The Interns From Hell

We have five interns this year. FIVE. That is a lot for us, and I have to say, they are really disappointing me.

I mean, I figured with five interns, at least one of them would have done something monumentally stupid by now. We only had three last year, and by this time one had already quit, and another had fallen asleep at his desk. This year...nothing. Everyone is working. Everyone is learning. Everyone shows up on time and leaves on time and stays coherent for the 8 hours they are here. No one has said anything insulting, flippant, rude or idiotic.

Damn them!

They are severely impacting my blog material.

Dyno Might

The video below is not very exciting, but the 496.5 rear wheel horsepower it pulled was. It is the second highest dyno day pull on a non-professionally built engine in the 8 months since the place opened. And that was cutting it off at 5000 RPMs. It was still going up, but he didn't want anything to break. If we could just get that new block, we'd really kick some ass.

Oh lottery, lottery...where for art thou?

Vaca Performance Dyno Day winner 2-21-09

Just Don't

One of the weird things I do during tax season to measure time passing is to listen to my iPod straight through...every song with no skips. Last year I sorted by artist, this year I sorted by song title.

I have reached the "don't" section of my song list. That is all the songs titles that begin with the word "don't." There are a surprising number of them, and it reads like a list of rules. As I keep hearing the word "don't" repeated over and over, I am starting to feel like I am being scolded.

So of course I feel the need to share that scolding with you. So, courtesy of my iPod, here are the rules for today. Follow them, and no one gets hurt:

DON'T ask me why

DON'T be cruel

DON'T bring me down

DON'T come around here no more

DON'T cry out loud

DON'T do me like that

DON'T fear the reaper

DON'T go away mad (just go away)

DON'T go breaking my heart

DON'T leave me this way

DON'T let me be lonely tonight

DON'T let the sun go down on me

DON'T stand so close to me

DON'T stop 'til you get enough

DON'T stop believin'

DON'T tread on me

DON'T worry baby

DON'T you forget about me

Just...DON'T. Okay?

California - Find Yourself Here...and Fork Over Some Money While You're At It

Have you seen this ad for California on television? Are they seriously trying to get people to come live, and presumably work here with this ad?

Hmmmm. I guess they thought that sounded better than "Move to California so you can help us from going bankrupt by paying your share of the massive tax increase required to stop the bleeding from our gross overspending resulting from our complete inability to properly balance a budget."

Or even "Come to California, because somebody has to pay for the octuplets."

EDIT: I don't know why the video did not properly embed. Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md69zCJKD1c

Idol Chit Chat 2009...A Whole Lotta Gone

I didn't comment on Tuesday night's performance show. With a few notable exceptions, it was teh suck. The most disappointing thing was Tatiana, in that I wanted her to stink it up, but she didn't. Still, she is a whole lotta crazy, that girl.

The results were not surprising. Alexis Grace was far and away the best female vocalist of the night. She had to have sailed through by a mile. I like her. She is an adorable little pixie. And she listened to the judges and "dirtied" herself up. She's great.

Michael was not the best male vocalist of the night, or even second best, but he has a likability factor the others don't. He is an average joe...good-looking, but not glamorous, and he is a manly man...no prom queen drama there at all. I would have selected Ricky Braddy over him based on vocals, but Ricky got screwed by the A.I. machine, in that he didn't get hardly any air time prior to Tuesday night. People already "knew" Michael.

Speaking of the A.I. publicity train, they have practically paraded Danny in on a float. Between his tragic loss, his best bud story and his general likability, he has been the A.I. poster boy for the audition phase of the competition. Everyone who has been paying attention knows and likes him already. He was a shoe in for the top 12 because A.I. made it so.

Now having said that, I have to say I basically love him. Thank you A.I.

It isn't only his story that is appealing. His face and his voice are da bomb, dawg. I think SarahK at Snark Raving Mad put it best...he "looks like Robert Downey Jr (pre-substance abuse and post-rehab), voice like buttah," and as she also pointed out, he is still wearing his wedding ring, which is just so incredibly touching. My husband, ever the cynic, says he is wearing it to play up the tragedy angle. I told him to shut it. Danny is damn sexy. Oh, and he can sing...like that's important or something.

As for the wild card round. I am not sure exactly how it works, but I hope they bring Ricky Braddy back for that, as well as Brent, who reminds me a bit of a younger CO, so I can't help myself.

So do you think that the A.I. folks were breathing a collective sigh of relief that they got off the air before Tatiana had a meltdown, or were they pulling for it? The camera kept panning to her, like they were anticipating something big. I loved how when she and Danny were on stage together at the end, he kept looking at her wearily. CO kept dubbing in Danny's thoughts, which were along the lines of: "Someone did go over this girl with a metal detector, right?", and "Security? Okay...just making sure you were paying attention." and our all time favorite line from Two and a Half Men, uttered by Berta about one of Charlie's psycho girlfriends "Did you see that bitch? You've gotta put a whole lotta gone between yourself and a crazy bitch like that."

A whole lotta gone.

Predicting Showers

I know. I know. I've been negligent. But it is tax season, so it isn't likely to get any better between now and April 15th.

But I DID have a very important, pressing question for everyone.

What is your opinion on baby showers for second babies?

I was raised to believe that you get a shower for your first only. That is your first wedding, your first baby, whatever. But over the last, oh, I'd say eight to ten years, I have seen a plethora of second showers. Am I being too traditionalist? Is this now okay? Should we be celebrating all happy events in this manner? Why should baby number two be less welcomed than baby number one? Or is this just making a pest of yourself with your friends and family? Hasn't the sentiment always been that if they want to buy you a gift, they will, but you shouldn't put them in the awkward position of forced generosity...at least not twice?

I need your help here, Peeps. Seriously.

Gentlemen, I welcome your input on this topic, of course, but if you seriously have no opinion on this issue, I beg you to ask your lovely and brilliant wives their opinions. I am always down to hear what J-Mom, the Ladybug or the Sainted Bride has to say...just to name a few.

Thanks so much!

Sigh

That is all. Just sigh.

The Zoo

So CO and I took the granddaughter to the San Diego Zoo this weekend. A belated 3rd birthday present.

We drove the hour and a half to the zoo. We bought her an annual pass, a churo, cotton candy, a t-shirt and stuffed animal. We put .51 cents into one of those machines that flattens your penny, and imprints it with an animal's likeness. We schlepped around to all the cages, ooohing and ahhhing, and holding her up for the best possible view. We took her on the arial tram, despite our collective discomfort with heights. Then, after everyone was worn out, we headed back to the car for the return trip home.

At this point I stupidly asked her if she had fun, to which she answered, "No, not really."

Tough crowd.