I get so frustrated near this day. It isn't the little kids knocking at the door...I gladly give them candy until I run out, at which point I have been known to scrounge for things in my cupboard...snack size chips and pop tarts for example.
No it isn't the kids, or the traffic, or the commercialism...it's the haters.
There are so many groups out there that protest Halloween.
One of my favorite co-workers (read favorite dripping with sarcasm or in that my favorite co-worker to bitch about and/or torture kind of way) was up in arms because the firm planned our annual fall potluck on Halloween. In the history of the firm, we have never actually had it on Halloween, just near it. And as an aside, it pisses me off that I have to call it the fall potluck, and not what it really is...the Halloween potluck, but I digress.
Same co-worker also had a cow because another employee purchased all of the administrative staff cute holiday water glasses with pumpkins on them. As an administrative staff member, she got hers and clucked her tongue in that dismissive disgusted way and said "I am a Christian. You know I don't celebrate that holiday."
That holiday...like it is too terrible to even utter the word Halloween. I'm sure she about fainted when she learned we were allowed to dress in costume this year (something we have never been allowed to do before).
Likewise, on the blog of old, I told the story of the woman in Target who told her sad little five year old that she could not dress up like a princess because Halloween was "the Devil's Day."
Arrrggggg! This mentality makes me crazy...CRAZY, I tell ya!
Halloween is not the "Devil's Day." It is the remnants of the pagan holiday Samhain, also known as All Hallow's Eve, and marks the end of summer, and the beginning of the new year. In pagan tradition, it is considered the most magical night of the year, when the veil that separates this world from the next is the thinnest, and it was believed that the dead could return to celebrate with their families. Tombs and burial grounds were opened, lighted, visited, etc., to help the dead find their way, and a festival like atmosphere was created to celebrate their return. Feasts were prepared, and extra places set at the table for the deceased releatives. Think of it as a festive memorial day.
This is also where the tradition of "treats" comes from. To be blessed with good luck in the coming year, it was customary to have food on hand for the spirits and travelers that might visit.
The jack-o-lantern was made to light the path for travelers and revelers alike, including the dead family members, and the scary carved faces were made to frighten away evil spirits, which were also on the loose on this night. When placed on porches or in windows, the protection from evil spirits extended to the entire household. This was the same reason people dressed in costumes and wore scary masks...to hide from and frighten off evil spirits.
Another aside...pagans do not believe in the devil, so Halloween cannot be deemed the "Devil's Day." The devil is a Christian creation.
So yes, obviously, Halloween's roots are firmly planted in pagan tradition. But to my co-worker, who is too Christian to celebrate that holiday, may I add that all of the major Christian holidays have similar pagan roots.
First, their very placement on the calendar. Christ was not born on December 25. This date was chosen to correspond with the pagan holiday of Yule. Likewise, Easter was dated to correspond with the pagan holidays of Ostara and Beltane. Many of the lesser Christian holy days have similarly coincidental dates.
Also, the traditions of the Christmas tree, the yule log, the Easter bunny and coloring eggs have all derived from pagan traditions.
If you are going to shun Halloween, fine, just don't be a hypocrite, and shun these things, too. You shouldn't get to pick and choose which traditions offend you and which don't. Pagan is pagan, right?
But before you toss all the traditions, reconsider your Halloween stance. It is not a day of evil. It is a day of celebration, new beginnings, and old memories. It is festive. It is fun. It has gotten a bum rap over the years, thanks to the entertainment industry, but that is all make-believe. Just because Hollywood says it, doesn't make it so.
I understand if you don't want your kid dressing up like a chainsaw killer, or a vampire, or a devil.
But, please...let them be princesses. There are so few opportunities in life to feel like a princess. Let them have this one day.
Happy Halloween!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The Bad Parent
Phew! Well that sucked. But I have endured another deadline and lived to tell the tale. Let's see...twice a year for hopefully only 20 more years...only 40 more of those to go!
Let me change the subject before I dissolve into a puddle of tears. This is a HAPPY day. The 16ths are always happy days. Especially those of April and October.
So totally off the subject, a question: Am I a bad parent?
Let's just say I know some people...more than a few actually, who do things for their kids that I do not. For example, their homework. I don't mean helping...I mean doing. Is this something I should have done, because I didn't? Would your answer change at all if I told you the kids getting the help were in COLLEGE?
I know someone else who pays their adult child's living expenses...all of them, including all the extra bells and whistles, too. We are not talking simply food here, but rent, brand new cars, $300 cell phones, plus spending money. Should I be doing this, because again, I'm not? Would your answer change if I told you these kids were NOT in college?
I know someone else who is their adult child's administrative assistant, handling all her "business." You know, bill paying, check writing, doctor appointments. This individual has even interceded on her daughter's behalf with her college professors and her employers. I ask you again, should I be doing this, because as you may have guessed, I am not.
Maybe I am a bad parent. Maybe I should be doing these things for them. I guess it is my own parents' fault that I don't do these things.
Never once in the years I was in school did my parents do my homework for me...not in kindergarten, not in middle school and certainly not in college. They helped on occasion..but it was a rare occasion, and usually involved building some monument out of papier mache and sugar cubes. They also helped me study for exams by running through flashcards with me...flash cards I made and studied ad nauseum before they stepped in. I can remember a time or two that my mom helped type a paper that I had written by myself, and she made no changes to my spelling or grammar. That was on me.
And my parents did pay many of my expenses while I was in college, but I had plenty of student loans to prove that I was expected to help pull my own weight. Oh, and I had a job, too, by the way, no cell phone (of course they hadn't been invented yet, but still), and a car that was far from brand new. And I knew that if I ran out of money, there wasn't an unlimited supply to draw from. I couldn't just call home and ask for more. I had to do without for awhile.
Later, as an adult, I won't say my parents never helped me, for example buy something I couldn't afford, like a new television, or a nice set of pots and pans. But paying my day-to-day living expenses? Uh, no way! Rent, gas, utilities, insurance...all my problem.
And it goes without saying that my parents have never called my employer to rail over some injustice they believe I suffered. They never called my college professors to ask if I could get an extension on that paper they were going to write for me anyway, or to complain about the D the prof "gave" me on the last exam, because I certainly wouldn't have earned that D on my own. That would be impossible.
So see...it's their fault I don't do these things for my kids. They're the ones who taught me to stand on my own two feet, to fight my own battles, to face my own responsibilities and consequences. They are the ones who made me do the same for my boys.
Am I crazy to think that a parent's job? Or am I just a bad parent, with bad parents?
Let me change the subject before I dissolve into a puddle of tears. This is a HAPPY day. The 16ths are always happy days. Especially those of April and October.
So totally off the subject, a question: Am I a bad parent?
Let's just say I know some people...more than a few actually, who do things for their kids that I do not. For example, their homework. I don't mean helping...I mean doing. Is this something I should have done, because I didn't? Would your answer change at all if I told you the kids getting the help were in COLLEGE?
I know someone else who pays their adult child's living expenses...all of them, including all the extra bells and whistles, too. We are not talking simply food here, but rent, brand new cars, $300 cell phones, plus spending money. Should I be doing this, because again, I'm not? Would your answer change if I told you these kids were NOT in college?
I know someone else who is their adult child's administrative assistant, handling all her "business." You know, bill paying, check writing, doctor appointments. This individual has even interceded on her daughter's behalf with her college professors and her employers. I ask you again, should I be doing this, because as you may have guessed, I am not.
Maybe I am a bad parent. Maybe I should be doing these things for them. I guess it is my own parents' fault that I don't do these things.
Never once in the years I was in school did my parents do my homework for me...not in kindergarten, not in middle school and certainly not in college. They helped on occasion..but it was a rare occasion, and usually involved building some monument out of papier mache and sugar cubes. They also helped me study for exams by running through flashcards with me...flash cards I made and studied ad nauseum before they stepped in. I can remember a time or two that my mom helped type a paper that I had written by myself, and she made no changes to my spelling or grammar. That was on me.
And my parents did pay many of my expenses while I was in college, but I had plenty of student loans to prove that I was expected to help pull my own weight. Oh, and I had a job, too, by the way, no cell phone (of course they hadn't been invented yet, but still), and a car that was far from brand new. And I knew that if I ran out of money, there wasn't an unlimited supply to draw from. I couldn't just call home and ask for more. I had to do without for awhile.
Later, as an adult, I won't say my parents never helped me, for example buy something I couldn't afford, like a new television, or a nice set of pots and pans. But paying my day-to-day living expenses? Uh, no way! Rent, gas, utilities, insurance...all my problem.
And it goes without saying that my parents have never called my employer to rail over some injustice they believe I suffered. They never called my college professors to ask if I could get an extension on that paper they were going to write for me anyway, or to complain about the D the prof "gave" me on the last exam, because I certainly wouldn't have earned that D on my own. That would be impossible.
So see...it's their fault I don't do these things for my kids. They're the ones who taught me to stand on my own two feet, to fight my own battles, to face my own responsibilities and consequences. They are the ones who made me do the same for my boys.
Am I crazy to think that a parent's job? Or am I just a bad parent, with bad parents?
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
A Work Imposed Hiatus
Sorry. Things are much too much to handle right now.
I'll be back next week...after October 15th.
I'll be back next week...after October 15th.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Of Vices and Judgment
This morning, as I ran into the convenience store near my office for my morning caffeine and sugar fix, I passed a woman madly scratching at the cellophane on her cigarette package. Her shaking hands and desperate look clearly advertising her nicotine jones. Then I noticed that part of the reason she was having so much trouble opening the smokes, was that she was pulling an oxygen tank behind her at the same time. When I came out of the store, she was happily puffing away, blissfully ignoring the tubes in her nose and the "flammable" sticker on the tank. I have to admit, as I hurried away from the potential explosion, I shook my head in wonderment.
Wonderment and judgment.
But as I took a big sip of my Dr. Pepper (my caffeine and sugar of choice), I wondered what right I had to pass judgment on her.
Yes, her vice is obviously killing her, and non-smokers, which I am by the way, are quick to ask "Why don't you just quit?" To which I imagine she might answer "Gee, why didn't I think of that?" Clearly, it is not that easy.
We all have our vices. For example, the aforementioned caffeine and sugar. As a nonsmoker, I admit that I sometimes forget that. I wonder if I would be able to give up my vices if someone told me I had to...if they were killing me? In fact, since I am overweight and diabetes runs in my family, it is quite possible that the sugar, at least, is killing me...just slower than that woman's cigarettes, perhaps. And I know this...I do. But have I stopped? Uhm...no. So how am I any different than that woman? How am I in any position to judge her?
My home state has been lately showing these commercials about the dangers of second hand smoke. I know, that is an old story, and the major difference between my vice and hers...mine will kill me, hers may kill us both. But that is not the point. This particular commercial has been targeting the second hand smoke you don't know exists...the smoke that comes through apartment vents from neighboring apartments. This commercial goes hand in hand with the proposed idea that my home state become entirely smoke-free.
My state has already outlawed smoking in the workplace, in restaurants and bars, basically in public period, and now they are trying to get people on the bandwagon to outlaw it in people's homes as well?
I am a nonsmoker, and as such, I truly appreciate being able to go to a restaurant and eat my dinner without smelling some one's cigarette. But to tell someone they cannot smoke in the privacy of their own home? That is a line I will not cross.
What is next? Alcohol? Because drunk driving kills people just as effectively as second hand smoke, and outlawing "driving" drunk does not seem to have eliminated it, so maybe we should outlaw the "drunk" altogether? Not even in the privacy of your own home, because who knows if in your drunken state you will get the urge for a burrito at 2:00am (not that I have ever done that or anything). I'm telling you, this is one step away from prohibition.
And then what? Once cigarettes and alcohol are gone, do you think these people will be content? NO! Then it will be fast food and pastries and ice cream. Then meat. After that they will tell us that television is wasting our minds, and that we should only be allowed to watch educational programming. And sex...sex should only be for procreation, so if you're not trying to conceive, keep your pants on. Oh, and by the way...missionary style only, thank you.
These kind of lifestyle judgments should be reserved for severely offensive and harmful activities only, like pedophilia, rape, spousal abuse, child abuse and the like. I hardly think smoking belongs in this category. And if it does, well then why not drinking, eating, television watching and consensual adult sex?
Is this really the land of the free, when we are trying to pass laws like this? I have to wonder.
Wonderment and judgment.
But as I took a big sip of my Dr. Pepper (my caffeine and sugar of choice), I wondered what right I had to pass judgment on her.
Yes, her vice is obviously killing her, and non-smokers, which I am by the way, are quick to ask "Why don't you just quit?" To which I imagine she might answer "Gee, why didn't I think of that?" Clearly, it is not that easy.
We all have our vices. For example, the aforementioned caffeine and sugar. As a nonsmoker, I admit that I sometimes forget that. I wonder if I would be able to give up my vices if someone told me I had to...if they were killing me? In fact, since I am overweight and diabetes runs in my family, it is quite possible that the sugar, at least, is killing me...just slower than that woman's cigarettes, perhaps. And I know this...I do. But have I stopped? Uhm...no. So how am I any different than that woman? How am I in any position to judge her?
My home state has been lately showing these commercials about the dangers of second hand smoke. I know, that is an old story, and the major difference between my vice and hers...mine will kill me, hers may kill us both. But that is not the point. This particular commercial has been targeting the second hand smoke you don't know exists...the smoke that comes through apartment vents from neighboring apartments. This commercial goes hand in hand with the proposed idea that my home state become entirely smoke-free.
My state has already outlawed smoking in the workplace, in restaurants and bars, basically in public period, and now they are trying to get people on the bandwagon to outlaw it in people's homes as well?
I am a nonsmoker, and as such, I truly appreciate being able to go to a restaurant and eat my dinner without smelling some one's cigarette. But to tell someone they cannot smoke in the privacy of their own home? That is a line I will not cross.
What is next? Alcohol? Because drunk driving kills people just as effectively as second hand smoke, and outlawing "driving" drunk does not seem to have eliminated it, so maybe we should outlaw the "drunk" altogether? Not even in the privacy of your own home, because who knows if in your drunken state you will get the urge for a burrito at 2:00am (not that I have ever done that or anything). I'm telling you, this is one step away from prohibition.
And then what? Once cigarettes and alcohol are gone, do you think these people will be content? NO! Then it will be fast food and pastries and ice cream. Then meat. After that they will tell us that television is wasting our minds, and that we should only be allowed to watch educational programming. And sex...sex should only be for procreation, so if you're not trying to conceive, keep your pants on. Oh, and by the way...missionary style only, thank you.
These kind of lifestyle judgments should be reserved for severely offensive and harmful activities only, like pedophilia, rape, spousal abuse, child abuse and the like. I hardly think smoking belongs in this category. And if it does, well then why not drinking, eating, television watching and consensual adult sex?
Is this really the land of the free, when we are trying to pass laws like this? I have to wonder.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
iTunes for Tuesday
Sorry for the lame blogging...this is one of my really busy weeks at work. In the mean time, amuse yourself with Tuesday game time and identify the song, artist and/or next line of these songs:
1) But I don't think time is gonna heal this broken heart. No I don't see how it can when it's broken all apart.
2) Headin' into twilight spreadin' out her wings tonight. She got you jumpin' off the track and shovin' into overdrive.
3) I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright. I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home.
4) Oh, it's been such a long, long time. Looks like I'd get you off my mind. Oh, but I can't. Just the thought of you...
5) What goes up, must come down.
Happy humming!
1) But I don't think time is gonna heal this broken heart. No I don't see how it can when it's broken all apart.
2) Headin' into twilight spreadin' out her wings tonight. She got you jumpin' off the track and shovin' into overdrive.
3) I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright. I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home.
4) Oh, it's been such a long, long time. Looks like I'd get you off my mind. Oh, but I can't. Just the thought of you...
5) What goes up, must come down.
Happy humming!
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