A Wise Ass Once Said...

One last thing...

2009-09-09T10:30:00.002-06:00

I can see lots of hits on my site meter that are from people I know, so I know you are still reading.

I am only going to ask one favor...and obviously it isn't for me.

My grandpa may be coming to visit you all in the fall, and he knows nothing about any of this. I haven't told him because I don't want to put him in the position of having to chose between his daughter and granddaughter, and his nieces and nephews. I know which choice he would make, but I am not selfish enough to ask him to. I have no desire to take away his illusions of you.

This may very well be his last visit. I hope you can find it in your hearts to treat him kindly and fairly...even if this isn't a courtesy you can extend to the rest of us.

I hope in this one thing you can prove to be the people I thought you were.

Housekeeping

2009-09-08T15:36:00.004-06:00

I wrote the post below this morning, only to discover that people I thought had long ago abandoned this blog were actually still lurking about.

It's fine. I learned the hard way not to post anything you wouldn't say to someone directly. I promised to never do it again, and I haven't. This post is no exception.

But the purpose of moving to this blog was to be able to write without the fear of repercussion. I trusted only a handful of individuals I know in real life with that information...only those I thought the very most trustworthy. I made a huge error in judgment by placing that trust in them.

So soon I will be moving...AGAIN. And this time NO one I know in real life will be invited.

But my invisible blog friends will.

It will probably be a few weeks before I have time to get this move accomplished. I will be in touch.

Thanks to all of you who have been such good friends to me. It is sad when you can trust people you don't even know more than you can trust those you thought you did know.

Anyway, that horse is dead dead dead, and buried. No more of that.

If I DON'T know you in real life, and you want to keep up with the new location of the blog, e-mail me at awiseassoncesaid@yahoo.com. That e-mail will be in existence for a few more weeks.

Hard Lessons

2009-09-08T12:49:00.003-06:00

I have been quiet this summer. There has been so much happening, I have hardly had time to write things down. Also, I have been fairly introspective lately. Some things happened awhile back that started with the blog, but ended off of it...and ended badly, which have made writing anything significant a bit difficult for me. But I have some lingering feelings that need to be worked through, and there is no better forum. Here goes.

I know a person, let's call him Zipper, that I do not care for. I have many things I could say about Zipper...things I have said to him directly, so to enumerate them here would not be talking behind his back. However, while he is at the start of this, this isn't really about him, so I will leave it at the basics...he exists and I don't like him.

Back in the spring, I posted something eluding to Zipper and my displeasure over some comments he made. My effort was intended to stick up for a guy named Biff, who I believed Zipper had wronged. Biff's brother (BB) was a regular reader of my blog at that time, but Biff was not. BB posted that he was concerned about the content of the post, and asked me to take it down. He was afraid that the post might cause trouble for Biff, who definitely did NOT need it. I took the post down, as I would never want to hurt Biff, or BB for that matter. Later I had a phone conversation with BB, a person whom I truly adored and trusted completely. In that conversation, BB shared with me some negative feelings and frustrations he had towards several other people. I understood he needed to get some of those feelings off his chest, and I tried to be a good friend to him by listening and empathizing where possible. He also asked me to tell him why I felt so negatively towards Zipper. I was reluctant to share for many reasons, but after BB assured me the information would go no further, I told BB why I felt the way I did about Zipper. The conversation ended with BB saying he hoped that Zipper was not guilty of some of the things I thought he was, but he now understood why I felt the way I do. I remember thinking how nice it was to have people to lean on.

A few weeks later, I received an e-mail from BB's wife (we'll call her Nancy). Nancy told me she had "done something that may or may not make [me] really mad at [her]." She had spoken to Zipper about the things I had told BB in confidence. She felt she needed to try and mend fences. Of course Zipper denied everything, and Nancy hoped that I would be able to just accept his word and we could all live happily ever after the end.

So many emotions followed, that I could not accurately catalog them here. At first, I was not angry, just stunned. See, I thought Nancy, bless her, was just being incredibly naive. While I did not spell this out above, suffice it to say things between Zipper and I had gone far beyond mending, and any simple denial on his part would never have been sufficient to convince me of his innocence in the face of my suspicions. I was surprised that Nancy couldn't see this.

A few hours later, I was hurt. I was hurt by what seemed to me was a betrayal of a confidence. As the days wore on, this feeling increased. I reread all of the correspondence from Nancy, and I was troubled by the absolute lack of the words "I'm sorry." They were no where. Her e-mails were full of defenses for her choice to divulge my confidence to Zipper, but no apologies for doing so.

Of course it wasn't long before Zipper weighed in with me, and I retaliated. Eventually Zipper's wife, Taboo, and my mom jumped in the fray, as they were peripherally involved all along. The mud was slung thick and fast.

And during all of this, nary a word from BB, in whom I had placed my confidence in the first place. So finally, I called him. So much of the damage had been done via e-mail, I thought we needed a direct conversation. I also thought maybe it was hard for him to reach out, seeing as how he was the one who ultimately had betrayed my trust. I asked him if he was aware of what was going on. I told him I was devastated by this betrayal. His response? "Nancy and I want to stay out of it."

That is all.

No apology for repeating something he promised not to repeat. Nothing even along the lines of "maybe I could have handled this differently" (which I find is a handy thing to say when I have to smooth things over, but don't feel an apology is in order).

Just, "[We] want to stay out of it."

Oh really? You want to stay out of it? Don't you mean NOW you want to stay out of it? NOW that you have disclosed something you promised would remain private you want to stay out of it? NOW that you have people waging war against one another, you want to stay out of it?

Oh. Okay.

And I remember THIS emotion quite clearly. It is called being PISSED OFF.

I have known this man since I was born, and although we have lived apart our entire lives, I thought the time we did spend together had a forged a bond. I loved him. I trusted him. I believed he was a good, solid man. I believed he was my friend. I have never so badly misjudged someone's character in my entire life.

I haven't spoken to BB, Nancy, Zipper or Taboo since that day. As far as I am concerned, everyone had ample opportunity to say all they had to say...and some stuff they probably shouldn't have. There is no point in continuing. Nothing can be resolved.

So why am I writing about this today, you ask?

Well, I thought only the players directly involved in this little drama knew about it. I purposely did NOT post this blog months ago, because despite my broken heartedness over it, I did not want anyone else to know. Despite my ill will towards Zipper, I had no intention of trashing him to others. I never have, and I never will. I confided in one person only, and I had no intention of trumpeting HIS betrayal to everyone either. It was between us, and it would remain between us.

But just this weekend I learned that this courtesy was not reciprocated. Apparently several others have been lobbied by Nancy's tall tales, which strangely enough paints her as the victim. Apparently, my little branch of the family is being vilified for not accepting Nancy's apology...an apology that was never tendered, by the way, but I guess that is besides the point. Not a single person has reached out and asked to hear our side of the story. They have basically said they don't care.

One would think that nothing could surprise me now, and yet it does. One would think my armor would be up, and that these people could no longer cause me pain, but yet they can. One would think that some people can't sink any lower, and yet they do.

Now it occurs to me that I could retaliate. First of all, I have saved all of the e-mail exchanges between Nancy and I. I could forward those to everyone so they could see for themselves that she never apologized. They would also see some of the things she said about others to me. I could go even further and disclose the things BB said on the phone to people who would have a vested interest in that information. I could tell Zipper some things he might be surprised to learn about others' involvement in things for which my family has taken the heat.

Oh I CAN do all of those things. But I won't. Even though I never expressly promised to keep BB's secrets between us like he did, I know when something is told to me in confidence. Besides, to reveal them would hurt other people I care about, and I would never want to do that on purpose, even under the guise of mending rifts. And I have seen Zipper's wrath first hand. I would never try to get back in his good graces (as if I could) by throwing someone else under the bus.

It might make me look better to all those people out there who are judging me when they don't have all of the facts, but it wouldn't make me look better to that reflection in the mirror, and at the end of the day, that is all you have. I guess I was wrong to depend on anyone BUT that girl in the mirror. Hard lessons, but well learned.

Goodbye My Sweet Girl

2009-08-20T18:43:00.002-06:00

We finally did what we needed to do and it sucked hard. We are heartbroken. Rest in peace my sweet girl. You were the best dog ever, and we loved you. We miss you already.

Happy 1st Birthday, Grandson

2009-08-12T12:20:00.003-06:00

Not that he reads this blog. Or, uhm at ALL as far as that goes, but the sentiment is there.

This picture is a few months old, but I lost my camera case which contained the cable that allows me to upload from my camera to the computer, so this is all I've got right now. Deal. He's still adorable, of course...not that I'm biased or anything. No, not me. He's just bigger now and has less hair since his first official hair cut last week.

Anyway. There it is. Happy birthday, Little Man. Coma loves you.

That Old Black Magic

2009-08-01T15:15:00.003-06:00

We have three dogs, the oldest of whom is a black cocker spaniel named Magic. We got her from the pound about 6 months after I moved in with CO and the boys. She was little over a year old at the time, was the vets best guess, so she grew up with the boys.

Oh and she was awesome with them...patience beyond measure.

Once, while I was making dinner, I noticed Yute, who was the only one at home with me at the time, was awfully quiet. He was right behind me, watching a video, but there were no sounds of toy trucks crashing or toy trains chugging or balls bouncing. When I looked back over my shoulder, he was cuddled up to Magic, quietly putting stickers all over her, while she gave me this long suffering, but exceedingly patient look that said, "You're going to do something about this, right?" She sat still and quiet while I tried to get the stickers out of her fur with a little pain as possible.

And through all of life's trials, she has been just as quiet, calm and patient. A few years later, we added a second dog, who grew to twice Magic's size, but Magic remained unconcerned. She survived three boys and their teenage angst. We moved a few times, added grandbabies who pulled at her hair when we weren't looking and even a third dog who is a whirlwind of energy, and through it all, she just looks at us like, "Oh okay. So this is what we're doing now. That's cool."

She was never the most affectionate of the dogs, nor the most playful. But she is simply the most "chill" being I have ever known...dog, human, whatever. No one rolls with the punches like this dog.

In May, she got an injury on her back that became infected, and she had to have surgery to drain the abscess. The vet insisted I take the cone home to keep her from biting at the stitches and the drains that were stuck in her, but I never needed to use it. She just dealt with it, like every other thing in her life, without worry or complaint.

I asked the vet then if we should even have the surgery done. Magic is estimated to be around 14 years old in people years, after all, and completely deaf. She has trouble with the function in her back legs. But her appetite is still in tact, and she is still happy to see us when we come home. The vet assured us we would know when it was time.

Now, a few months later, her back legs have only gotten stiffer and her movement more difficult. She still does not seem unhappy, but then again, she never did. Her personality is a constant.

So how will we know when we are being selfish by keeping her here? How will we know when she has had enough?

Dogs are so awesome. They bring so much joy. But this single moment in a pet parent's life...this one single, horrible moment is so completely awful, that I cannot stand to think of it. But think of it we must. She trusts us and believes in us to do what is best for her. But how do we know what that is?

HELP?

Question of the Day

2009-07-31T12:16:00.001-06:00

Is it hypocritical to judge someone for being judgmental?

Just wondering.

Thanks

2009-07-28T21:57:00.002-06:00

Thanks everyone for both the kind sympathy, and the birthday wishes of last week. I truly appreciate the camaraderie and support you all unfailingly provide. You're awesome!

More Heartache

2009-07-23T09:54:00.004-06:00

My cousin committed suicide last night. He was 46.

This is not my first experience with suicide...unfortunately. One of my best friends from high school, the brother of my oldest childhood friend, and a co-worker have all taken this same road.

This kind of a death is so unique. There is the grief, of course, but it is accompanied by the warring emotions guilt and anger.

It is the most completely selfish, and irrevocable choice a person could ever make. Does a person at this place in their life ever think about those they will leave behind to bear this devastation? Do they ever think of the person who will find them, and the images that will thereafter haunt them for life? Or are they simply so absorbed in their own pain that it becomes more important than anyone else's pain?

Then I remind myself that someone who would do this, they are in a very dark place...a place, thankfully, I have never been. They are unwell, both mentally and emotionally, and they don't know how to get the help they need. They don't even think they can be helped. But they can. Of course they can. Things suck sometimes, but they always get better, too. But someone in this dark place cannot fathom it.

And, then there is the waste. I have lost three people I have cared about in the last 7 months that would have done anything to stay longer. And here is someone I cared about willing to throw it all away. It is incredibly unfair.

Still, I will remember him laughing. I guess, like many, I didn't see the dark side of him. He was incredibly fun to be around.

I will miss you, WRL. I will miss you, and I am so very sorry you felt this was your only option. I hope you have finally found some peace, because the price you paid, and everyone paid, was very, very high.

I know his sister-in-law reads this blog, so to her, his wife, his brothers and sister, his nieces and nephews and his in-laws, I hope you find some peace too. I am very, very sorry.

Lordy Lordy Here Comes 40

2009-07-21T21:26:00.002-06:00

I turned 40 today. Birthdays ending in zeros tend to inspire some navel gazing, even with the most positive of attitudes. The good news is, I am quite satisfied with my life at 40. I have learned some amazing things in my first 40 years.

First, I am facing this milestone with some appreciation rather than trepidation, because I am one of the lucky ones. I GET to turn 40. Unfortunate events like this and this have taught me that not everyone is so blessed.

Next, I have a wonderful husband in CO. Few people are as fortunate to have intimacy and friendship, trust and respect, love and support all wrapped up in the same person. My CO is hard to get to know, and many don't understand him, but I know who he is, and he is a good man. He teaches me every day that is it much better to be rich in love than material goods.

I also have three step sons whom I cherish. At 40 I realize that I am never likely to experience motherhood in the traditional way, and most certainly I have missed something. For many the sense of loss accompanying this void is a constant, acute pain, but thanks to these amazing boys this has eased to a dull ache for me, such that some days I don't even notice it, and most days no one else does. While I know I am not their mother, I also know they love me. They have taught me many lessons, not the least of which is that while you can't always get what you want, sometimes you get what you need.

Even things with Yute are better these days, which is a gift for which I dared not hope. Yet here it is...which teaches me to never give up on the really important stuff.

Of course I cannot mention the boys without mentioning the greatest gifts they have given me. While the four little bundles of joy known as Puddin' Pop, HiC, Punkin' Pie and Peanut were not exactly heralded with singular joy, coming as they did with so much worry, I adore each and every one of them. They are truly little miracles, and I couldn't love them more if they had been planned under the best of circumstances. They have taught me that even when things seem their worst, there is always a silver lining.

I am also extremely lucky to have wonderful parents, who taught me to be strong and independent. I couldn't possibly cover all of the lessons they have taught me over the last 40 years. They have been, and continue to be great examples to me. They have suffered over the last year an a half, but despite all this, they are staying positive. They are now embarking on a new course...one quite different from what they had planned. So the most recent thing I have learned from them is that even the best laid plans can go awry, but keep your chin up and believe there is a reason for everything. Sometimes you just have to go with it.

And even luckier still...at 40 I still have a living grandparent, who is still living on his own, unassisted, and in good health. A short time after I was born, he lost his hand in an industrial accident. This was 40 years ago, long before workers' comp and AD&D insurance; long before huge legal settlements were handed out like candy to people who burned their tongues on hot coffee. Yet, it barely slowed him down. I don't think in 40 years I have heard him say, "I can't" simply because of his hand. Four years ago he lost his wife of over 50 years, my beloved grandma, and this was just one more trial he faced with uncommon grace. He has taught me that bitterness has no place in life. Whatever life hands you, rock on.

In addition to all of these wonderful people, I have terrific friends. I still talk regularly with my best friends from elementary school, junior high, high school and college, not to mention some true blue friends from my adult life. These folks have been with me through thick and thin, and although we may not speak every day, or sometimes for months at a time, I know that if I truly need them, they would be there. They have taught me many things too, not the least of which is how to laugh at myself.

I cannot forget to mention my three four-legged children...my wonderful dogs. no one loves me as unconditionally as they do. I have learned form them that to truly be the best person you can be, you should try to be more like your dog.

Lastly, I am gainfully employed, and actually met the career goals I had set for myself to reach by 40. In this crappy economy, that is more than I could hope for. My career teaches me daily that there is always more to learn.

So there it is, the lessons I have learned in my first 40 years. I can't imagine what the next 40 years will bring. But no matter what happens next, life's been good to me so far, and I couldn't have asked for more.

Oh Boy!

2009-07-15T18:15:00.002-06:00

Our new grandson was born today. He was two weeks early, but healthy and he and mom are doing great.

I've got no pictures yet, as I am leaving to see him in just a few minutes.

Still, I wanted to formally welcome him to the world here, because as we all know, if a tree falls in the forest, and no one blogs about it, it didn't make a sound.

Or something like that.

Of Contractors and Conspiracy Theories

2009-07-06T17:57:00.005-06:00

On June 20th, our evaporative cooler had a meltdown, and flooded our kitchen. Yes I said evaporative cooler...also known as a "swamp" cooler. Our house was built in 1949, and is still, 60 years later, not vented for A/C. Honestly, the cooler works fine most of the time...except when it doesn't. We lost one wall and a third of the ceiling in the kitchen, but not the hardwood floor (miraculously).

It is now July 6, and we still have no wall, no ceiling and no cooling machine. Just try to get a contractor to respond to you in anything resembling a timely manner. Go ahead...I'll wait. I'm getting very proficient at it. Stupid me. Here I thought the industry was slow, and that contractors were desperate for work right now. Apparently not. Some don't even return phone calls. Some come out and decide the job is to small for them or whatever, and never send you the quote they promised, or even return phone calls. Some come out, give a quote, then go on vacation for a few weeks, during which time they don't even return phone calls.

Okay, I sort of get this last one, because I don't like to return calls while on vacation either, but still I'd like to know when they can get to the work. I mean an estimate? A ballpark? Something? Of course that would entail the insurance company calling me back as well, and I'm sure you can guess the likelihood of that happening.

To add insult to injury, we decided to spend part of our three-day weekend doing some minor, MINOR home repairs, like switching out the tub and shower knobs, spouts, and whatchamacallits (I am very technical when it comes to these kind of things, so try to keep up). In the process of shopping for these items, we spied a new bathroom sink faucet that we really loved and decided to buy. Of course it was brushed nickel and everything else in the bathroom was chrome, so the shopping spree began. Unfortunately, in the process of changing the pipe that goes from the shower head to the major plumbing behind the wall from chrome to brushed nickel, we encountered a set back. The damn thing snapped like a dry twig...behind the wall. Way behind. The really bad kind of behind.

And so minor repairs have turned into major ones. In addition to the holes in the kitchen, we now have holes in the bathroom. Uhm, so does this make us holy? After the profanities I have uttered over all of this, I'm thinking no. If I had known that damn sink faucet was going to end up costing several thousand dollars payable to the general contractor You Fuck It Up, We Fix It (who won't even return phone calls), I would have happily lived with the old one, which wasn't even broken to start with!

So my question to you is...why? Why oh why are we suffering this home repair karma? Is this some master plan to keep a contractor employed for one more week? Or maybe it is a scheme concocted by the state assembly to syphon more sales tax dollars into the California budget? Or maybe Verizon Wireless wants me to use up all of my minutes calling and recalling a bunch of people who won't even return my phone calls, so they can charge me a premium rate when I have to, at last, call a shrink. For all I know, the shrink may even be in on it! Or even the makers of Prozac!

It's a conspiracy, I tell you! A conspiracy!

I need a drink. And some Prozac.

Holy...Crap

2009-06-27T18:40:00.004-06:00

CO and I were at a car show today, which was held at a large church. One of our car club friends is a member of the congregation, and the show was a fundraiser for the church, so we took our car out. They had all kinds of great things for kids to do, so Melvin brought the Puddin' Pop out too.

At one point in the day, she needed to use the bathroom, which was located inside the church proper. They had the doors open so you could see out into the area services are held, the altar, etc. The Puddin' Pop looked through the doors and saw all of this and asked what all that was.

MM: "This is a church."

PP: "A church! Does Jesus live here?"

Now there are several older "church ladies" milling about, taking an interest in Puddin' Pop's question. I smile...probably a little more smuggly than I should have, impressed with this 3-year-old and her knowledge of Jesus (especially considering my seemingly constant state of challenge with faith. I look at my granddaughter very seriously and say, "Yes, Pop. Jesus does live here."

And Pop replies very, very loudly, "Oh My God!"

Buh bye fleeting moment of pious achievement. Buh bye.

Reason 36,742...

2009-06-27T18:37:00.002-06:00

why I love CO.

Inside my anniversary card he wrote: "I am always on the greenest side of the fence with you."

That is just an awesome thing to say.

I am lucky girl.

10 Years...

2009-06-26T13:34:00.002-06:00

and our lives are still much busier than I would have guessed, or liked for that matter. But 10 years later, I love you more than I would ever have guessed, too.

Happy Anniversary, CO. I love you.

As I Remember, What a Night

2009-06-04T12:16:00.005-06:00

I just found out today that a dear old friend, with whom I had lost touch over the past few years, died of ovarian cancer less than a month ago. She was 39 years old.

I can't seem to stop crying.

But for the grace of God, go I. Why is it that some of us get these burdens to carry, and some don't? That is the universal question, isn't it? And one to which there is no answer.

I didn't get to say this to her, so I am saying it to the blogoshpere, and hoping that some way, some how, she hears it too...

A, I am so sorry we lost touch. I know it wasn't because of a lack of affection for one another. I have spent all morning, recounting times we spent together.

You were there for me twice when I thought my world was falling apart. I know now that after one of those times, CO promised you he wouldn't break my heart. Thank you for caring about me enough to need to hear that from him. Thanks too for throwing me my bridal shower. It was a beautiful gift you gave to me.

I am so very sorry for the suffering you have endured the last few years, for both the physical pain, and the fear. I am so glad E was by your side. I remember when you two started dating. I told you he was a good man, and we were right. I will do whatever little thing I can to comfort him now.

We had some wonderful times together. one of which I wrote about here, but there were so many others. I found a picture of us today, at Magic Mountain. Me, you, E. and R. I remember standing in lines, playing music trivia games to amuse ourselves.
We always managed to amuse ourselves. "Which ones are named Doobie?" I STILL say that almost every time I hear a Doobie Brothers song.

You were a good friend to me, A. I am blessed to have known you, and I will never forget you. I hope, where ever you are now, that you can know that.

Always,
Maggie May

iTunes Tuesday - Eight Days a Week

2009-06-02T10:50:00.005-06:00

I have not done iTunes Tuesday for a long time, but yesterday's short post, and a friend's comment to me about "Tuesday" songs inspired me. So here we go. Answer the questions, and give me the artist who posed them.

1) I'm in love. What day is it? On which days can you break my heart? Fall apart? Answer: Friday (and on Monday you can fall apart...Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart) - The Cure (Good job Cullen!)

2) If first you love me, then you say it's wrong, and I can't go on believing for long, on what morning do you sure look fine? Answer: Monday - Fleetwood Mac (Good job, 'Fly)

3) If a man is selling ice cream, singing Italian songs, what day is it, and where are you? Answer: Saturday in the Park - Chicago (Good job my anonymous friend, B and Nightfly)

4) If the trees are drawing you near, and you have to find out why, and the gentle voices you hear explain it all with a sigh, what afternoon is it? Answer: Tuesday - Moody Blues (Another correct answer by the 'Fly)

5) Which night is alright for fighting? Answer: Saturday - Elton John (Cullen and 'Fly got this right!)

6) What day can't you trust (this one's a gimme)? Answer: Monday - Mamas and the Papas (The Anonymous Missy B. was correct)

7) If bodies are strewn across the dead end street, what day is it? Answer: Sunday Bloody Sunday - U2 (Nightfly is groaning right now)

8) Don't question why she needs to be so free. She'll tell you it's the only way to be. What's her name? Answer: Ruby Tuesday - Rolling Stones (Nice one, 'Fly!)

9) If you've spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze, come what day will it be alright? Answer: Monday - Originally Jimmy Buffett, but a country guy remade it more recently...maybe Kenny Chesney? I can't recall. (Good job B)

10) I yi yi yi just can't wait. I yi yi yi got a date. What night is it? Answer: Saturday - The Bay City Rollers (Excellent job, 'Fly. I didn't think anyone would get that).

Bonus: A song with multiple days, which day is which:
a) The day I feel better just for spite Wednesday
b) the day that was never good anyway Monday
c) The two days that take too long Thursday, Friday
d) the day that everything's alright Sunday
e) the day you I a little sideways Tuesday
f) the day that's gone before I know it Saturday

Lori Morgan was the artist (Nicely done, B.)

Okay...go!

Can't Trust That Day

2009-06-01T14:36:00.001-06:00

Happy Monday all. I know, that may be an oxymoron. Still...here's hoping.

The Friendly Skies

2009-05-26T12:17:00.004-06:00

I just got back from a trip to Orlando, Florida. Before you think I had fun, let me tell you it was for work...I was attending a conference on employee benefit plans. I know. I know. Try not to be jealous. I was only outside to go from the airport to the hotel/conference center, and from the hotel/conference center to the airport...which turned out to be a good thing seeing as how it started raining the day after I got there, and didn't stop until...well, HAS it stopped? I don't know. But I do know, I have never seen rain like that in my life. It doesn't rain like that here in Southern California, Peeps. Not even close. I felt like I was surrounded by a waterfall. I did all of my shopping in the Orlando Airport.

Anyway, this whole travel experience got me wondering, as it always does, about why people in airports and airplanes (and probably trains and buses too) have to act like such inconsiderate assholes?

My whole goal of traveling is to be as inconspicuous as possible. Frankly, think this should be every one's goal in traveling. You know, inconspicuous...not immediately obvious, unremarkable, unobtrusive, not noticeable. Inconspicuous.

I know most of you get this, but there are those of you out there...say ten to fifteen or so on any given flight, that simply do not get this. And those ten of you can make traveling a tortuous hell for the inconspicuous folk. So let me try to explain this in a way you will understand. Kay? Good.

DO arrive at the airport with plenty of time so that you can patiently stand in the inevitable lines and still comfortably make your flight.
DON'T arrive late then bitch long and loud about the line until the people around you, who properly planned their day, feel compelled to let you cut in line ahead of them, just to shut you up.
DO have all of your baggage properly tagged with your address, so they can be quickly handled at the counter.
DON'T show up with thirteen unmarked bags and make the rest of us wait while you fill out address tags at the counter, all the while complaining about the bag fees. Yes, the bag fees suck. We all think so. Your nonstop bitching and moaning about them is not helping.
DO have yourself ready to go through the security checkpoint. This means having your properly-sized liquids stored in a clear, properly-sized zip-lock bag, your laptops out of their carrying cases, and your shoes off in anticipation of the event.
DON'T arrive at the security checkpoint with a bottle of shampoo from Costco in your carry-on, and try to bargain with the security guard.
DON'T decide to completely unlace your high-top tennis shoes, only after making security guard order you to remove your them, to punish the guard. It is not him you are punishing. It is the poor souls stuck behind you in line.
DON'T try to get your laptop through security without removing it from it's case because it is a special, sensitive machine, and you are a special, sensitive creature.
DO be ready to board the plan when your rows are called.
DON'T crowd around in front of the gate at the first possible sighting of a flight attendant. We are all going to arrive at the same time. Being the first one on the plane does not mean you will be the first one on the ground.
DO be organized and quick in boarding the plane and stowing your carry-on luggage.
DON'T apply your make-up, balance your checkbook, change your child's diaper, or read War and Peace until AFTER you get your butt in your seat, with your seat belt securely fastened. The fifty people in the aisle behind you are trying to get to their seats too.
DON'T try to cram a super-sized duffel bag with wheels in the overhead bin. It is not going to fit. You should have checked it in the first place, Idiot!
DON'T then try to hold this super-sized duffel bag on your lap. The flight attendant IS going to notice. So are the people sitting next to you.
DO listen to and follow the flight attendant's instructions.
DON'T think the seat belt, or tray table, or seat back rules don't apply to you. I don't know why the tray tables and seat backs HAVE to be in their upright and locked positions, but they do, okay? These are the rules. Just follow them. JUST FOLLOW THEM! DON'T make the flight attendant come tell you three times.
DO try to hold it. If you can't, DO get an aisle seat towards the rear of the aircraft, if possible. And DO plan your potty trips so that they do not interfere with take-off or landing. I don't like risking my life to get out of my seat just so that you who cannot plan don't pee your pants.
DON'T sit in the window seat and make the passengers next to you get up and down ten times to let you out of your seat. DON'T decide when we are seconds from landing that you must go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW.
DO be aware that not everyone on the flight finds your conversation riveting, or your child delightful.
DON'T assume that the people in the front of the plane care to hear the vacation plans of the folks in the back of the plane.
DON'T let your screaming child continue to kick the back of the seat in front of him/her as a form of entertainment, just so you won't have to put down your vodka and your Romance of the Month club novel.
DON'T assume that your "membership" in the Mile High Club needs to be witnessed by other passengers to be valid.
DO disembark the plane in an orderly, courteous fashion, in the least amount of time possible.
DON'T stand in the aisle, pull out your cell phone, and call someone to tell them "We're here!" before getting your carry-ons and getting your butt off the plane. The people behind you on the plane are "here" too, and everyone has some place they need/want to be.
DON'T decide where you have to be in much more important than where everyone else has to be, and push your way past everyone in the aisles in front of you to get off the plane first.
DON'T decide you need to visit the bathroom in the rear of the aircraft, while everyone is trying to get off the aircraft. There are bathrooms in the airport too. Use one of those.
DO stand close enough to the baggage conveyor to locate your bag, but be considerate of others who also need to locate their bags.
DO check the tag to make sure it is your bag before you disappear with it.
DO, as quickly and quietly as possible, get out of the way once you have retrieved your bags.
DON'T push your way to the front of the conveyor belt in order to wait for baggage from a flight that has not even been announced yet.
DON'T grab that basic black American Tourister model 101 bag and run out of the airport without checking the tag, only to arrive at the hotel with someone else's clothes, then say "Well it looked like my bag." Everyone's bag looks like that. Check the tag, for pity's sake! It takes like ten seconds of your valuable time. Trust me, there will still be a cab parked out front when you are done.
DON'T get your bags, then proceed with your family reunion in front of the baggage conveyor. Move away from the damn conveyor belt before reviewing your entire vacation itinerary.

And if you can't remember all of these dos and don'ts, just remember these two...it is very simple, really: DO be courteous to your fellow travelers. DON'T act like you are the only person on the planet. Seriously.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-08T17:02:00.001-06:00

...to all the momma's out there. Especially my own! Thanks for being such a great one. I love you!

A Cinco De Mayo Gift

2009-05-05T14:15:00.002-06:00

No, it isn't beer or carne asada (although that sounds good too).

Our granddaughter finally arrived! She was born at 3:58 this morning (two weeks late), weighing in at a whopping 9 lbs 13 oz, and 19.8" long.

I haven't decided upon her blog name yet. I have to get to know her first. But here she is in all her squished, smooshed, swollen, 45-minute-old glory.

Hello? Is There Anybody In There?

2009-04-27T14:35:00.002-06:00

Yes, I am still alive. I survived tax season...my first as a partner, which was a whole new mine field to navigate. This was on top of some personal issues that haunted me throughout, and from which I am still smarting. In fact, I almost abandoned this blog because of it.

But while things here are not always as I believed, it is still true that I have friends on here, and although I don't "know" many of you, I feel like I know you. You know? Hee hee...sure you do.

Anyway, I am back, and I am happy to be here. Here are a few other things I know, just to bring you up to speed:

Office politics suck. Yes, they do. Oh...and the sky is blue. I am all about the obvious here.
Grandbaby number 3 is a girl, and has still not made an appearance, although she is past due for it. I begged her to wait until after April 15th...now it seems as if it is my turn to be patient.
We are expecting Grandbaby number 4, a boy, August 2nd. I could launch into a tirade about this one, but I have taken the position that I need to stop whining. Some people never get the chance to experience this, and it is incredibly unfair and ungrateful of me to complain about such a gift. Are there negatives? Sure. But I am trying to focus on the positives. And this is not easy for me...worst-case scenario kind of girl that I am. So I am growing here. I AM! So stop touching me. Stop it! I'm telling...oh, MOM!
I am obsessed with Farm Town on Facebook. It is stupid, juvenile, ridiculous, and completely delightful because of all that. So much for growing.

So there. That is what is happening in my world. Now I will try to catch up with yours. Thanks for letting me disappear, and still welcoming me back. You blog friends are the best.

Idol Chit Chat 2009 - Top 9

2009-04-01T11:24:00.004-06:00

I only have time to post a few thoughts.

My bottom three prediction...Anoop. Matt and Megan.

Matt did not deserve to be in the bottom three last week, and he was understandably pouty about it. So to fix that, his sucked hard this week, so he can officially feel better about being in the bottom three this week. I guess that was his theory, because that's what he did.

Anoop just bored me.

And Megan...oh please let her be going home. Her verbal inflections while singing are like needles being poked into my eyes. I cannot stand it. I would never buy anything she recorded, and I would change the station if a song of hers was playing on the radio. The girl is lovely, but the singing is teh suck. I cannot take it another week.

My top three...Adam, Danny and Kris.

I realize that a bunch of folks out there don't like Adam, but I do, and I'll tell you why...he is unique. He is never sings a song the way it was originally recorded...and I don't mean that he just shortens it up and changes a note or two. He changes many things. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it doesn't. But it is always interesting, and it is never karaoke (which I said before Simon last night, while defending Adam to CO. Of course I have no proof of that, but I did, so you're just going to have to believe me, Peeps). I don't know that I'd ever buy anything he has done, but I always look forward to hearing what he going to do.

Kris really surprised me last night. He has been flying under the radar, but the last two weeks, he has been really good. I love the song he sang last night, and I was worried he was going to fuck it up, but he didn't. I liked the changes he made. He was good, Dawg.

Danny was in my top three, but I wasn't as blown away as the judges. I love me some Danny, but weeks into this thing, he is disappointing me a little. Some of the shiny has worn off. Maybe that's due to sitting next to CO, who hates Danny, week in week out. Last week, during the results, I had to admit I saw a flash of the arrogance that CO keeps ranting about. Although I still refuse to buy into the notion that he is playing on the poor widower thing for votes. He is far to adorable, and I am not that cynical.

Rounding out the top 9 were Allison, Lil and Scott, who were all decent this week...not horrible not spectacular, just...you know...eh.

The best part of the evening was when Pauler was trying to sound sober by using big words in her critiques...intonation, magnificent, enchanting, etc. CO said, "Wow, Paula bought herself a dictionary. Either that, or she has word of the day toilet paper."

There is a visual to get us all through the week.

Repeat

2009-03-30T18:35:00.004-06:00

Okay, yes. There was a post up between Tuesday, March 17th and Wednesday, March 25th that I took down, for various personal reasons. So if you thought you were missing something, you probably were, but it was nothing important.

But I was asked to reproduce a certain part of that post, and so I have, with a few minor tweaks.

Heartbreak is discovering that something you believed in, whether it be an ideal, an individual or an organization is not a rock...strong, solid, immovable and slow to change, but rather like a sandbar...ebbing, flowing, constantly shifting beneath your feet so that what is there today can be completely different than what was there just yesterday.

Or something like that.

Idol Chit Chat 2009 - Top 10

2009-03-26T11:02:00.002-06:00

I have been woefully negligent in my Idol blogging this season. Maybe it comes from watching it with CO every week, and hearing how much he dislikes the contestants this season. He is a mad and crazy hater. I spend all my Idol energy defending my players.

I don't have much time, so I will get to the point...Adam was awesome. Allison, Matt and Kris were also great. Danny, my dear, darling, Danny...you were only alright. I expected more for you. As I did from Lil. Disappointing. But you're not going home. Anoop was decent. Better than I expected. I have a hard time judging him, because I can't stop looking at his enormous eyebrows long enough to listen to him sing. And I can only think of one thing..."Silence! I kill you!

Bottom three - Megan, Michael and Scott, with Megan going home. She was hideously awful. I mean AW. FUL.

And a quick word. I think Ryan said the most clever thing (perhaps the only clever thing) I have ever heard him say.

Paula (ducking under the table): "I have something for you, Simon."

Ryan: "Uhm, we can't show that."

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Okay...it was a visual joke, and you maybe had to have seen it to appreciate it, but I laughed out loud. I think it may have been the first time I laughed with Ryan, and not at him. An Idol milestone.

Thanks

2009-03-25T10:56:00.002-06:00

I have some wonderful, supportive friends and family out there. I shouldn't forget that because of one disappointment in life.

Thanks for being there.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T10:49:00.002-06:00

Drink a pint or two!

And More Dingo News...

2009-03-12T19:02:00.004-06:00

#10 Australian Cattle Dog
Yes, that Australian Cattle Dog from Down Under. A working dog that is traditionally occupied with controlling and herding cattle, its qualities are exceptional intelligence, alertness, resourcefulness, and a fiercely protective loyalty over its property and people. They are agile, strong, active dogs, both physically and mentally, which revel in new experiences. The flip side is that they bore easily and will unintentionally find trouble while looking for activities to occupy themselves with. The Cattle Dog is very organized; many are known for putting their own toys away after playing.

The above quote is from this article about the top ten most intelligent dog breeds.

Dingo is an Australian Cattle Dog.

So they "bore easily and will unintentionally find trouble while looking for activities to occupy themselves" and they are "very organized" and "controlling."

My GOD does that sound like anyone you know? I have myself for a dog. Huh.

And she is even like me in another way. Neither one of us have lived up to our potential in the "exceptional intelligence" department. You did saw the video...does that dog look smart to you? And well, you read this blog, so my failure is self-evident.

Like mother, like daughter. Huh.

When Dingos Attack

2009-03-10T20:12:00.002-06:00

And so it goes...

2009-03-06T10:21:00.001-07:00

...and so it goes. And you're the only one who knows.

I Am...I Said

2009-03-02T12:11:00.004-07:00

Update: Answers posted below

I have officially reached the "I" songs on my iPod project. So in the spirit of the "Don't" songs post, I bring you the list of things "I am" according to my iPod:

I'm a Believer (The Monkees...Nightfly and Ken got this)
I'm A Honky Tonk Girl (if there's gonna be beer, I'm in) (Loretta Lynn)
I'm a Long Way From Home (Shooter Jennings...although this may be a remake)
I'm a Woman (Peggy Lee..although there are multiple versions, so Ken's answer is right)
I'm Alive (Neil Diamond originally recorded this, but my version is David Cook's from last year's A.I.)
I'm Alright (Kenny Loggins...good job, 'Fly)
I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide (ZZ Top...again Nightfly got this one)
I'm Easy (Hey!) (Keith Carradine...nicely done, Ken)
I'm Gone (Bo Bice)
I'm Gonna Be Strong (Cyndi Lauper)
I'm on Fire (Bruce Springsteen, but it was also remade by Kenny Chesney...'Fly got it)
I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry (Hank Williams...Ken got it)
I'm Sorry (John Denver)
I'm the Only One (Melissa Ethridge)
I'm Too Sexy (Well, duh!) (Right Said Fred...both 'Fly and Ken knew this one)
I'm Your Boogie Man (K.C. and the Sunshine Band...and both 'Fly and Ken knew this one too...and actually admitted it. Nice job, guys!)

I am also a rock and the walrus. On the other hand I am NOT Lisa, nor am I your stepping stone, so watch it!

Now let's see how smart you are. Without cheating, who sings these songs? How many can you name?

The Interns From Hell

2009-02-27T13:59:00.004-07:00

We have five interns this year. FIVE. That is a lot for us, and I have to say, they are really disappointing me.

I mean, I figured with five interns, at least one of them would have done something monumentally stupid by now. We only had three last year, and by this time one had already quit, and another had fallen asleep at his desk. This year...nothing. Everyone is working. Everyone is learning. Everyone shows up on time and leaves on time and stays coherent for the 8 hours they are here. No one has said anything insulting, flippant, rude or idiotic.

Damn them!

They are severely impacting my blog material.

Dyno Might

2009-02-25T10:50:00.003-07:00

The video below is not very exciting, but the 496.5 rear wheel horsepower it pulled was. It is the second highest dyno day pull on a non-professionally built engine in the 8 months since the place opened. And that was cutting it off at 5000 RPMs. It was still going up, but he didn't want anything to break. If we could just get that new block, we'd really kick some ass.

Oh lottery, lottery...where for art thou?

Vaca Performance Dyno Day winner 2-21-09

2009-02-25T10:49:00.001-07:00

Just Don't

2009-02-24T11:28:00.003-07:00

One of the weird things I do during tax season to measure time passing is to listen to my iPod straight through...every song with no skips. Last year I sorted by artist, this year I sorted by song title.

I have reached the "don't" section of my song list. That is all the songs titles that begin with the word "don't." There are a surprising number of them, and it reads like a list of rules. As I keep hearing the word "don't" repeated over and over, I am starting to feel like I am being scolded.

So of course I feel the need to share that scolding with you. So, courtesy of my iPod, here are the rules for today. Follow them, and no one gets hurt:

DON'T ask me why

DON'T be cruel

DON'T bring me down

DON'T come around here no more

DON'T cry out loud

DON'T do me like that

DON'T fear the reaper

DON'T go away mad (just go away)

DON'T go breaking my heart

DON'T leave me this way

DON'T let me be lonely tonight

DON'T let the sun go down on me

DON'T stand so close to me

DON'T stop 'til you get enough

DON'T stop believin'

DON'T tread on me

DON'T worry baby

DON'T you forget about me

Just...DON'T. Okay?

California - Find Yourself Here...and Fork Over Some Money While You're At It

2009-02-22T14:07:00.004-07:00

Have you seen this ad for California on television? Are they seriously trying to get people to come live, and presumably work here with this ad?

Hmmmm. I guess they thought that sounded better than "Move to California so you can help us from going bankrupt by paying your share of the massive tax increase required to stop the bleeding from our gross overspending resulting from our complete inability to properly balance a budget."

Or even "Come to California, because somebody has to pay for the octuplets."

EDIT: I don't know why the video did not properly embed. Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md69zCJKD1c

Idol Chit Chat 2009...A Whole Lotta Gone

2009-02-19T10:48:00.003-07:00

I didn't comment on Tuesday night's performance show. With a few notable exceptions, it was teh suck. The most disappointing thing was Tatiana, in that I wanted her to stink it up, but she didn't. Still, she is a whole lotta crazy, that girl.

The results were not surprising. Alexis Grace was far and away the best female vocalist of the night. She had to have sailed through by a mile. I like her. She is an adorable little pixie. And she listened to the judges and "dirtied" herself up. She's great.

Michael was not the best male vocalist of the night, or even second best, but he has a likability factor the others don't. He is an average joe...good-looking, but not glamorous, and he is a manly man...no prom queen drama there at all. I would have selected Ricky Braddy over him based on vocals, but Ricky got screwed by the A.I. machine, in that he didn't get hardly any air time prior to Tuesday night. People already "knew" Michael.

Speaking of the A.I. publicity train, they have practically paraded Danny in on a float. Between his tragic loss, his best bud story and his general likability, he has been the A.I. poster boy for the audition phase of the competition. Everyone who has been paying attention knows and likes him already. He was a shoe in for the top 12 because A.I. made it so.

Now having said that, I have to say I basically love him. Thank you A.I.

It isn't only his story that is appealing. His face and his voice are da bomb, dawg. I think SarahK at Snark Raving Mad put it best...he "looks like Robert Downey Jr (pre-substance abuse and post-rehab), voice like buttah," and as she also pointed out, he is still wearing his wedding ring, which is just so incredibly touching. My husband, ever the cynic, says he is wearing it to play up the tragedy angle. I told him to shut it. Danny is damn sexy. Oh, and he can sing...like that's important or something.

As for the wild card round. I am not sure exactly how it works, but I hope they bring Ricky Braddy back for that, as well as Brent, who reminds me a bit of a younger CO, so I can't help myself.

So do you think that the A.I. folks were breathing a collective sigh of relief that they got off the air before Tatiana had a meltdown, or were they pulling for it? The camera kept panning to her, like they were anticipating something big. I loved how when she and Danny were on stage together at the end, he kept looking at her wearily. CO kept dubbing in Danny's thoughts, which were along the lines of: "Someone did go over this girl with a metal detector, right?", and "Security? Okay...just making sure you were paying attention." and our all time favorite line from Two and a Half Men, uttered by Berta about one of Charlie's psycho girlfriends "Did you see that bitch? You've gotta put a whole lotta gone between yourself and a crazy bitch like that."

A whole lotta gone.

Predicting Showers

2009-02-16T09:31:00.003-07:00

I know. I know. I've been negligent. But it is tax season, so it isn't likely to get any better between now and April 15th.

But I DID have a very important, pressing question for everyone.

What is your opinion on baby showers for second babies?

I was raised to believe that you get a shower for your first only. That is your first wedding, your first baby, whatever. But over the last, oh, I'd say eight to ten years, I have seen a plethora of second showers. Am I being too traditionalist? Is this now okay? Should we be celebrating all happy events in this manner? Why should baby number two be less welcomed than baby number one? Or is this just making a pest of yourself with your friends and family? Hasn't the sentiment always been that if they want to buy you a gift, they will, but you shouldn't put them in the awkward position of forced generosity...at least not twice?

I need your help here, Peeps. Seriously.

Gentlemen, I welcome your input on this topic, of course, but if you seriously have no opinion on this issue, I beg you to ask your lovely and brilliant wives their opinions. I am always down to hear what J-Mom, the Ladybug or the Sainted Bride has to say...just to name a few.

Thanks so much!

Sigh

2009-02-06T11:50:00.002-07:00

That is all. Just sigh.

The Zoo

2009-02-02T09:56:00.004-07:00

So CO and I took the granddaughter to the San Diego Zoo this weekend. A belated 3rd birthday present.

We drove the hour and a half to the zoo. We bought her an annual pass, a churo, cotton candy, a t-shirt and stuffed animal. We put .51 cents into one of those machines that flattens your penny, and imprints it with an animal's likeness. We schlepped around to all the cages, ooohing and ahhhing, and holding her up for the best possible view. We took her on the arial tram, despite our collective discomfort with heights. Then, after everyone was worn out, we headed back to the car for the return trip home.

At this point I stupidly asked her if she had fun, to which she answered, "No, not really."

Tough crowd.

Spelling Doesn't Count

2009-01-30T10:46:00.004-07:00

Yesterday CO was driving home from work and he saw a car with the windows all "painted" up to read:

"Just Merried"

He called to tell me this, and I was so pissed that he didn't have a camera phone.

I HATE it when I miss that kind of stupid.

Of Idols and Vampires and Other Obsesssions

2009-01-29T14:10:00.004-07:00

I finished the Twilight books.

I do have to admit that I pretty much get the obsession. Edward Cullen is fairly perfect.

But I don't care for Bella a good deal of the time, and Breaking Dawn went way off the rails. First, it was unrealistic. I know. I KNOW! The books are about vampires and other supernatural stuff, BUT I am perfectly capable of immersing myself in fantasy provided that the fantasy stays somewhat consistent. Breaking Dawn did NOT stay consistent. Secondly, I was told it would be a clear end to the series, and it was NOT...not at all! She could totally keep writing about these people.

And if she did...even after the irritation of Breaking Dawn, I would keep reading them. I am sick. I know. I may even have to buy a Twilight T-Shirt or something. Seriously SICK.

Speaking of sick...I am sick of the A.I. auditions already. Thank everything that is holy that tonight is the last night. Is it me, or is their new format for these things B.O.R.I.N.G.?

Hollywood week better step it up, or I will become a FORMER Idol addict.

I can quit any time you know.

What? I CAN!

MIA

2009-01-21T11:50:00.001-07:00

I know.

But I've been sick due to illness.

And I've been reading Twilight.

So yeah. I'll be back someday.

Idol Chit Chat 2009 - Phoenix Auditions

2009-01-14T10:15:00.006-07:00

I am not going to break this down bit by bit, but I did have a few comments.

Word of the day: TREMENSELY. What, you ask? Rocker in a box coined this phrase. Let me use it in a sentence for you. "Getting on this show would change my life tremensely." Get it? Great. Now explain it to me.

------

As bikini girl enters stage left (or is it right? My left, her right...whatevs), and she immediately begins annoying me, and probably every other woman in the country that is not her mother. I am silently thinking, "Oh my GOD, I hate her!"

CO says, "She's not even pretty. I mean, her body...whatever, but she has no boobs at all, and look at her face! Her nose and mouth are so ugly. She is going to get voted off fast. She can't wear a bikini all the time."

Now I am silently thinking, "Oh my GOD, I love him!"

------

Bikini girl descends upon Ryan Seacrest, and you can feel his discomfort through the television. He is not my favorite person, but I did feel sorry for him. As CO pointed out, even on the outside chance that he is straight, you still wouldn't want some half-crazy, half-dressed, ugly-faced, wanna be, stranger kissing all over you on national television. I had to give him that one too.

------

Okay, I loved the voice of the girl who sang Barracuda, but I cannot stand looking at her earlobes all season. Her pink hair and multiple tattoos and pierced lip are admittedly not my thing, but I can tolerate them. But those freaky, nasty, scary, stretched out, third-world tribal earlobes cannot be. I don't care how well she sings. Gross.

------

And my favorite part of the whole night...did you see Ryan try to high five the blind guy? Dude. He cannot see you. He's blind. Duh!

Idol Chit Chat 2009

2009-01-13T14:38:00.004-07:00

Idol starts tonight.

I should not be so excited about this. It is a television show...and one that does not take much thought on my part (although the level of snark demanded of me can sometimes be exhausting).

Still, January is harbinger of dark and dismal times for me, and Idol is the only thing I have to look forward to for the next three months.

So really, I am trying to look on the bright side here. I am trying to be an optimist, dammit!

I'm growing.

What? I AM!

Oh, and I bought Twilight. If I am going to act like a 13 year-old girl, I might as well do it right.

The Unexpected Gift

2009-01-08T10:48:00.006-07:00

This is her...the NEW dog, but I'll bet you had that figured out already.

So how did we come by this carpet destroying dog? She strolled into the shop in which CO works the week before Thanksgiving. She hung out there for a few days, while CO and the crew waited for someone to come claim her. When no one did, CO sadly told me he was going to have to take her to the pound. Now I realize this was a ploy, because he sighed and added what a good dog she was, and how terrible it would be, and yadda yadda yadda. But even though I knew it was a ploy, I played along.

"Bring her home," I said. "Let's see how it goes."

The rest is history. We did call the pound and leave our number in case anyone came looking for her, and I did check the newspapers and online dog finder services. I even took her to the vet to check for a microchip (and to get shots when none was found), but secretly, I was glad no one claimed her.

Her name is Dingo, and I officially love her...carpet not withstanding.

As best we (and the vet) can tell, she is a purebred Australian Cattle Dog (aka Queensland or Blue Heeler), and she is about 9 months old. She is an absolute love...very affectionate, and excellent with the grandkids. One night near Christmas, the Puddin' Pop comes into the room "walking" the dog...or more accurately pulling her around by the collar. Dingo was obediently following her, despite the fact that an almost 3 year old isn't all that gentle. She sleeps on the bed with us...something our other two dogs don't much care for, and she cuddles. It's wonderful! She also sits on our laps...something the other two dogs are too big for.

It's funny...CO and I always swore two dogs was plenty, and three dogs was way too many. We never would have sought out a third dog. Yet we needed her. It is the unexpected gifts, that are always the best.

Note* I don't know why this post will not format correctly. It keeps deleting my paragraph separators, and I don't have time to screw with it. If you've read this far with the dysfunctional formatting, I thank you, and I apologize for being a dumbass.

Sad Endings and Hopeful Beginnings

2009-01-05T16:52:00.008-07:00

The last few weeks have been filled with more ups and downs than any two week period I can recall.

First, my parents came to visit. Being unemployed, they had the time off, and CO and I decided to have them join us for the holidays as a Christmas present to them, and to us. Unfortunately, once they got here, all of us came down with a hateful cold that hung around for the entire holiday season. The gift that keeps on giving.

On Christmas Eve, the day my family traditionally celebrates the holiday, my father received news that he won his appeal with the State of Nevada over unemployment. This was followed by a wonderful evening spend with CO, my parents, Orin and his wife and son, and Melvin and his fiance and daughter. The only thing missing was my grandpa, who elected not to make the trip to Southern California due to the hateful cold. He doesn't bounce back the way he used to, and decided to trade that one day, for the privilege of being healthy for the next month or two. While we missed him, and our gift giving was more limited this year by financial strains, we still had a wonderful family night together.

Unfortunately the most devastating of the downs was only a few hours away, with the passing of my cousin early Christmas morning. Thanks to all of you who sent your condolences to Lori's loved ones. I ache for the loss her immediate family is suffering. Her death has left a noticeable hole* in my heart, so I cannot even imagine the depth of pain they are feeling. I wish I could take it away for them.

This loss was followed by a pipe bursting under our house on the Saturday following Christmas. Of course it was a pipe that was under the concrete under the house, and thus not one that was fixable. Two days of no hot water were followed by a plumbing bill that no one should have to pay 4 days after Christmas, which by the way was the first Christmas I did not receive a Christmas bonus as I am a partner now, and only a few days after CO received a Christmas bonus that was significantly less than what we had budgeted on. I felt a wee bit like Clark Griswald. I guess we should have been grateful it wasn't a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club, but still...

Bumber, as my darling granddaughter would say.

While the plumber was there assessing the damage, my mother was stuck inside the house with four barking dogs (one of hers, three of mine...and yes, I still need to tell you about the new dog). In an attempt to settle all the furry critters down, she locked two of them in separate bedrooms. The two older ones immediately chilled out and went back to their naps. She thought all was right with the world. Uhm, no. When she went to let our new dog out of our bedroom, she discovered that New Dog had tried to dig her way out of our bedroom. While she did not succeed in getting all the way out, she did manage to dig through the carpet to the hard wood floor beneath it. All the way through. All the way through the carpet that was installed just 16 months ago. All the way through the carpet whose remnant sat in our guest room closet for 15 months and two weeks, and was finally tossed out to make room for our holiday guests. All the way through the carpet that the company no longer carries. Yeah...that carpet.

At roughly the same time all this fun was happening at home, unbeknown to me, I was at work receiving a surprise e-mail from Yute, who you may remember from the stories here here here here here and here (phew!). I have had very limited communications with him in the past 3 or 4 years, and certainly nothing that was not initiated by me, so I was pleasantly surprised to see his name in my inbox. Let's say the pleasant feeling did not last. He was very angry and very bitter over his perceived abandonment, and he decided to take this out on me a few days after Christmas. I suppose I should take it as a compliment that he felt he could share his feelings with me, because most of this was aimed at CO, but as the buffer, I got splattered with all the shit that hit the fan.

In many ways this was good, however. We always hoped he would one day want to hear CO's side of the story, but we assumed he would be much older and, ideally, mature enough to handle it. Unfortunately, this is what we got, so no time like the present, I guess. I spent hours on my response to him. I wanted to be very careful to validate his feelings, yet explain why these feelings are misplaced. I wanted to defend CO (and myself too), but not trash his mother, because I knew he would immediately stop "listening" if I said anything bad about her (not to mention she might fly into a wicked rage). I wanted to admit to our mistakes, yet not let him completely off the hook for his own. And most importantly, I wanted him to know that despite all of this, we still loved him and always would, even if he didn't want us to.

On New Year's Day our phone rang, and it was Yute calling to wish us a Happy New Year. Yute called us. This is a New Year's miracle. He followed this call up on Friday with another, and asked if he could come down and spend the night with us. And he actually did come down (his mother actually let him)...another New Year's miracle. Better yet, the evening wasn't a total disaster. He didn't talk about the letter. I don't think he was ready for that, but he was ready to spend some time with us, and eventually I hope he becomes comfortable enough to sit down and talk about it. For now I will be content with the fact that he read it, and he initiated the contact afterward.

Of course Orin is very skeptical, and very outspoken in his opinion that we are being scammed...again. He is sure that Yute was just after the Christmas gift we originally withheld this year for the first time ever (we relented, and had it ready for him when he came to see us). Orin might be right. But how could we not take the chance?

Orin is a new father. He does not yet understand that one day, no matter how awesome your children are, they will do something that hurts you, or disappoints you, or worse, but you never give up on them. Orin's son is almost 5 moths old...he is easy to love. Orin cannot yet conceive of a time that his son will NOT be easy to love, but as surely as the sun rises, it will happen. Of course when this happens, you love them anyway. Orin cannot recall the times he hurt us, yet we forgave him...ahhh the bliss of selective memory. He doesn't believe we should afford Yute the same opportunity. He is defending our honor in a completely misplaced way, and he cannot understand why we are not grateful he never wants to speak to his younger brother...allegedly on our behalf. He sees it as a betrayal that we are taking Yute's "side" in this, and not supporting him, the loyal son. The whole prodigal son story comes to mind right now.

Suffice it to say, I am exhausted from trying to balance the two strong personalities that are Orin and Yute, and trying to be who they both need us to be, without betraying either one. All I can say is thank God for Melvin, who is truly the middle child...the mellow, go-with-the-flow, peacemaker. I hope he can help us though this tedious and tricky process.

Of course Melvin's life is not without strife. His mother treated his fiance and daughter very shabbily this Christmas, and he feels torn between the two, his own loyalties questioned. He is a good boy, and he doesn't want to let anyone down. Unfortunately, he also tends to be the bury your head in the sand kind of person, and I know he hopes this will just go away. It won't. He has to take a stand. Of course I am biased, and I cannot tell him what to do, or it will be my fault. It hurts to watch them struggle through these things and not be able to fix them. It is the hardest part of being a parent.

Of course another upside...my Trojans did win the Rose Bowl.

On the down side...my parent's left for home today.

And the holidays are over.

And tax season is coming.

Ups and downs galore. 2008 ended horribly. 2009 began with a pleasant surprise. I am trying remain dubiously hopeful.

Still, I am ready to get off this damned roller coaster. I need a more even tempoed ride. Maybe a train. Or an inner tube on a lake.

Here's hoping 2009 can improve on the previous model. Happy New Year to everyone!

*Egads! I used the word "whole" in my original post. That is why you proofread. Yet another resolution on which for me to work! Sorry, Dear Readers!

Devistation

2008-12-25T10:24:00.003-07:00

In the wee hours of Christmas morning, my cousin and frequent blog commenter, Lori, suffered a massive heart attack and passed away. She was only 42 years old.

I wish you all could have known her in real life. She was married to my cousin, but she was every bit part of our family. She was the life of every party, hilariously funny, intelligent, kind and completely beautiful inside and out. She was a wife, a mother, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister and a friend. We all loved her so.

Her marriage to my cousin has been such a great example to follow. After 20 plus years of marriage, they were still totally in love. I have no words to express the sorrow feel for Bob right now, or for her daughter and son who are only 22 and 16 respectively.

The last comment she made on this blog was on this post. She said "having grandkids is going to rock." I don't need to tell you how cruel it is that she will never know this joy...more cruel even than the timing of her passing, Christmas Day.

My heart is simply breaking.

I know we are not meant to understand these things, but the idea that the Lord woks in mysterious ways is empty comfort right about now, just as my words are empty comfort to those who love her. I feel so helpless in the face of such pain and tragedy.

This blog will not be the same without her. Our family will not be the same without her. The world will not be the same without her.

Rest in peace, beloved Lori.

Christmas Traditions

2008-12-22T15:11:00.002-07:00

This is the fourth year in a row that I have gotten sick the week before Christmas.

I've got to say, I am NOT digging this new tradition.

In case I don't get back on here this week...I hope you all have a Merry Christmas (or whatever winter holiday you celebrate). May you enjoy the warmth of family, food and fun, remembering all the reasons why we celebrate, yet still reveling in a visit from Santa Claus.

Anticipating Santa

2008-12-17T15:14:00.006-07:00

Nightfly has a post up about the great Santa debate, and he says it more perfectly than I ever could, so instead, I am going to share a few quotes from my almost-3-year-old granddaughter from the past few weeks as regards Santa. They are good for demonstrating that "abundant childhood wonder" to which Nightfly so eloquently refers.

#1 - I was standing outside in mid November, seeing the Puddin' Pop (PP) and her parents off one evening when I noticed PP looking up at the sky.

MM: "What 'cha lookin' at, PP?"

PP: "Santa's not up in the sky!"

MM: "No, PP. Not yet. It's too early."

PP: "Oh. Okay. I'll check later."

#2 - Thanksgiving day

PP: "Coma! Guess what? I saw Santa yesterday, and he was not up in the sky...he was at the mall!"

#3 - Last week I was yelling at our new dog (which I just realized I hadn't told you all about...so hey, we got a new dog...more on that later) to settle down.

MM: "Dingo! Stop it! Settle down!"

PP: "Dingo, Be good! Santa's watching you!"
#4 - Yesterday at the mall, PP was being a typical terrible two-year-old, and none of the usual warnings to "straighten up" were working. So my dad, who is visiting from the Midwest, takes her outside for awhile. He pulled out his cell phone and pretended to call Santa. When he "hung up" the phone, PP sticks out her bottom lip as says:
"I can't believe you did that, Poppy! Call him back and tell him I'm sorry!"

December Insanity

2008-12-15T09:32:00.003-07:00

I have not fallen off the planet. I have, however, been busier than I have ever before been in the month of December...and that's sayin' somethin'.

Last week I had to give an hour and a half presentation for a bunch of CPAs. Two hours before the presentation started, I found out the other presenter had hurt his back carrying a Christmas tree, and I had to pinch hit his portion of the presentation (for which I had not prepared). An hour and a half turned into a three hour presentation, and my calm turned into panic.

In addition to this presentation, since we last "spoke" I have attended one board meeting, a club meeting and four office meetings. I have prepared tax projections ad naseum for some clients, been involved in a cloak and dagger incident (I'll tell you later), and had to handle my regular work.

I have also attended two Christmas parties, one play (A Christmas Carol...of course), prepared my house for guests (my parents...who are now here), and spent a day at Disneyland with CO, the parents, kids and grandkids.

Notice I have not mentioned any shopping, baking, or other required holiday activities. 10 shopping days to go, and I am so screwed. Thank God Disneyland was part of their Christmas present, but I am still in big trouble.

And my Christmas tree still has no ornaments on it! Sheesh!

Needless to say, this is why I have not posted...or even read anyone else's blog for that matter. I'd say I'll do better this week, but with only 10 shopping days to go, that would be a big fat lie.

10! T-E-N! Holy crap! I have to go buy something. Or wrap something. Or bake something. Or decorate something.

Or something.

Stolen Monday Meme

2008-12-01T16:32:00.003-07:00

I've seen this here, and somewhere else too, but I can't remember where. Sorry if I left you off.

You are supposed to bold the items you have actually done. Of course, I had to add my own commentary (in italics) here and there.

Started my own blog - Self evident no?
Slept under the stars - In my backyard when I was a kid
Played in a band - I have no musical talent whatsoever
Visited Hawaii - Not yet
Watched a meteor shower
Given more than I can afford to charity
Been to Disneyland/world - Both! In fact, I am going to Disneyland next weekend! Woo hoo!
Climbed a mountain - Are you kidding? That would entail more effort than I care to expend.
Held a praying mantis - I've never even seen one in person
Sung a solo - In my car. I don't think that's what they meant.
Bungee jumped - Hell no!
Visited Paris - As long as I am married to CO, this will never happen.
Watched lightning at sea - Hmmmm. Maybe. I won't count it though.
Taught myself an art from scratch - Define art?
Adopted a child - Not formally or officially, but as the step-mother to three boys, I sort of did.
Had food poisoning - Twice! Unfortunately.
Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - Never been to New York either.
Grown my own vegetables - Hahaha!
Seen the Mona Lisa in France - Not likely. See Paris above.
Slept on an overnight train - Denver to Creston, Iowa
Had a pillow fight - yes but contrary to CO's overactive imagination, I never "accidentally" kissed my college roommate during one of these adventures.
Hitchhiked - Noooo! I was way too scared!
Taken a sick day when not ill
Built a snow fort
Held a lamb
Gone skinny dipping - No one wants to see that. Believe me.
Run a marathon - Are you kidding? WHY would I do that?
Ridden in a gondola in Venice - I guess I need to be more specific...I've never been to Europe at all.
Seen a total eclipse
Watched a sunrise or sunset
Hit a home run - I was a pitcher...not so much of a hitter. I always hit it to the 3rd baseman...always! I sucked!
Been on a cruise
Seen Niagara Falls in person - I've still bever been to New York
Visited the birthplace of my ancestors - or Europe
Seen an Amish community - But I have been to Pennsylvania and Iowa...the travel hot spots of the world
Taught myself a new language - Does piglatin count?
Had enough money to be truly satisfied - Does money make you truly satisfied?
Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - Since it is in Europe, I am going to say no.
Gone rock climbing - No! No mountains. No rocks. No climbing!
Seen Michelangelo's David - In a picture.
Sung karaoke - and very badly, I might add.
Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt - I've obviously never been anywhere...except Pennsylvania and Iowa
Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
Visited Africa - Guess what...never been! I know you're shocked.
Walked on a beach by moonlight
Been transported in an ambulance - Thank God, no!
Had my portrait painted - Ugh! My mom made me sit for THREE of them!
Gone deep sea fishing
Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - More with the Europe?
Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - What's this meme's fixation on Europe. Jeez! With one good vacation i could wipe out half this meme!
Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Gone to a drive-in theater - I used to love this! I wish they were still around!
Been in a movie - Uhm, home movies! And not THAT kind, so stop giggling!
Visited the Great Wall of China - Oh China this time? I've never been there either. Try again!
Started a business
Taken a martial arts class - But I could still kick your ass. You wanna step outside?
Visited Russia - Another fail!
Served at a soup kitchen
Sold Girl Scout Cookies
Gone whale watching - Does Sea World count? I didn't think so.
Gotten flowers for no reason - There is always a reason...my CO is awesome!
Donated blood, platelets or plasma
Gone sky diving - Again...Hell no!
Visited a Nazi concentration camp
Bounced a check - Unfortunately
Flown in a helicopter
Saved a favorite childhood toy - You mean like the stiffed dog named Rags who is at this very minute in my bedroom at home? Like that?
Visited the Lincoln Memorial - Ha! Gotcha! I HAVE been to D.C.! Surprise, surprise!
Eaten caviar - Ewwww! No!
Pieced a quilt - But I'd love to!
Stood in Times Square - I still haven't been to New York.
Toured the Everglades - While I HAVE been to Florida, we did not visit the Everglades. I don;t think. If we did, I don't remember it.
Been fired from a job - Never! Thankfully!
Seen the Changing of the Guard in London - I grow tired of these travel questions designed to make me feel lame!
Broken a bone - But only fractures...and only little bones, so maybe I shoudln't count this one.
Been on a speeding motorcycle - Not even on a stationary motorcycle!
Seen the Grand Canyon in person - I have no excuse for this one. I have lived with a day's drive my entire life, and have still never been. See, I AM LAME!
Published a book - Oh I wish!
Visited the Vatican - Still lame!
Bought a brand new car - Three times!
Walked in Jerusalem - L.A.M.E. Lame!
Had my picture in the newspaper - Yes! Hahaha! I need to find that clip! I was sitting outside the academy awards with a sign. I can't tell you what it said. I need to show you for full effect.
Read the entire Bible - I've had it read to me, but I've not read it myself.
Visited the White House - "We're walking. We're walking. We're stopping." Name that movie!
Killed and prepared an animal for eating - "That is why God inveted the A&P." Name THAT movie!
Had chickenpox - NO! Can you believe that? I am the only person I know who has never had it.
Saved someone's life - Only in the completely metaphorical sense.
Sat on a jury - Yes! It was hideous! As an accountant, I am a rational thinker and I just have no patience for people whose only logic is "just because I think so."
Met someone famous - When I was like 8 I got Tony Danza's autograph. I didn't exactly meet him though. But it was the 70's and I thought he was hot! Stop laughing...I was 8!
Joined a book club - But it was all about the having dinner and catching up with friends. Eventually, we jettisoned the books.
Lost a loved one - I love you, Grandma.
Had a baby
Seen the Alamo in person - No...but I remember it.
Swam in the Great Salt Lake - The only time I've ever been near it, is when I flew over it. Frnakly, I'm glad the plane stayed in the air and spared me that swim.
Been involved in a law suit - And let's keep it that way!
Owned a cell phone - Can't you hear my awesome ring tone now?
Been stung by a bee - Three times!
Ridden an elephant
Read all three volumes of the Lord of the Rings - But I've read all the Harry Potter books
Visited the Taj Mahal - I am so done with these travel questions.
Performed in a dance recital - No, but that would have been comedy for anyone watching!
Been on horseback while the horse jumped over something
Won an athletic competition - I wasn't always this lazy. I was a starter on a basketball team that went undefeated three years running. Oh, and I had the best pitching record (girls' fast-pitch softball) in the state of Nevada my junior year of high school. I know...that's not really a competition, but I still felt the need to brag.
Gotten a straight-A report card - More bragging. How obnoxious!
Prayed to Zeus - Just about everyone else...but not Zeus. Maybe I should try that.
Watched news coverage, rapt, to see what was going to happen - 9/11 comes to mind
Gotten lost in a building more than 500 years old - As you undoubtedly know by now, I have barely been out of the U.S. There are no buildings even near that old anywhere I've been. Except maybe some pueblos. But they don't let you actually get in them. Besides, they are pretty small, and hard to get lost in.
Kissed somebody milliseconds before bells started to ring - Perhaps metaphorical alram bells!

I haven't done much, apparently. Now that I am depressed beyond words at the failure that is my life, I guess I will sign off.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T11:41:00.001-07:00

...to everyone!

Be thankful...be happy...be stuffed!

The Mullet is Not Dead...It's at the NHRA Races

2008-11-19T18:02:00.024-07:00

This is much later than promised, but finally my vacation post.

SNARK ALERT: If anyone is going to be offended by trailer park or redneck references or other such snark, I suggest you skip reading this post.

If you are still reading...don't balme me!

Every year in October we go to the NHRA races in Las Vegas. We camp and hang out and watch the races. It is a great little get away. I'm not as good with the camera as most of you all, but here are a few photos to set the stage.

If you have never been to the NHRA races, let me tell you they are teh awesome! That feeling you get deep in your stomach when a 7,000 horsepower engine blasts off. The unique smell of "top fuel" nitro that burns your eyes and nose so pleasantly. The beer. The fair food. The cute little drivers in their fire suits.

Speaking of which...may I present my NHRA boyfriend, Larry Dixon?

Okay, well his car anyway. Believe me, he's just as adorable out of the car. Almost. CO knows all about this, by the way, and he's fine with it. He likes the car, you see. Besides, my NHRA boyfriend made me love going to the races, so CO will live with that. Also, he has an NHRA girlfriend, Melanie Troxel. Funny, but I have no pictures of her. Go figure.

Another great thing about this trip...due to the proximity of the Las Vegas track to Nellis Air Force base, you get treated to a free air show in addition to the fast cars.

It is a great bonus...except when the whole flippin' fleet takes off at dawn. Between the planes and the cars, this isn't so much a restful vacation.

But even with all that wonder, the very best part of the races just might be the people watching. See, for a fast sport, things can move rather slowly if there is an oil down on the track or something. You have to learn to entertain yourself during the lulls in the action. But if you're a people watcher, there is entertainment aplenty.

Entire trailer parks empty out for an NHRA event. It is a place of Van Halen* concert t-shirts, ribbed, white, Wal-mart brand tank tops, tattoos and...mullets. If you thought the mullet was dead, you just haven't been to an NHRA race recently.

During one particularly long stretch of track maintenance, I pulled out my camera, and began randomly snapping photos. CO asked what I was doing. I quietly told him I was playing "I Spy a Mullet." He began to play, too. These gems weren't hard to spot, seeing as how they were sitting in the row in front of us:

The second one was subtle...he just wasn't embracing it like the first guy...but in my book, still a mullet. And the fun does not stop here. Oh no! There were more. So many more.

I'm not sure this is technically a mullet, but Dude...seriously.

This next one certainly qualifies, however. The ponytail kind of blends in, but focus on the dude in the yellow baseball cap, and I think you'll agree.

Oh, and this guy is livin' the life.

But wait...there's more!

You may need to zoom on this one. Long-sleeved grey t-shirt in the middle there. Yeah...that's a good one!

So there you have it...my mullet collection. All of these shots were taken in the span of an hour or so, and there were even more...believe me! But either I was not quick enough to snap a photo, or the subject was moving and the shot came out blurry, or I was too far away. Still, I think it is a fine collection, if I do say so myself.

I did manage to snap two other folks that amused me, as well. First, this guy:

He's kind of hard to see, but he's the one near the center with the short shorts, shaved legs, no socks and black dress shoes. Yes, you heard me those are black dress shoes! What the fuck is up with that?

And this one...this was the photo CO wanted me to take. I think he was a bit smitten with her.

CO said it was going to get a bit lost in translation, because the photo is not picking up her black bra underneath that white tank top there, and you cannot see her boyfriend's long pony tail (the mullet that got away), but you do get a shot of the cig, the tribal arm band tat, and the gut hanging over the belt.

Ahhh, the NHRA. You gotta love it.

Yes, of course I DO relaize we were there too. And for those of you with long memories, you might recall this post in which I admitted to some decidedly redneck behavior well worthy of any of these fine, mullet-sporting folks. What does that say about us? Frankly, I am certain that somewhere, my photo resides on a blog-full-o'-snark, and I simply remain blissfully ignorant.

I'm sure any snark thrown my way would be well deserved.

Oh, and while CO and I were there over Halloween, we decided NOT to wear our costumes (picture previously posted, but since deleted). We were pretty sure no one would get it.

*And yes, I like Van Halen. But still...

Joel Is The BEST!!

2008-11-18T12:02:00.005-07:00

Let me say it again...Joel is teh awesome!

Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

On last Friday's Fuck Off Thread (FFOT), I proclaimed a hearty fuck off to the guy who was harassing my parents...a collection agent masquerading as an attorney. Many of you rallied to my support, threatening A Team tactics and all sorts of misery on this scum-sucking bastard. I can't tell you how much that support meant to me from all of you.

Then Joel took it one step further. He used his skills and knowledge to sniff out all kinds of useful information on this guy, this law firm, and various legal ramifications my parents can pursue.

Just last week, I was considering ending this blog. All of the political blogging wore me down, and I just wasn't feeling it. I forgot for a moment why this hobby is so valuable. It is the connections with other people that make this worthwhile.

Believe me...I'm feeling it now. I remember now.

So in case I don't tell you all enough, thank you! I am glad you are all here...a part of my life in a strange but important way. Even when we don't agree, I still learn valuable things from you, and frankly, I would miss you if you were gone. All of you.

Thanks again...especially you, Joel.

Veterans Day

2008-11-11T10:26:00.005-07:00

Thank you to all those who have served this country, kept us safe, and made it a place where we can live free...even when that means doing incredibly stupid things.

I would like to especially honor some of my favorite men who are veterans...my daddy, my grandpa, my Uncle Jim, my cousin Dennis (who earned three purple hearts in Vietnam, and is still the most decorated soldier in his little corner of the world), my cousins Bill and Phil, my Uncle Tommy, my car club friends (Darwin, Ken, Ray, Ed, Norberto), my office partner, Tom, my dear friend's hubby, Doug, and my blog friend Cullen.*

You guys are made of awesome (to steal a quote from Nightfly)! Thanks just isn't enough for all of your sacrifices for this country.

*If I missed anyone...I am sorry. PLEASE let me know, because the oversight was not intentional.

Ugh!

2008-11-07T18:22:00.005-07:00

I just spent three whole days interviewing interns. If I have to hear one more person tell me their greatest strength, I may have to stab them with my pencil. Seriously. No more.

But the upside of all this torture is that a) it is much better to be on my side of the table than theirs, and b) we had one crazy guy that, of course, I must share with you.

First, he had an odd facial tick that made him look like the Joker of Batman fame.

While I felt sincerely bad for him, it gave me the creeps. Shudder.

Then there was this...

Interview 101...or things NOT to say during an interview:

1) My mom was real happy I got this interview.

2) My mom thought I should become an accountant because she has done her own taxes before, so that is how I decided to become an accounting major.

3) (Delivered in a monotone, with absolutely no affectation whatsoever) My mom says my greatest strength is my outgoing personality.

4) My experience in customer service taught me how to deal with difficult people. Sometimes customers can be angry or unhappy, and I learned that the best thing to do is just hang up on them until they cool down.

Mmmm kaaaaaaaay. Thanks so much for taking the time to come by and speak with us today. We will be in touch.

Home

2008-11-04T14:48:00.002-07:00

I am back from vacation. I have a post mentally prepared about it, that I will post sometime this week. It is full of snark and pictures, so prepare yourselves.

For today, I just wanted to remind everyone to go vote. No matter who you are voting for, make yourself heard. It is the only way the system works.

And no matter what happens today, each of us should remember that America may not be perfect, but it is still the greatest country in the world. And it will remain so, regardless of the outcome of this election.

Yay, America!

Random Ponderings

2008-10-27T16:44:00.004-06:00

CO and I leave begin our vacation tomorrow, so posting will be nil this next week. Before I leave, I thought I'd jot down a few random thoughts.

1) My husband is awesome. Seriously. Now and then with the flow of one day after another and all of life's little messy details, well, it's not that I forget this fact, but it sometimes gets obscured...side-stepped...taken for granted.

But then CO will do something so completely wonderful that the day-to-day bullshit becomes obscured, and all I can see is the tremendous amount of awesome that is my CO. It is usually not some grand gesture, but some teeny-tiny little thing that just reminds me of who he is, and why I love him.

I am doing a bad job of explaining this, but I wanted to at least write it down for myself, so that I might never forget what a lucky girl I am.

2) Melvin, my beloved middle son, is waxing political lately. It is so odd to be having these adult conversations with him. I know he is a father, but sometimes in my mind he is still a boy.

But what is even more shocking than having the conversations, is the thread of them. His political views are vastly different from mine...and even more extreme than his father's (who's are also pretty different from mine). I truly appreciate him learning and growing and developing his own opinions. I think more people should educate themselves on the issues, rather than just doing what their parents did. But at the same time, it is bizarre to think I helped raise this child. How could I have had such little impact on him? Who is this...man? I am all at once proud of him, and confounded by him.

Yet another reason I will be glad when this election is over!

3) CO and I went to a Halloween party Saturday night. Pictures to come...maybe. Our costumes were hideous...frightening beyond all measure. The flat baby accompanied us, and spent the night with us all by herself for the first time. She slept between us, and cuddled her tiny little body right next to me all night. In the morning she rubbed her big brown eyes and greeted us with "Hi Papa. Hi Comma." It was the very best thing ever. I never knew Grand-parenthood would be so flippin' great. It makes every single thing we went through with those boys worth it.

4) I spent Sunday with my in-laws, and still I am grateful for their forgiveness. I shouldn't continue to harp on this subject, but I cannot help it. When I was last visiting my parents, my mom told me I wasn't a very forgiving person. She is right. Traditionally, I have not been very good at this. But I am trying to learn something from my in-laws...people I once thought were my cross to bear. I was wrong. I think they were a gift instead. They were meant to teach me to be a better person in this way. I hope this is a lesson I can learn.

5) Speaking of forgiveness, tonight I have a board meeting that will prove to be difficult. Several of the board members are calling for the executive director's resignation. I am pretty new to this board, and don't quite know what to think. The man has served as E.D. for 23 years. 23 years!! This year, he made a mistake...a BIG one. Really big. Huge. TWO mistakes, actually...mistakes that could potentially cost the organization its very existence, and more than one person their job.

But should these two mistakes negate 23 years of dedicated service?

I find myself thinking of my dad, who served his employer faithfully for 12 years, only to be hung out to dry after a single mistake (albeit one much less huge that the E.D. in question, but...). Now he is in what should be the twilight of his career, and he can't find employment. He has been off work for over 6 months, and my parents are in grave danger of losing what they worked a lifetime to achieve. Is this fair?

Am I confusing two completely unrelated issues? What IS the right answer?

Thanks for putting up with my pondering. If you have any insight, especially on issue number 5 here, please share. Otherwise, I'll see you next week...on election day, after what is hopefully a restful, and much needed vacation. I'm going to need it just to deal with election day!

And Under More News

2008-10-15T16:05:00.002-06:00

...Melvin's girlfriend is pregnant. I am going to be a grandma for the third time.

While this isn't nearly as traumatic as the last time we found out Melvin's girlfriend was pregnant (many of you remember the "Flat Baby" story), there is still plenty to be upset about.

And plenty to be happy about as well.

I think this time, we will focus on the happy. It will make a nice change.

For the Love and Hate of October...Random Thoughts

2008-10-15T14:59:00.003-06:00

October is the culmination of love and hate for me.

The first half is unfailingly busy, marking the official end of the 2007 tax filing season. Many people do no know that extended corporate returns are due September 15th, and extended partnership and individual returns are due October 15th. So while we breathe a huge sigh of relief in April...it isn't really over until October. And that October deadline hits hard...so I hate it.

But once October 15th passes, things at work calm way down, coming to an almost screeching halt. The second half of October is time for cleaning out desk drawers, reviewing and revamping…a nice break in an otherwise blistering pace. Of course October also means autumn, football, Halloween, the World Series and our annual camping weekend at the NHRA races in Las Vegas...all things I love.

Then too, in my neck of the woods, every thing is on fire in October, making the very air around you thick with smoke, ash and anxiety.

Unfortunately this year, we can add that the anxiety of an economic crisis and all things political. Politics in general make me feel stupid. I read things. I hear things. I discuss things. And I wonder how other people, people I know to be very intelligent, can come away from the same things feeling so vastly different. I assume it must be me. I am missing something here. So I read and I listen and I discuss, and still I end up scratching my head. I don't like feeling stupid. And this year in particular, well, I am really am starting to hate this election.

The extremists on both sides are creating a truly frightening turmoil...worse than I have ever seen. If one of these candidates does not get assassinated, it will be a miracle. You've got one side playing a dangerous card by calling a black man with a strange name a terrorist and playing on people's fears of things that are different. On the flip side, painting a successful woman as an airhead, and a bad parent to boot, simply because she is, in fact, a working mother is also incredibly unfair. No one would be questioning her parenting skills if she were a man with five children. Both sides can try to spin this however they like, but this smacks of 1960's racism and sexism to me.

I get these e-mails that are crazy, illogical and flat out wrong in their factuality. The sad thing is, millions of people are getting these e-mails, and believing them. Who is out there telling these people the truth, and letting them make a decision based on fact instead of fiction? I have nothing but respect for another person's opinion, provided that it is based in some kind of logical fact, and not "I think Sarah Palin is an idiot because she doesn't pronounce the 'g' on the end of an active verb," or "I think Obama must have accepted money from terrorists because he had no other way to pay for a Harvard education." Yeah, it's called an accent, and it doesn't make you stupid. None of my family in the Mid West pronounces the "g", and they are far from idiotic. Oh, and there exist too little things...one us smart kids called "scholarships," and another us poor kids called "student loans." If you were lucky enough to be smart and poor, like yours truly, you got some of both.

But no one hears these logical explanations. They only hear the radical ones...and they believe them. Logical explanations are too mundane. The extremism is much more glamorous. Each side is so damned concerned with winning, they could care less about the truth. So nobody wins. Least of all America...and I really hate that.

Land of the Free

2008-10-08T11:16:00.004-06:00

I know I wasn't going to wax political on this blog, but I received two of the most obnoxious e-mails in the past week, and I just have to...HAVE TO rant about them. I cannot contain the rant.

Hence begins the first rant.

The first e-mail was one warning me that the Book of Revelations defines the anti-Christ as, in this individual's opinion, Obama. Now I am no fan of either candidate. That is the one political statement I am confident in making. I don't like either one of them. But the anti-Christ? Uhm, no. That is a bit much.

But that isn't even the good part of the e-mail. The e-mail goes on to say the following:

Dear friends, as I was listening to a news program last night, I watched in horror as Barack Obama made the statement with pride. . .'we are no longer a Christian nation; we are now a nation of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, . . . As with so many other statements I've heard him (and his wife) make, I never thought I'd see the day that I'd hear something like that from a presidential candidate in this nation. To think our forefathers fought and died for the right for our nation to be a Christian nation--and to have this man say with pride that we are no longer that.

First off, while we may be a predominantly Christian nation, there are many others in this country who do not adhere to Christianity. Obama's words did not make it so. It just is. If you didn't know that before, you need to crawl out from under that rock once in awhile.

But my favorite sentence..."To think our forefathers fought and died for the right for our nation to be a Christian nation."

Try reading a history book along with that Bible, Jack. Have you actually read the Bill of Rights? Do you know what it really says? Let me help you out here. The first amendment says:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The word Christianity is no where indicated in that statement. While yes, the founding fathers were predominantly Christian, they were not all Christian. Thomas Jefferson was a Deist, and a strong opponent of organized religion, having authored the following in a correspondence to John Adams:

The whole history of these books [The Gospels] is so defective and doubtful that it seems vain to attempt minute enquiry into it: and such tricks have been played with their text, and with the texts of other books relating to them, that we have a right, from that cause, to entertain much doubt what parts of them are genuine.

Likewise, George Washington, John Adams and Benjamin Franklin are credited with speeches and writings that opposed organized church doctrine.

My point is, it is no accident that the word Christianity does not appear in the first amendment. Our forefathers were not trying to create a Christian nation. In fact, they were fleeing a Christian nation...a nation that held to one Christian doctrine only, and did not allow for variant religious practices, even other forms of Christianity. They were strictly opposed to a national religion, and were trying to create a nation that allowed all individuals the right to practice, or not, as they saw fit.

The freedom of religion does not in any way equate to the freedom to practice Christianity only.

To believe it is shameful to say that we are a nation where all can practice freely, whether we are Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Wiccans, Buddhists, Deists or what have you, you are in the wrong country, Jack.

This is America...Land of the Free. That is what our forefathers fought and died for.

The Horrifying Stereotype Test

2008-10-06T12:19:00.001-06:00

Your result for The Horrifying Stereotype Test...

Sports Dick

You Are What You Are

Why can't you understand that the accomplishments of your state's sports teams have absolutely nothing to do with you? No matter whether your favorite team wins or loses, you're still a loser.

Take The Horrifying Stereotype Test at HelloQuizzy

Hahahah! I assume it would do me no good to deny this.

VP Debate Drinking Game

2008-10-02T20:25:00.001-06:00

Of course I am listening to this while I am at work, but if I were home and so inclined...the buzz word would be "maverick."

Phew! I'd be hammered!

Update

2008-10-01T20:59:00.003-06:00

My grandson is doing MUCH better. He is out of the hospital, and on the mend. He had some sort of lung virus that apparently is common to premie babies, and it can be fatal if not treated. So thank goodness he has nervous new parents who rushed him right to the hospital where he needed to be.

Anyway...thanks so much for all your concern, prayers, and well wishes. My blog friends are awesome! I really appreciate you all!

Sick Baby

2008-09-29T09:47:00.003-06:00

My posting will taper off this week while I try to juggle a big deadline at work, and my sick grandson.

Our new little baby is in the hospital, and they don't know what is wrong with him. The poor guy has been stuck in every place imaginable.

So those of you inclined to pray, please say one for our little guy. The rest of you just keep positive thoughts for him. I truly appreciate it...and all of you.

I DON'T Want to Talk About It!

2008-09-26T09:47:00.003-06:00

I know what you're thinking, and I don't want to talk about it.

I love Trojan Football. And like anything you love, it has the ability to hurt you...deeply. Last night during the game, I developed actual hives on my forearm. I am not kidding. Today, I have a stomach ache. It isn't as bad as the one I had after this game, but still.

Then I have to come to work today and endure the torture of everyone in the freaking office parading by my door with their hideous cackles of laughter over my team's demise, and for my part, I have to smile and pretend I find this all very funny.

I don't.

To quote my college roommate, who called me at half-time last night, "This isn't fucking funny!"

No. It isn't.

But I can't say this at work, or I am labeled a bitch. And if I try to explain how these fringe haters don't understand, because they didn't go to USC, and thus could never possibly understand the level of intensity, devotion and emotional investment I have in this football team...well then I am labeled a crazy bitch.

Maybe I am. See I love Trojan football, but I do not like it. I have completely lost the joy in victory...for it is expected, but the agony of defeat...that one I totally get. While I still love Pete Carroll, I am very disappointed in him. Did this team learn nothing two years ago when OSU did this very same thing to them? Seriously? NOTHING?

I think I have developed an ulcer. I need to lie down.

Living the Life

2008-09-22T09:54:00.004-06:00

CO and I spent our weekend at a car show. Not unusual or noteworthy in and of itself, but then, a car pulls up near us, and that is where the story begins.

It was a white, 1980's kit car of some sort (I am not the car aficionado, and I don't recall CO saying anything but "kit car" when asked what it was). Anyway, there were no doors. The roof lifts up in some weird spaceshippy way to allow access in and out of the car. So up goes the roof, and this guy steps out.

He had a full blown mullet, adorned with a black and white checkered bandanna around his forehead. He wore a single long earring, a muscle shirt with a faded band logo on it, and acid-washed jeans. He had leather driving gloves with the fingers cut out on his hands, and a leather wrist band with silver spikes. He wore black high top tennis shoes of some sort...not Converse, but something I have not seen on feet since high school, that I am sure they don't make any more. The kind with padding around the ankles for comfort.

The car seats were covered in balck and white leopard print fabric, and there was a matching steering wheel cover.

I could kick myself for not taking pictures. You really had to see it to appreciate it. I was too mesmerized by the scene to even reach for the camera. Besides, I was too busy straining to hear if the Miami Vice Theme was issuing from the car, a la The Wedding Singer. It wasn't, but it really should have been. It would have made the moment perfect.

The sad thing was, I got the distinct impression that this was not a costume, but a lifestyle. There was the mullet, you see. I mean you can't just grow a mullet for a weekend. It has to be planned in advance...with intent and purpose.

Soon...too soon really, for I was not done giggling, the dude gets back in his car, and pulls back onto the cruise route, cutting off another car, and about taking him out in the process. The roof lifts up just a tiny bit, and I see the guy's passenger, presumably his wife, holding up a sign facing backwards to the car they just rudely cut off, reading "Let Me In." She then flips it over so that it reads "Thanks," and they zoom off.

Me: "If you start dressing like that, I am not coming to any more car shows. And I am certainly not holding up signs that say 'Let Me In' and 'Thanks.' There is supporting your spouse and then..."

CO: "...and then there is enabling your spouse."

Me: "Exactly."

Rest in Peace, Brave Girl

2008-09-19T14:23:00.002-06:00

A tribute to an acquaintance of mine who lost her long battle with MS this week. Her name was Kristi, and she was only 38 years old.

Two months ago she made the agonizing decision to discontinue treatment for an infection that had raged through her body for over a year...a decision made all the more agonizing by the fact of her 13 year old daughter.

Still, in the end, she did it for her daughter, even more than herself, I think. Her own parents were raising her daughter anyway, and while living without your mother at that tender age is difficult, visiting her in a long-term care facility, watching her suffer, waiting for her to die is much more so.

I am thankful that Kristi's long, painful struggle is over, and I am glad it is over for those who loved her as well. Rest in peace, brave girl.

Embracing Your Inner Exhibitionist

2008-09-16T14:48:00.003-06:00

Okay, I have a very important survey to conduct here. It is hugely important, and potentially life-altering. Ready? Ladies...panties under the pantyhose, or are you commando under there?

The reason I am asking? Well, uhm, earlier today, I visited the ladies' room, and my panties broke. They broke! The strap on the right side just snapped like a dry little twig. I spent a few minutes trying to figure out how to make them work without the strap, but in the end I had to, uhm, remove them, and throw them in the trash can, buried under several layers of paper towels that I threw in there to hide them. Why I felt the need to do this, I do not know. I didn't want anyone looking in the trash and wondering, I guess. I mean, I would wonder if I looked in the trash can at work and saw some one's panties. Wouldn't you?

Anyway, I still have the pantyhose, thank God, and they had the little cotton thingy which indicates you can choose to wear them without the panties underneath, but this isn't something I commonly do, and I gotta say...I feel creepy.

This is almost as bad as...oh, I was searching for a link to an old blog I wrote, but it must have been posted on the former blog site. I guess one day soon I will have to recreate my most embarrassing blunders for your amusement. For those of you who read the old blog, and read that post...yeah, almost as creepy as that time.

So does anyone out there skip the panties as a general practice? Like you're going to admit it now, right? No, seriously, I suppose I could see the benefits...less laundry, no visible pantylines, and it is somewhat cooler (temperature-wise). But how do you get past the exposed feeling?

Or maybe you like that exposed feeling? Is that it? Do I have to embrace my inner exhibitionist? Do I have to welcome this as my own private dirty secret? What?

Help me here, people! Clearly, I need it. I am not well. I am not well at all.

The Soundtrack of My Life - Track 23

2008-09-16T14:10:00.003-06:00

December 1963 (Oh What a Night) - The Four Seasons
Strictly from a song standpoint, this song is not even my favorite by the Four Seasons...that would be Let's Hang On. So how then, did it end up on my 101 list, while the later did not?

Four twenty-something friends, Amy, Lindy, Lori and yours truly, having a girls night in sans boyfriends, with plenty of alcohol to go around, playing a game called Songburst...a board game predecessor to Don't forget the Lyrics. The very nature of the game dictated that plenty of songs were sung that night, but this is the one that sticks in my head.

"As I remember, what a night."

I wonder where those girls are today? We were one time coworkers, confidantes, comrades, but eventually we all fell in love, got married, changed jobs, had babies, moved on...and sadly, lost touch.

These were great girls with whom to share those precious years when, unlike the lean college years, we had a little more money, if a little more responsibility. We worked hard, but still, we had fun! Concerts, parties, happy hours, fancy dinners, weekend adventures.

Some people never get that time in their life...they start a family too soon, or a career too late. I am so lucky to have had the opportunities I had. And lucky, too, to have shared it with these girls.

Monday Morning Sports Report

2008-09-15T12:12:00.003-06:00

This time of year, my weekends are primarily spent in front of the big screen watching sports. Mostly football, with some baseball and NHRA thrown in for good measure. I know to many people, this is a waste of precious life. To me, this is life. In my family, the years are measured not in A.D., but in their relation to our various teams' performances. For example, "That was the year the Broncos won their first Superbowl" or "The year that USC won the National Championship." Of course there are other years too...the one's that we speak of only in hushed tones while shaking our heads in dispair, but we try not to speak of those too often.

Whenever anyone asks me what my dream job would be, my answer is always the same...I would be a sports journalist. I don't know that I'd be very good at it, but that wasn't the question was it? Imagine traveling around and watching sports for a living! Bliss, I tell you!

But I'm not a sports journalist, so I have to play one on my blog. Here are some thoughts I had this week:

1) First, my beloved Trojans...they are teh awesome. There is just nothing else to say, except, I love Pete Carroll. The man is off the hook. In his tenure at USC, his teams have a +104 in turnovers, and that is just one of many fine statistics his teams possess. I seriously love him. Seriously.

2) Ohio State...you have once again been exposed for what you are, or more accurately, for what you are not. Can the OSU fans please, please, please shut it already? You're done. It's over. You are not as good as you think you are. Just shut it!

3) New England fans...yes, Tom Brady is hurt. Yes, this is a bummer for you, but it is not a national tragedy. No, it was not a dirty hit. This is football, not chess. People get hurt. It happens. That doesn't make it rife with intent. So let's banish these conspiracy theories to the political realm where they belong.

4) Tony Schumacher...so sick of him. Seriously SICK of him. Furthermore, I cannot believe this guy can be so much better than everyone else in his class all the friggin' time without some, uhm, artificial assistance. Something is amiss. I call shenanigans! By the way this conspiracy theory is okay. Sports fans are nothing if not hypocritical.

5) UCLA...well, yes they suck. I am an SC fan, so that is just a fact of life IMHO. However, do they suck that bad...59 to 0 bad? Or did the traitor Norm Chow have anything to do with making sure his beloved BYU stays strong in the rankings? Just a thought. I don't really care either way. UCLA will still suck, and Norm Chow will still be a traitor no matter what.

6) Okay, I have mentioned I am a Denver Bronco fan...so I obviously must address The Call. Or I guess I should say the calls plural. Yes, they were terrible calls...result-making, game-changing calls. I will not dispute that. It happened. It sucks for you Charger fans out there. It really does. I even honestly feel kind of bad for you. I do! However, might I suggest that this was just a case of bad karma coming to call on Phillip Rivers after his abhorrent display of poor sportsmanship against Jay Cutler last year, and nothing more?

And for the record, I also agree that the NFL needs to hold the refs to a higher level of accountability for these types of errors. But the San Diego player who spoke out saying something like "When we fuck up, we get fired" uhm, no you don't. Players drop passes, throw interceptions and miss tackles all the flippin' time. You don't get fired! Let's dial down the drama just a tad, shall we? You have a right to be upset, but not irrational. Only I get to be irrational. Do you see how this works?

7) Speaking of the Broncos...does Mike Shanahan have big ol' brass ones or what? I loved that call for the two-point conversion! I would have loved it even if they had missed it. This is what sports are all about...no guts, no glory!

Nutty Goodness

2008-09-12T12:46:00.002-06:00

You Are A Peanut

You are popular, even with people who tend to have picky taste.
Kids love you, as do dogs. From rednecks to snobs, most people have a place for you in their hearts.
As popular as you are, there are some people who can't be near you.
Don't take it too personally. There's just a few people you rub the wrong way.

What Nut Are You?

Actually, that sounds fairly accurate. Especially the "there are just some people who can't be near you" part.

I do love me some peanut butter. Does that make me a cannibal?

Remembering

2008-09-12T10:32:00.003-06:00

I missed posting yesterday due to a deadline at work, but at no part of the day, was the day itself far from my thoughts. Seven years ago, and yet so vivid, so sharp in memory. The pain just beneath the surface.

A employee of the firm said yesterday that he didn't get what the big deal was. He really didn't care about September 11th when it happened, much less seven years later, and he thought the whole thing was overblown.

Rarely have I been so shocked and horrified. I have lost any respect I once had for this individual. What kind of a person could possibly feel this way?

I have no words.

In My Next Life

2008-09-10T12:07:00.003-06:00

Your result for Reincarnation Placement Exam...

Gypsy Camp

57% Intrigue, 39% Civilization, 62% Humanity, 50% Crowded, 21% Busy.

You sing! You dance! You flee from the authorities!

You were a bit difficult to place, because you like civilization and humanity -- but when it comes to work, you don't really fit into the system, the ruts and the rituals, that modern civilization embraces. You like your own ways... your old ways.

We've placed you among a hardy Gypsy family. They'll have you plucking a violin before you can talk, and dancing before you can walk. The road is your home, and your horses are members of your family. You get to wear lots of shiny things.

We expect that you'll have a good life. Even if your people are surrounded by a world where they don't really fit in, they have each other, an oasis of compatibility in an unbalanced world. We know you'll make the most of it!

Take Reincarnation Placement Exam at HelloQuizzy

Thanks to Chalice Chick and Joel for the link.

Blogs and Politics

2008-09-04T14:31:00.002-06:00

I'm having such a hard time with all this election and political stuff. First off because I truly dislike both candidates. Second, because the whack-jobs on both sides of the aisle are just obnoxious and out of line. Third, because I am reading my favorite bloggers, and I am reminded that while I adore their life stories, their humor, their insights on family, work, American Idol...the important things in life, we are very far apart politically. It makes me fear losing those connections should I dare to comment or to post a political thought of my own.

From here on out, I am going to try and stay away from political blogging in general...try not to either read or write them.

But before that self-imposed ban, I will say that I think both of the V.P. candidates are much more fabulous than the Presidential candidates themselves. Although Palin is way too "Christian Right" for me personally, I admire her as a successful woman, and while I don't care for career politicians in general, I love that Biden has refused to comment on Palin's family (so far anyway), and has called out his own supporters for questioning her ability to be V.P. while taking care of her children by saying, like all the other working mothers in America, she can handle it.

I wish, just once, a politician would stand up and refuse to mud-sling. To just say why he or she is a good candidate for the job, based on their own experience and values, and not feel the need to degrade their opponent in the process. I would have so much more respect for the lot of them. Sadly, it seems this may never be possible.

That is all I have to say on the whole political thing. I will try to keep my own counsel from here on out, and in the process, keep my blog buddies. If we can't respect one another's differences, and right to varied points of view, I guess that won't happen.

Of course, if we can't respect one another, the buddies aren't worth having in the first place.

T.G.I.F.

2008-09-03T10:02:00.004-06:00

I know it's not Friday, Silly! That isn't what TGIF means...not to me...not in September.

T.G.I.F. Thank God it's Football! Football! Glorious football! It was a long, cold, lonely off-season, and I have missed you so.

And right out of the gates, I get a delicious surprise. After week 1 in college football, both the AP and Coach's polls read as follows:

1) USC
2) Georgia
3) Ohio State
4) Oklahoma
5) Florida

USC jumped 2 spots from their 3rd spot in the preseason poll. The explanatory article, USC’s reward: Top spot in Top 25, goes on to say:

“There’s a bit of a growing backlash for the amount of teams that open with I-AA cupcakes,” said Mandel. “To see a team (USC) go on the road and play a New Year’s Day bowl team from last season, and not only play them but destroy them, how could you not reward that team?”

Amen, Brutha! Oh, and this quote from Pete Carol:

“We realize that rankings so early in a season are certainly fluid. But rankings do help establish a pecking order for things later in the season...As for moving into the No. 1 spot, it’s nice to know that people think highly of our team.”

I must say right now, I love Pete Carroll. I love him with a devotion seldom known. He is never pompous, never braggy, never obnoxious. He always compliments his players, and the other teams' players and coaches. He is 100% class 100% of the time.

If I were to ever have more kids, I would name them all Pete Carroll. In fact, if we weren't both happily married, I'd have his kids and name them all Pete Carroll. This is how much I love me some Pete Carroll.

So T.G.I.F. and while you're at it, thank God for Pete Carroll.

The Soundtrack of My Life - Tracks 21 - 22

2008-09-02T14:46:00.005-06:00

I haven't done a music entry in awhile, and I've been thinking about the power of music lately. I thought I'd combine all of these thoughts with a selection from my 101 Songs List.

I was reading a novel in which the author said something about music and smells being the strongest memory triggers.

I think this is true. When I was driving home from my conference little over a week ago, I was listening to my iPod, and several songs evoked strong memories of people or places. I felt transported back in time for a few moments. Nothing like a long drive alone to ponder and reflect.

So my selection today is based upon that premise. I have picked the two songs on my 101 list that most remind me of my first love, whom I briefly mentioned in association with another song, but these are the two that really bring him to mind:

Living in Sin (Bon Jovi)
It was the late 80's. I loved Bon Jovi. Then this song came out, and my roommate told me it reminded her of me and R. I remember thinking she was so right on.

Now before I reminisce too much, let me say that I love my CO very, very much, and would never change a thing. But the past is what it is, and all roads not taken led to CO. This is just one of those roads. Still, I try to look back fondly on those roads, those days, those people, of which R is one.

I met R my first day of college, and we proceeded very quickly into a relationship that would span more than two years. He was born in Mexico and immigrated here with his family when he was a little boy. The inter-racial/cultural thing lent a forbidden fruit quality to the relationship that I think we both embraced. For the first time in my life, I felt like a rebel, and that just turned up the heat on my raging teenage hormones, which when combined with the excitement of being away at college, and falling in love for the first time, was a powerful cocktail.

"Now there's a million questions
I could ask about our lives
But I only need one answer
To get me through the night"

Love Bites (Def Leppard)
It was still the late 80's, and I loved Def Leppard. Then he broke my heart, I found out that love CAN bite.

Still, he wasn't a bad guy. He just saw what I refused to see...we loved each other, but in the end, it wouldn't last forever. We were very different people, who came from very different places. His mother spoke no English, and I spoke no Spanish. Neither one of us had lived enough to be sure of something that would be so difficult. He was so right. When I try to picture what my life would be if I had stayed with him, I cannot get a clear picture. All I know is it would be very different from the life I have now.

"I don't wanna touch you too much baby, 'cause making love to you might drive me crazy.
I know you think that love is the way you make it, so I don't wanna be there when you decide to break it.
Love bites, love bleeds...It's bringin' me to my knees
Love lives, love dies...It's no surprise
Love begs, love pleads...It's what I need"

There are a few other songs, not on the 101 list that make me think of R. Most notably Genesis' Throwing It All Away. I was so sure he was going to be sorry some day...that he would never find another girl like me. Don't we all think that? In the end, that was probably true, but I doubt it turned out to be a bad thing.

So here's to R! Thanks. I hope you are happy with your life...where ever you are.

More on B-O-O-B Gawking

2008-09-02T11:09:00.003-06:00

In my last post, I wrote about being annoyed by Mr. B-o-o-b Gawker. My blog friend, Joel, offered a plausible explanation in the comments section regarding genetic wiring and height differentials. It is important to note that Joel also said this is an impulse men should keep under control, so he wasn't condoning the practice, just explaining it.

Of course this is an excellent explanation, and one to which I can mostly subscribe.

Let's face it, even women look at other women's breasts. At least I do. Sometimes, you just can't miss them. Some women put them on display such that it is impossible to miss them. All that is missing are spotlights and a turntable. I may have even fallen into this category myself once or twice.

The difference, of course, is that when a woman notices another woman, it is usually just because the other pair is noteworthy, and very little fascination is involved. We can simply glance, then look away. We women have our very own set. No need to get too invested in someone else's.

Whereas men...well it is different. I get that. I do understand some level of curiosity from men. And some level of looking is probably acceptable to most women. Something between a glance and a glimpse. Even a series of a few covert peeks or fleeting looks. (Ladies...opinions?)

I cannot speak for all women, but this is something I can live with. I can maybe even muster up some vague feelings of flattery...although not much, because you guys will look at anything. Seriously. You will.

But what my last post was talking about, and what I cannot abide is the gawker. This is the man who just flat out stares. Nothing covert. Nothing secretive. Just full on gaping.

And it would even be different if I was in display mode...If you're going to put the goodies on display, they are going to get seen, no two ways about it. But this was a professional conference, and I was appropriately covered. What made it worse, is that we were in a crowd of people waiting to get into a closed conference room. We stood in very close proximity for like five minutes, and I couldn't move, because there were too many people pressed around us. But still the man just stared. I was very uncomfortable. I wanted to slap him. If I had had water, I might have thrown it at him.

In this case the height differential Joel spoke of was reversed...at 5'10'' I am as tall as your average man, and this particular man was slightly shorter. Maybe that made it even worse. I don't know.

So men, my point is, go ahead and glance. Feel free. It is in your nature, and I understand. Whatever. Just don't GAWK. It's obnoxious, and it makes us feel icky. So don't do it!

People Suck

2008-08-28T10:29:00.003-06:00

My week at a continuing education seminar last week reminded me of something I sometimes forget...I don't like people.

Oh, I like individual persons just fine, but people as a whole, not so much. People en mass are rude and obnoxious and annoying. You know what I'm talking about.

For example, there is the diagonal street crosser. You're driving around the parking lot, looking for an empty spot, and you have to wait for someone to cross the street. But do they go straight across quickly, allowing you to pass in the least possible amount of time? Oh no, they cross in a long diagonal, taking as much space and time as humanly possible. Who cares about anyone else's time...it's all about them, isn't it?

Another example is the crowd pusher. You know the one. You're all standing around, waiting for the conference room to open so you can go in and get a seat...hundreds of you, waiting for the same thing. Or maybe there are fifty people waiting to board a plane. Whatever. Then along comes the crowd pusher...the person who insists on pushing their way to the front of the crowd, as if they alone are waiting, and their mere presence will get things rolling. The rest of the crowd is apparently standing around because they have nothing better to do, but the crowd pusher, they are busy. They need to get the show on the road. To hell with everyone else.

There are also the talker/knuckle cracker/nail clipper/disgusting nasal sound/cell phone answerers. These are the folks who make themselves heard during a formal presentation. Someone poor schlep is standing before a group of people, presenting information that may be valuable to those listening, when a group of talkers burst out in barely quieted conversation. We are not talking whispers here, we are talking normal speaking voices.

Or, as an alternative, they sit and crack their knuckles repeatedly, or take the opportunity to clip their fingernails. It always seems to go on forever, leaving me wondering exactly what kind of mutant is sitting in the audience. How many digits does this freak show actually have, because I have counted up to 37 clips already?

Or perhaps they decide to answer their loudly ringing cell phone with a full and boisterous "Hello? Oh, nothing...what are you doing?"

Or maybe they have that annoying and grotesque personal habit of clearing their phlegm filled throat or snorting their nasal mucus every 45 seconds. I try so hard to ignore it, because on some level, I know they cannot help it, but it's like trying to fall asleep when something is dripping or a dog is barking. You hope you won't hear the sound again, but you find you whole body is tensed up waiting for it...you can't focus on anything else, and just as you start to relax, and believe it is over, there is that sound again.

Not to be left out, there is Mr. Boob Gawker. Ladies, you are familiar with this man. This is the older man standing next to you in the crowd, sometimes with his wife standing right next to him, who cannot stop staring at your boobs. And what is a person supposed to do about this, I ask you? Do you stare him down? It won't matter! He will never notice, because he isn't looking at your face to see that you are staring him down in the first place.

So you see what I mean. Persons are fine, but people...people are horrible, inconsiderate assholes! It makes me want to hole up in my house and never venture out again. People suck!

Where Will It End?

2008-08-27T14:54:00.002-06:00

I keep asking myself this question.

As you may remember, a year ago, CO and I were considering relocating to the Midwest, but with the real estate market being what it is, we were afraid to take the chance...afraid we wouldn't be able to sell our current residence.

A year later, there seems to be no end to the drop in housing prices, making me grateful we made the choice we did, but terrified that we will be working under the burden of an upside down mortgage for many, many years to come.

At least we have jobs...for now. CO and I attended an Independence Day party back in July, and of the six couples there, we were the only pair that were not either currently unemployed, recently unemployed or excepting to become unemployed at any moment. We left feeling grateful, but nervous. My parents are both still unemployed...my mother since October of 2007 and my father since February of 2008. And now I read that massive post-Labor Day job cuts are anticipated across the country.

I am on the board of a local charitable organization that provides relief, in the form of respite care and counseling, to the at home caregivers of Alzheimer's patients. Since the organization is primarily state funded, they are receiving no money until the state passes its fiscal year budget, which is way past due, and some speculate it may not be passed until after the November elections. As a result, most of the organizations employees will be laid off, and all programs will be suspended until something changes.

On my daily news clips report from a professional organization I am involved with, I see that in addition to the aforementioned post-Labor Day job cuts, unemployment in a nearby county is at its higest rate in 13 years; Southwest Airlines, like all those before it, are cutting at least 6% of their flights and raising prices due to high fuel costs and poor economic performance; the Federal Reserve is planning to raise interest rates; two more banks are waving the white flag, while the rest face new credit hurdles; and that cities across the nation are running out of money.

Everywhere I look people are losing their jobs, their homes, their businesses.

There is no good news anywhere, it seems.

I am left wondering, how much further is rock bottom? Are we close, or can we not even see it yet? Where will it end?

Freaky Blog Ghosts and More Work Trips

2008-08-15T23:13:00.002-06:00

Okay. Seriously. I am a little freaked out right now.

The post below this one...the one of my granddaughter singing Happy Birthday...I didn't post it.

I DID NOT POST IT!

I tried to post that post like the day after my birthday...July 21st, but I kept getting an error message, so I gave up. Now today it mysteriously shows up. Three weeks later. Out of the blue.

Do do do do. Do do do do.

That is supposed to be the Twilight Zone theme by the way.

Now that I'm thoroughly freaked by the ghosts that have possessed my blog, I am kind of happy to announce I will be out of town for work for the next week.

I shudder to think what I will have posted when I return.

Duhn duhn duhn.

That is supposed to be a suspenseful mystery beat a' la Law and Order or CSI. I don't know where I heard it, I just always associate it with mystery.

Okay, so maybe sound effects don't translate. Whatever! Jeez! Hopefully the ghosts can do a better job while I'm away.

The post is coming from inside the blog. Get out now!

See you on the other side, peeps.

Happy Birthday to Comma

2008-08-15T19:22:00.001-06:00

Here is my song.

Of course, she is so interested in seeing herself on the video, she can hardly concentrate, but you'll get the jist of it!

Hoo Ha ha ha ha ha!

2008-08-13T17:50:00.003-06:00

We are sitting in the hospital cafeteria the other night. Waiting. Then waiting some more. My son, Orin, looks up at a man passing by and says, "There is our doctor. Doctor Hoo Ha."

I stare, disbelieving and ask, "What is his name?"

"Doctor Hoo Ha."

"Doctor Hoo Ha?" I ask, and he nods his head. "Let me get this straight. Doctor Hoo Ha is your OBGyn?" Again he nods, and I burst out laughing.

The jokes just write themselves.

I could never have an OBGyn named Doctor Hoo Ha. I couldn't possibly stop laughing long enough to allow him to do his examination. I just couldn't.

Turns out, the good doctor's name is spelled Guhua, but is pronounced Hoo Ha. Even so, the man was clearly destined to be an OBGyn. It is just beautiful in it's symmetry. Just freakin' beautiful!

A Grand Entrance

2008-08-12T18:25:00.002-06:00

Our grandson arrived this morning at 7:07 am, weighing in at 8 pounds 3 ounces. After an emergency C-Section, mom and baby are resting comfortably.

He kept his mother contracting from Saturday night through Tuesday morning, then refused to come out. Stubborn and feisty...his father's son.

Other than having their days and nights mixed up now, grandma and grandpa are thrilled!

You Want Some Cheese With That Whine?

2008-08-11T14:17:00.003-06:00

That sour grapes whine you're drinking?

Sounds like sour grapes to me, anyway. Here is the article:

Spitz, once the star, upset over Beijing snub
by Polly Hui

US swim legend Mark Spitz won't be on hand in Beijing if Michael Phelps breaks his record of seven gold medals at a single Olympics—because, he says, no one bothered to invite him.
Spitz said the International Olympic Committee, a US television network or FINA—the international body that governs world swimming—should have brought him to the Games this year, with Phelps making a go at his record.

"I never got invited. You don't go to the Olympics just to say, I am going to go. Especially because of who I am," Spitz told AFP in Hong Kong.

"I am going to sit there and watch Michael Phelps break my record
anonymously? That's almost demeaning to me. It is not almost—it is."

Spitz became one of the most famous athletes in the world at the 1972
Munich Olympics, winning seven gold medals—with seven world records—in what many consider to be one of the greatest achievements in all of sport.

Phelps is aiming to better that mark in Beijing, hoping to bring home eight golds. And Spitz, now 58 and grey and without his trademark moustache, cannot understand why he wasn't asked along to see the show.

"They voted me one of the top five Olympians in all time. Some of them are dead. But they invited the other ones to go to the Olympics, but not me," he said. "Yes, I am a bit upset about it."

Now a stockbroker and motivational speaker, Spitz also thinks he could have won eight golds himself in Munich if only he had had the chance.

"I won seven events. If they had the 50m freestyle back then, which they do now, I probably would have won that too," he said.

Spitz, whose brief stint in show business in the 1970s never quite matched his success in the pool, said he attended the Athens Olympics four years ago—when Phelps also tried to break the record.

"They did not once put my face on television," he recalled. "But as soon as the swimming was over, and Michael Phelps didn't break my record, every time I went to beach volley, they put my face on the volleyballs."

Spitz said it would have been a great idea if he could be the one presenting the gold medals to Phelps, who has for years been candid about his ambition to eclipse the mark of seven golds.
And Spitz thinks Phelps will succeed—for one very good reason.

"He's almost identical to me. He's a world-record holder in all these events, so he is dominating the events just like I did," Spitz said. "He reminds me of myself."

This is very disappointing, because I used to really admire the guy. Now my admiration will be limited to his swimming prowess...not to him in general.

Look, maybe he felt he should have been invited, but I can see where this would be a touchy subject for the organizations he called out. Not everyone would be excited about their legendary accomplishment being eclipsed, and if Spitz was one of those people, he would be in an awkward position if he had been formally invited, and didn't want to go. Perhaps to spare him this awkwardness, they didn't formally invite him, figuring if he wanted to go, surely he would let it be known, or assuming that maybe he would just show up on his own. I assume he can figure out how to get to Beijing on his own.

Oh, wait, I forgot.

"You don't go to the Olympics just to say, I am going to go. Especially because of who I am,"

Excuse me, your highness? Because of who you are? Is that off-putting to anyone else?

Dude, millions of people go to the Olympics just to say they are going to go, but obviously they are just regular folks. God forbid you should be associated with the regular folks.

And yes, it would have been a nice touch if "Spitz...could be the one presenting the gold medals to Phelps," but could you imagine asking him to? I can't imagine anyone would ever cross that line. If Spitz was so selfless that he wanted to do that, he should have been the one to bring it up. It wouldn't have been proper for anyone else to ask him to do it.

And he goes on to complain about his face not being on television enough. Uhm, egotistical much? This isn't as much about you as you seem to think, Dude.

But my favorite part..."I won seven events. If they had the 50m freestyle back then, which they do now, I probably would have won that too. He's almost identical to me. He's a world-record holder in all these events, so he is dominating the events just like I did. He reminds me of myself."

I see. Well let's hope he's not entirely like you. Let's hope that if he succeeds, and lives to see someone eventually surpass him, that Michael Phelps demonstrates some class and sportsmanship, instead of hurt feelings and whinniness. Let's hope he can man up and concede that someone bested him without all the pouting "poor me" bullshit. After all, isn't that the whole point of being an athlete? To be better, faster, stronger than those who came before you? To try and be the best? Shouldn't Mark Spitz, of all people, know this?

Guess not.

And this guy is a motivational speaker?

Well I guess he did motivate me...to cheer for Michael Phelps even harder than I had already planned to.

How Hard Can It Be?

2008-08-11T11:46:00.003-06:00

Olympic Gymnastics, that is.

Oh I know these are highly trained athletes who sacrifice all manner of traditional childhoods, family time, friends, etc., to become Olympians. Yes, I know this.

But my 2 and a half year old granddaughter, does not yet understand it.

Upon seeing the first U.S. Gymnast perform her floor exercise yesterday, the Puddin' Pop immediately flung herself on the floor and attempted to match the world class athlete's perfomance.

Of course she didn't quite succeed, but it made for some funny video. And of course, she is gold in our minds!

I'm Back

2008-08-11T10:18:00.002-06:00

I have returned from my vacation...a trip to visit family in the mid-west. I had a great visit with everyone, drank too much, ate too much, shopped too much, and laughed...well, you can never really laugh too much, can you? Anyway, it was lovely. Even the weather cooperated, and we only had one really disgustingly humid, hot day.

Unfortunately, I had to come back to work. I had left three specific projects to one of my staff to complete while I was gone. Two of these were one shot deals...things that needed to be taken care of at a meeting I missed. I returned to find that none of the three projects had been properly completed. My staff "forgot."

He forgot.

I likely won't.

Anyway...I'm back.

I feel like it's been years since I've had anything meaningful to say here. Maybe one of these days I will feel inspired to write a blog that is more than an update or an announcement or an apology. We'll see.

Vacation

2008-07-30T10:16:00.002-06:00

I didn't get much blogging in between my client visit and my vacation. Sorry 'bout that, but I'm sure y'all aren't losing sleep over it or anything.

Even if you are, I'm STILL going on vacation. Sorry. It's not that I don't care...I just NEED a vacation.

So I'm off. I'll be back next Thursday. Happy times, everyone!

I'm Back

2008-07-24T17:00:00.003-06:00

Yeah...it took longer than I thought, but I am back.

And I am older than when I last posted. Lucky me. But it IS better than the alternative, so I shan't complain. Besides, my granddaughter performed her very own original composition of "Happy Burssday to My Comma," and what could be a better present than that, I ask you?

Also while I was away, some spammer got hold of my work e-mail address, so I returned to the office after a week and a half to seven hundred and some odd e-mails. Oh, and they were odd. I won a free washer and dryer, had 11 people searching for me at some reunion website, could find my "soul mate," or get good drugs for myself and for my pet for less than I am paying now, found the solution to weight loss, nicotine addiction and alcoholism, not to mention the perfect job, and I can get my accounting degree on-line. Who knew!

I did try to catch up on my fellow bloggers today, and some of you have been going through some difficult stuff. My heart goes out to you. Also to my cousin L, who has been caught up in the wheels of something that isn't her fault, and has nothing to do with her, I am sorry it has come to this. People will stoop to anything to take themselves out of the spotlight.

That's all for now. I am trying to get caught up from my office absence, so I can have another...a vacation this time. Woo Hoo!

Out

2008-07-14T08:50:00.001-06:00

I will be that is...at a client's office all week, so probably not able to post anything this week.

Have a great week everyone!

The Dog Days of Summer

2008-07-08T15:08:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, I had to take my dogs to the vet…again. This has been a particularly difficult year for my hypochondriac, high maintenance dogs.

I have two dogs, by the way. A 13 year old cocker spaniel, and an 8 year old Shepard/border collie (SBC) mix. The 8 year old in particular has multiple health problems, on which we have spent countless thousands…yes thousands of dollars.

This spring, after multiple trips to a worthless vet who took three months to diagnose her; after the dog had roughly 15 bald spots, one the size of a dinner plate; after we had collected a veritable pharmacopeia of ointments, sprays, pills and shampoos; after we had paid roughly $2,000 in vet bills; we found out the SBC had ringworm. Ringworm…a fairly common dog ailment that any veterinary school graduate should be able to recognize, the treatment for which, apparently, is 6 weeks of twice daily anti-fungal pills that cost a whopping $120 per dog (oh yes, by the time they finally diagnosed the problem, both dogs were afflicted).

In addition to the pills, the dogs were to have baths twice a week with a special, and expensive, fungus fighting shampoo which needed to stay on their skin for 10 minutes.

Have you ever washed a dog? They don't like it all that much. Try leaving the shit on for 10 minutes without them shaking it off, rubbing up against the grass, or trees, or you, to get the shampoo off. To prevent this, I wash them in the bathtub and close the shower doors on them to keep them corralled for the duration. This works fine, actually, but did I mention their hair was falling out? Dog hair, everywhere. I had to buy a special drain thingy to collect it all before it runs down the drain and we have to call a plummer.

So dog baths take about 15 minutes each, with the 10 minute soak and the rinse and all. For two dogs, make that a half hour. Then bathroom clean up took about another half hour a pop. That's an hour...twice a week devoted to dog bathing. Oh, and I forgot the brushing of the hair that is still there. Make that three hours a week devoted to dog bathing. Who has time for this?

Well now it's been a few months, and the SBC has developed new symptoms, so I schedule an appointment for them at a new vet…hopefully a competent vet, to see what the problem is now. I told CO the only appointment I could get was for 4:00pm yesterday afternoon.

CO goes to work at 6:00 am and gets off at 3:00 pm. I go to work at 8:00 (or 9:00 if I am so inclined) and get off at 5:00. These being the facts, anything that happens between 3:00 pm and 5:00 pm, are CO’s responsibility, and anything that happens between 6:00 am and 8:00 am are mine. Yes, I do realize I got the better end of this deal, but still.

So long about 3:15 yesterday, I was at a good place with my work, and decided to leave early to go help CO with the dogs, because the cocker spaniel is old and needs to be lifted into and out of cars, and the SBC weighs 90 pounds and is just unwieldy. It is hard to manage them both at the same time…especially at the vet! I think I’m doing him a big favor here. Good wife!

I get home around quarter of 4:00, and his truck is gone. I am impressed that he got out of there on time, and run into the house to quickly change from my suit so I can meet him at the vet’s office.

When I open the door, both dogs run to greet me. Uh-oh.

I call CO. “Where are you?”

“Driving…why?”

“The dogs are supposed to be at the vet. I came home to help you, but obviously you forgot.”

“Oh.” Oh, indeed.

Well he is a way away yet, but he will meet me at the vet, which means I have to get them both there by myself. No easy task.

I start searching for leashes. We keep them in a nightstand drawer in the guest room. I open the door to the room and remember CO has his car torn apart again. Why does this matter, you ask? Oh, because of the hood, dashboard, headlights and fenders in the guest room. There is no room in the garage you see. Yes, we are rednecks. Thank you.

I take off my shoes and try to crawl around stuff, without touching it in any way, to get to the nightstand. Eventually, I make it, only to find one leash is missing. I grab the one that is there and begin an all points bulletin for the missing leash. I find it under the patio furniture cushions, which is where everyone should keep their dog leashes…it is so handy and logical.

I get both dogs leashed up and head out the door. The cocker spaniel decides she needs to potty before she gets in the car. As she does this, I notice something on her, uhm, butt. It is what you might expect, but hope you will never see, on your dog’s butt.

Since the bout with the ringworm, our groomer will not give the cocker her much needed haircut, and well, her hair is too long. Especially around her butt, apparently. It now had poop caught in it.

I get the SBC in the car, and I turn on the hose. I am still wearing my suit, not having had time to change, what with the leash search and the car parts and all, so I carefully maneuver the dog and spray her bum with the water. She squeals and runs between my legs. My shoes are soaked. I feel the water, and it is burning hot from being baked in the hose all day. Ouch.

Now I have wet feet and guilt.

I wait for the water to cool off, but she is still trying to get away. I spray more water on myself than on her. Eventually, I get a good shot, but the poop isn’t coming off. I must go back inside and get a paper towel. I head for the door, catch my shoe in the tangled up dog leash, leave it for lost, and walk across the driveway with one shoe off.

When I get to the door, I realize it is locked, and my keys are in the car. I walk back across the now very hot driveway with one shoe off (payback for the hot water, no doubt). I retrieve both my keys and my shoe, leave the dog outside, and go get some paper towels. I wipe the poop off the dog’s butt (which was quite gross, I must say), throw the disgusting paper towels away, lock the house and go back for the dog, whose leash has become so tangled with the hose, I feel like I am trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube.

At long last, I get her untangled, find a towel in my trunk, and lay it on the back car seat next to the SBC who it trying to get back out of the car over my back. I attempt to heave the wet cocker spaniel into the back seat, wearing my suit and high heels of course, but halfway there she decides she doesn’t want to go and wiggles out of my arms, falling hard on the ground. She is 13…that is like 91 in dog years. She could break a hip doing that crap. I check to see that she is okay, and I try again, this time with success. Of course I am soaking wet.

Both dogs are officially in the car, and I am officially late, but we are on our way.

When I get to the vet, I look in the back seat to find the dry dog is lying comfortably on the towel, while the wet dog is on the seat. But of course.

I get out and no sign of CO yet, try to get the wet dog out of the car. She ain’t having it. The leash is now tangled around her body in some bizarre way, and I am faced with my second puzzle of the day. I am seriously about to cry at some point here, but I get it done, and get her out. The SBC jumps out, sees CO had pulled into the lot and is exiting his car, and takes off at a run before I can grab her leash, which is, of course, wrapped around my ankle. I trip, but don’t fall, but I do drop the cocker’s leash, and she takes off for Daddy as well. Luckily, he caught them with little effort.

We walk into the vet, and I am a wet, hairy mess in a suit, only to find their air conditioning is out. We sat there for over an hour.

The diagnosis is a skin infection this time, and in addition to the SBC’s twice daily thyroid pills she already takes, she needs to have twice daily antibiotics, twice daily omega fatty acids (which are measured out in a syringe…and gross), immune system boosters, a special brush, ear drops, ear cleanser, and even more special moisturizing shampoo.

And that entire adventure only cost me a total of $547.63.

It gives the whole “Beware of Dog” thing a whole new meaning, really.

Happy Independence Day

2008-07-03T10:58:00.003-06:00

...to all of us! Thanks to this great country we live in, we can write these blogs at will, saying any manner of things.

A special thanks to all those who have laid their lives on the line from that first July 4th to today, to make sure we get to keep that independence.

Enjoy the long weekend of fireworks and BBQ and celebration.

Yay, America!

"I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free
and I won't forget the men who died to give that right to me
I'd proudly stand up next to you and defend her still today
because there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A."
Lee Greenwood

You Guys Are Great!

2008-07-02T10:35:00.004-06:00

I just wanted to thank everyone for reading the very looooong story of Yute, and for all the supportive comments made.

There is so much anger and sadness and guilt entwined in this story. You think if only you had done something differently, then maybe it wouldn't have turned out this way. It is also a difficult thing to walk away from a child you love, knowing he may hate you forever, because he doesn't know he shouldn't. You second guess every decision.

It was very healing to me to write it all down, and more helpful than you know to find that people out there don't think us horrible failures (which we can't help but feel ourselves sometimes...despite our "success" with Orin and Melvin).

So, thanks for all of your kind words and encouragement. And as many of you expressed, I still sincerely hope, despite everything, that this is not the end of the story, and some day it will have a happy ending. In the mean time, I am grateful to have blog friends to lean on. You guys are great!

A Little Pick Me Up

2008-06-25T10:39:00.003-06:00

A quick break from the story of Yute.

I went to the doctor yesterday to have some spots checked (I am a fair skinned strawberry-blonde, so comes with the territory), and I asked her about this client of my firm's who passed away recently from esophageal cancer allegedly caused by acid reflux.

ACID REFLUX! that thing I struggle with all the time.

Is this really possible? Should I be concerned.

Her response...UHM, yes, Dummy! Okay, she didn't really call me dumb, but she was thinking it. Then she goes on to tell me I need to make some lifestyle changes, starting with the elimination of caffeine from my diet.

Uhm, excuse me? What did you say?

NO CAFFEINE!

She wasn't kidding. Apparently it is a significant contributor to acid reflux.

Oh, and I need to lose weight. Well, duh!

Sooooo...this is day two of no caffeine, and I have a question. HOW DO YOU CAFFEINE-FREE PEOPLE STAY AWAKE?

Seriously...HOW? I need help here people. I don't want to die of esophageal cancer, but damn, I'm sleepy! HELP ME!

Rest in Peace

2008-06-21T18:14:00.002-06:00

As an avid NHRA fan, this stuff breaks my heart. Rest in peace, Scott Kalitta, and heartfelt sympathy to his family.

The 40 Names and Numbers Meme

2008-06-17T18:20:00.003-06:00

This should also be known as the incredibly nosy and personal meme...but you'll see for yourself if you can tolerate reading on.

1) What was the name of your first best friend? Cindy Larsen

2) How many best friends have you had? Define "best friend", meme? Okay, well in the old childish sense of "bffs" I'd have to say that besides Cindy, there was Sherri, Shannon, the other Shannon, and Stacy. If we are talking outside the scope of a yearbook, then I'd add my parents and my husband to that list, along with some co-workers I've had over the years.

3) What was the name of the first person you ever kissed? How old were you? The FIRST person I ever kissed? Uhm, I'm guessing it was my mom, and I was probably one. If you are talking romantic kissing, with accompanying butterflies and all, it was Steve something or other. I am not protecting his identity. I seriously cannot remember his last name. I was 14ish, and it was a very chaste, tongueless kiss.

4) How many people have you kissed during the course of your life? EVER? My gosh...a family reunion alone could run this number into the hundreds. You really need to be more specific, meme. I will assume you mean romantically, which is still kind of difficult to remember, quite honestly. I'm gonna say 25ish.

5) What was the name of your favorite childhood teacher? I had a few...Mrs Cayton, Mrs. Williams, but probably Mr. McDermott.

6) How many schools have you attended over the course of your life (elementary, middle, high and colleges)? One of each...so 4! Finally a number I actually know!

7) How many degrees do you have? Oh! I know this one too! I have a two...a bachelor's and a master's.

8) What was the name of your first love? How old were you? Where did you meet? His name was Robert and I was 18. I met him at school number 4.

9) How many times have you been in love? Real love...not just a protracted crush, or love's rude cousin lust? Robert, Brad, Paul & CO. So 4 again.

10) How many times have you been engaged? Just the once.

11) How many times have you been married? Just the once.

12) What was the name of the one person you dated, that you most wish you hadn’t? I don't know that I would do anything over. I learned something from all of them. I dated this one guy Dan a few times who was annoying as heck, and sadly, it was kind of revenge dating, so I guess he would be it.

13) What was the name of the one person you did not date, that you would, if you had to do it all over again? Again, I'm not sure I'd change anything, or the path of my life would be altered, and I wouldn't be here now, but if I MUST pick, I'd have to say there are two...Paul (not the one from #9 above) who I had a massive crush on in college, but the timing was always off, and Greg, who, well, same thing, I guess.

14) What was the name of your first pet? What kind of pet was it? Ginger, and she was an awesome dog.

15) What is the name of the song that was playing when you first did the hanky panky (you don’t have give ages or names on this one)? Gee, thanks nosy, meme. I wasn't planning on it. The song was Twilight Time by the Platters. No it was not in the 50s...there must have been an oldies station on. Like it's your business, meme. Gah!

16) What is the name of your favorite sports team? What sport do they play? There isn't just A team...there is a team for every sport!

Football - Denver Broncos
Hockey - Colorado Avalanche
Baseball - not a huge fan, but I'd say the Anaheim Angels (excuse me the Los Angeles
Angels of Anaheim or whatever that nonsensical name of their is);
Basketball - still not a huge fan, but I'd have to pick the Lakers (but I still dislike Kobe);
NHRA - Larry Dixon (I watch other racing, too, but don't have favorites as much)

17) What is the name and number of your favorite athlete? Historically, it would have to be either Joe Montana or John Elway. Elway was number 7, and I'm pretty sure Montana was 16, but my mind is suddenly blank, and this is already taking too long. I don't want to Google it.

18) What is the name of you favorite vacation destination you’ve previously traveled to? Nice grammar there, meme. I love them all! I will go almost anywhere!

19) What is the name of the one thing you would like to visit, that you haven’t already, before you die? The one THING? You mean PLACE? I would really like to go to Europe some day, but CO refuses to leave the country, so that's probably not happening.

20) How many states have you visited? A bunch! Something like 29, plus D.C.

21) How many countries have you visited? Technically three, but only if you count the southwest corner of Canada, and Tijuana, Mexico.

22) What was the name of your first boss? Bruce...and he was a helluva guy! Seriously!

23) How many different employers have you worked for? 7

24) How many kids do you have? 3...and 1 grandkid...and 1 grandkid on the way

25) How many collections do you have? Besides the kids and annoying memes? Let's see, uhm, is it me or is this a weird question? I guess I have like 4 or 5 "collections" of things.

26) How many cars? 2

27) What was the first car you ever owned? A Dodge Colt...we called it the Silver Bullet

28) How many cars have you owned over the course of your life? Uhhhhh, The bullet, the Capri, the Suburban, the lemon, the Jeep...and as community property El Camino, plus two others. So, what...8?

29) How many homes have you lived in during the course of your life? Eesh! All this counting!! Not counting dorms and other temporary gigs, 9 or 10.

30) How many states have you lived in? Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada and California

31) How many countries have you lived in? Made in the U.S.A.

32) How many tattoos do you have? Do I have to answer this? My blog friends don't know this. Oh okay...one. Happy, meme?

33) How may piercings? Only the ears...now. When I was young (and skinny) I was the first person I knew to get my navel pierced. I was such a rebel. Until it got all ookie and infected. Then I let it close up, and now I have an ugly scar there. That pretty much took care of the rebel thing.

34) How many televisions? Seriously, why do you care? It's 4.

35) What is the name of the first person who broke your heart? Robert

36) What is the name of the first person whose heart you broke? I don't know that I ever have broke someone's heart...maybe Rick.

37) What is the name of the one person from your past you’d most like to get back in touch with? I had this great friend, Joe. I would love to know where he is.

38) What is the name of the one person from you past you most owe an apology to? I'm pretty sure there is more than one. I am generally pretty good about aplologizing when I need to, though, so I can't think of any off the top of my head. But there is always someone you hurt, and didn't realize it. Maybe the guy from #12 above. I wasn't very nice to him.

39) Outside of family, what is the name of the person you are still in touch with, that you’ve known the longest? Tanya

40) What is the name of the person you most want to tag with this meme? No one...this is a prying meme. Do it if you want to spill your dirty little secrets. Whatever.

Woefully Negligent

2008-06-16T14:46:00.002-06:00

The only words to describe my blogging of late. I have been spotty in my posting...both in volume and content. This post will hardly be an improvement.

I could not have adequately predicted the additional work becoming partner has brought my way. I have been appointed as the partner in charge of M.I.S. or I.T. or whatever the title du jour is. Yes, me...technically challenged me, who doesn't even know what the title du jour is. When nominated, my fellow partners agreed that I know more about "that stuff" than any of the rest of them. Let me tell you, this is not a ringing endorsement. What this is, is sad and terrifying.

In addition, I have been elected to a board of directors for a local charity, and CO and I have joined a car club.

I have also been busy working on a reception for Orin, and new D-I-L, which took place this past weekend. They, predictably, were not present to help with anything. Thank God I had family visiting from Iowa and Las Vegas to take up the slack. Of course having them here contributed to my blogging delinquency, however. But they are gone now, and I am missing them terribly, if not the mess my house became with three extra bodies, and one extra dog living in it.

The baby shower is still pending, but I am only secondary support...elected to party favors, and not the entire party planning responsibility. Why do I fear this reprieve will not hold?

So now all the hub-bub is past (theoretically), I will try to do better, but I can't promise anything. I fear making partner means my blogging days are coming to a close. I sincerely hope not. I would miss this...despite the woe and negligence.

How Evil Am I?

2008-06-04T11:34:00.004-06:00

How evil are you?

Some of the staff at work might disagree with this statement.

OH, and I forgot to give credit where credit was due...thanks to Kate P who is good to my neutral for finding this quiz.

That Kind of Idiot

2008-05-29T18:10:00.002-06:00

I normally try to stay away from most volatile political issues on this blog. The Men in Black said it best, "Don't start nothin', won't be nothin'." But I just have to bring this one up.

Last night, I was a speaker on a panel at ye old nearby university. The topic was estate and tax planning for registered domestic partners...which to you non-Californians, mostly equates to the formalized union of same sex couples. This panel was interesting, because it came on the heels of the California Supreme Court's decision that the state's ban on same sex marriage is unconstitutional...a ban that was approved on a ballot measure, oh I don't know, 3 or 4 years ago.

A segment of the community is up in arms over this Supreme Court decision, and of course there is a stay on the whole thing while the two sides fight it out. What I think most people don’t realize, that the only difference is terminology at this point.

You see, the “registered domestic partner” designation was a kind of consolation prize set up by the state that transferred most of the same rights to registered domestic partners that were "enjoyed" by married couples. It just couldn’t be called a marriage under state law. Registered domestic partners (which will be called RDPs from here on out…please don’t make me type that long phrasing again!) cannot be called spouses, but they are considered the next of kin in California for health care directives, inheritance, etc. Public companies must insure RDPs as they would spouses. Their income is treated as community property in California, and they must even file tax returns as married taxpayers...which isn't a benefit in most cases (the taxing authorities don’t call it the “marriage penalty” for nothing). An RDP relationship must be legally terminated, just as a marriage would, with similar parameters for property settlements and alimony. Basically the same...in the state of California.

The federal government does not recognize the RDP designation at all. The term does not exist in federal law. This won’t even change if the California Supreme Court decision holds, and RDPs become married spouses. The federal government will still refuse to acknowledge this as fact, and once these folks cross the state line, they are legal strangers…no matter what California says they are.

And while state law imposes more of the burdens of marriage (i.e., community property issues, spousal support, etc.), it is the federal government that bestows most of the benefits (survivors benefits under social security and the laws governing pensions, gift and estate taxes). So what is truly happening here, is that RDPs or same-sex spouses, call them what you will, are getting all of the burdens of marriage from the state, and none of the benefits from the feds.

It was truly disheartening to see these individuals, who honestly believed they had just achieved a victory, find out that wasn’t quite true. Indivduals in this circumstance have such an uphill battle in everything. They must get tired of fighting, to only find they haven't really won anything, except the right to wage another battle.

Of course, most of us don't get married for the governmentally allocated benefits. Do young couples in love usually sit down and plan their finances, and crunch all of numbers on the benefits and the burdens of marriage before buying that engagement ring? Isn’t marriage always more about emotional health than anything else?

So why is it unreasonable to expect a same-sex couple to want that emotional health? Why is it unreasonable for them to want that public recognition of their bond, and the implied security and sense of permanence that comes with that? Don't many of these individuals suffer enough for their differences? Why do we deny them any emotional respite at all?

I am a libertarian, which, as I understand it, means I am more of a fiscal conservative, but a social liberal. I can buy that. And this is one of the issues I fall to the left on, I will admit, because I haven’t understood the conservative argument very well.

When the ban of same sex marriage was on the ballot, one of the women at my firm said to the group at large in the break room, “I don’t know what kind of idiot would vote ‘no’ on this!” I raised my hand and admitted to being that “kind of idiot.” When I asked her why she felt the way she did, her argument became a useless series of gibberish equating to “because I said so.” Hmmm. Convincing.

My husband is firmly against the idea of same sex marriage as well, but he only gets angry at me when we try to discuss it, he doesn’t like to be reminded of my liberal side, and his argument devolves into homophobia…which he has in abundance.

So I am asking my conservative friends out there to explain it to me. I am not trying to be flippant or argumentative. I’m honestly not. Nor am I accusing everyone who is opposed to same sex marriage of being a homophobe…except CO, who really is. Seriously.

I really do want to get your point of view on this. I really want to understand why this is such a big hairy deal. I am truly open to hearing the other side of this argument. So please…comment. Explain.

But only if you can do it respectfully, without saying “because I said so,” or calling me an idiot. Thanks.