I have been having trouble writing since my change of venue. It is the paranoia. This situation has been less than pleasant, and the fear of going through it again has kept me tongue tied. I am so sure I am going to say something wrong, and be caught doing it, that I can't say anything at all.
But I need to get over it. I miss the release this writing brings, and I miss the connection with the few readers out there. So I will plug on, probably revealing enough of myself in the process so that someone could find me, if they were smart and alert. I just need to not discuss certain individuals and hopefully, things will be fine.
So onto the purpose of this post. I have been job hunting, and as part of this process, considering a relocation. This process is very stressful, and I want it over and done. So I made a deal with myself that now I was down to three viable options, I would go with whichever option seemed the best at the end of this process.
BUT...that was before one option came back ridiculously low, and the second option is taking a frustratingly long time making a decision. In fact, they have been so unprofessional, I want to call them and tell them to piss off without an offer in hand...but of course I have NOT done that. The third option is good, but I just have this inexplicably negative vibe from them. It is probably nothing, but I can't shake it. Still, I had just about made up my mind that that was the option I was taking...the one option that did not involve a relocation.
But then this morning, a source I thought had dried up, called me to explore some additional opportunities, and now I don't quite know what to do.
See, the timing of this thing is getting dicey. My current option gave me their offer at the end of May. I have been keeping them dangling along for nearly two months, while I explored these other things. I don't think I can fairly keep them hanging for much longer...certainly not long enough to explore these other possibilities. And what if these new possibilities don't work out, either, and I have lost my best option?
So what do I do? Should I be true to my initial promise to myself, and let this option fall out as the one I will take, or should I take it as a sign that these new options have come my way?
I should mention that I have a job, and they are not pushing me out the door. In fact, I am sure they would be happy for me to stay as long as I wanted, but the problem is, this job is not going anywhere. So if I give up the best option, it won't be as if I am unemployed. I will have just pissed off my headhunter to no end, and will be stuck in this dead end job, with no future help from her.
Hmmmmm. I am completely at a loss here people. I am paralyzed with fear of making the wrong choice. What do I do next? I know I have to make this decision on my own, and that you can't really help me...but what? What?
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5 comments:
It's been my experience that those weird feelings about a place usually don't leave. Even if they don't foretell something horrible, it's going to put a stigma on the place.
Like you said, you have a job. If you're not comfortable with this one offer, don't take it. Explore that other option.
That's my take, anyway.
Your paralyzing paranoia has me perplexed. (I felt the need to use alliteration)
I want you to move but that is just me being selfish.
What does CO say? Is he still wishy washy about moving?
Remember the cost of living is less here too... :)
It really doesn't sound like any of the choices are going to be a mistake Maggie. AND, who says this has to be the LAST JOB EVER. Maybe you are putting to much pressure on yourself.
That is my two cents which, with inflation, is really only worth a half a cent.
You have a good head on your shoulders and you just need to trust yourself.
Love you
This has got to be an incredibly hard decision. I suck at making decisions like this so I feel for ya! Maybe take another look at the option that you have the bad feeling about to see if you can figure out why you got that vibe. There must have been a reason for it. Other than that I am sure you will weigh all your options and make the best decision for you and your family. Love you and hope to see you soon, be it for a visit or a move!
Thanks for the advice!
And, no, CO is actually ready to go, it's just that the opportunities there are still unclear, and the one here is really good...on paper. I just can't shake that bad vibe.
Although I will say I had a few conversaitons with people yesterday that helped shed some light on it. I think the bad vibe may have been well placed.
Also, the kids have steadfastly refused to go to the Midwest. Since they are legal adults, we cannot make them. That makes the decision much harder.
Still mulling it over. I will let you know as soon as I know.
Those bad vibes are there for a reason. Trust them.
Hon, I don't know what you should do. I really don't. But I know that you're careful consideration is well-placed. Soon, you'll know when to jump and where.
Like you trust the bad feelings, you'll have to trust the good ones. Nothing's going to be perfect. But if it gets you closer to where you want to be, then that's perfect in its own way.
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