved to Heaven.

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
I don’t know that I have one. For functionality, my iPod. For sentimentality, my scrapbooks, or my engagement ring…I dunno.

7. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′10″

8. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DAY? Depends on the topic, but not usually.

9. WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Tracey’s answer: “Being old and alone”
Maggie’s answer: “Oh! Me too!”
Thanks meme…NOW I am scared during the day. Thanks a lot.

10. WHAT KIND OF HAIR COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I don’t have a preference, as long as there IS hair.

11. WHAT ABOUT EYE COLOR? Nothing like those baby blues.

12. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Hmmm, not really in to either, but if I had to pick, it would be some sort of iced coffee dealio.

13. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Pepperoni.

14. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
My answer would have to be a Tagamet. I had Cheesecake Factory for lunch, and I am so full. I can’t even think about food right now.

15. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
They all have their place…except olive green

16. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
Not that I recall. I did drink quite a lot in college, however.

17. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU EVER RECEIVED?
Aren’t they all meaningful?

18. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
Well always with CO, but besides that, like Tracey, I also have some inappropriate celebrity crushes…and since we are talking about DWTS (well Tracey was talking about DWTS anyway), I will say that Christian De La Funetes (or however you spell it) is a yummy little piece of candy. The dimples AND the accent…mmmmmm.

19. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
I think I got over the brand thing in college. Now whatever is on sale is what I like best.

20. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU WANT? A 1957 Bel Aire…I love the fins!

21. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Been there, done that, so uhm, yes, I have.

22. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
Barely…Victoria, Canada, and Tijuana, Mexico. Does that even count?

23. YOUR WEAKNESSES? Lists…and meme’s.

24. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? No

25. FIRST JOB? A runner for an insurance company. Also my most fun job.

26. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Why? Do you have Olive Oil in a jar?

27. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOUL MATE? Whatever that means.

28. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT? Working…sort of.

29. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? See question 1

30. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? Well, NOT my scarred up feet.

31. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? To not discuss it.

32. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? That ship has sailed. No point discussing it either.

33. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? A famous baseball player.

34. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST TURN OFF WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? Condescension

35. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU MISS ABOUT GRADE SCHOOL? Field trips and special sack lunches (see Tracey's meme of last week) .

36. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Speaking of last week’s meme…I still use Suave. I am still a cheapskate. Ask me again next week…maybe I will have won the lottery by then.

37. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
My good handwriting very much…my note taking/pissy staff evaluation handwriting, not so much.

38. ANY BAD HABITS?
Tons…just ask my husband. Or my parents. Or my co-workers. Or my kids. Or my in-laws. Or the guy on jury duty with me yesterday.

39. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
Rarely. But I’ve got to say I would have a problem with CO going on DWTS (yes, I’m still on that subject). They get VERY touchy and intimate. It’s kinda...hmmmm. Of course CO is not a star, so no danger there. I’m good. Until they come out with Dancing with Regular People...then I'm going to have a problem. Get away from my CO, Miss Thang! And take your damn feather boa and sequined mini skirt with you! Who-urrr (said with my scariest mafioso accent).

40. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I think so. I try to be loyal and supportive, and I am pretty non-confrontational with my friends, if not with total strangers (for example, the guy on jury duty with me yesterday...hey, a girl has to vent somehow!) Also…I’m funny. Sometimes. Okay once…but I was REALLY funny!

41. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
Hmmm…it’s been a long time, but as I recall, that never seemed to work out too well. One of the friends is always hoping to upgrade to a better benefits package, while the other is content with the benefits as stated in the original plan. There are generally too many exceptions to, and limitations on the benefits provided, and you never know when there are black out dates or when you have accrued enough points to qualify. Someone is left calling customer service to complain that the benefits weren’t quite what they’d enrolled for. The program was just way too complex for me.

42. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? I yell at people in my car…and sometimes the jury room.

43. WHAT’S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
“That would be harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan…………..and world peace.”*

44. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Any and all things Barbie.

45. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
I have no clue. Fewer than most people, I’m guessing.

46. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
I was far too old for Barney…but I hope I would NOT have been, were that fact changed. He bugs.

47. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Yes, please.

48. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? Yes.

49. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
No…I’m 38. It is in my house…not my “room”. I am getting the sense I am too old for this meme.

50. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
Ha! I read this as “50 plans for tonight?” I thought “50! I don’t even have 1!” Duh! Well, uhm, the answer is no, then, obviously.

51. WHAT’S THE FASTEST YOU’VE EVER GONE IN A CAR?
Why? What did your radar gun say, because there is no way, I was going that fast, Officer. No way!

52. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Marilyn Manson’s version of “Personal Jesus.”

53. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
A diet something or other. I think it was Coke. Shall I call Cheesecake Factory and ask them if they serve Coke or Pepsi? How badly do you want to know, meme?

54. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?
I decline to answer this question. “Don’t start nothin’, won’t be nothin’”**

55. DO YOU HAVE A LOW SELF ESTEEM OR A HIGH SELF ESTEEM?
Why? What did you hear? Did someone say something bad about me? Of course they did…I mean, who wouldn’t? Right? Are we almost done here…I need to go cry?

56. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Nothing…it is a rare thing. But I am listening to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on my iPod. It’s a different experience to reading it.

In case you weren’t into my movie vibe…
* From Miss Congeniality
** From Men in Black

Out Of The Loop

Again. I have been on jury duty all week, and have missed things...my A.I. post for example (it was fairly sucky this week, by the way). And I have tons of things to talk about.

But I have been on jury duty all week, so my work has suffered proportionately, and I have no time to catch up.

Next week, perhaps.

Good weekend to you all!

Monday, May 5, 2008

It's a Boy

The new grandbaby due in September...it's a boy.

We just found out.

10 fingers, 10 toes and 1...well, you get the picture. A boy.

Secretly, I was hoping for another granddaughter, having had three boys, and enjoying shopping for the pink version as I do, but so long as he's healthy, it should be easy enough to fall back into the habit of buying trucks and such.

So snips and snails and all that. A boy.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Thanks

...for all of the congratulatory comments everyone. I REALLY appreciate it.

And in answer to Cullen's question...no, I do not get a window. I am suck in the cave.

But I can now use my lava lamps with impunity!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

It's Official

It's May 1st, and I am officially a partner today.

You start out and you wonder if you will ever get there. You work and work and work and wonder. I hoped to make it by 40...I will be 39 in July, so mission accomplished.

Of course, other than the congratulatory flowers on my desk, it doesn't feel any different. Not today anyway. All of the anticipation, and it's somewhat anti-climatic.

Also, there is that whole dark cloud of the unknown out there...and a very "be careful what you wish for" vibe about the whole thing.

Time will tell.

In the mean time, I have finally achieved what was really one of my last goals. Guess I need to get some new ones.

UPDATE: Make that TWO sets of flowers...one from my fellow partners, and one from my wonderful CO.