Monday Morning Sports Report

This time of year, my weekends are primarily spent in front of the big screen watching sports. Mostly football, with some baseball and NHRA thrown in for good measure. I know to many people, this is a waste of precious life. To me, this is life. In my family, the years are measured not in A.D., but in their relation to our various teams' performances. For example, "That was the year the Broncos won their first Superbowl" or "The year that USC won the National Championship." Of course there are other years too...the one's that we speak of only in hushed tones while shaking our heads in dispair, but we try not to speak of those too often.

Whenever anyone asks me what my dream job would be, my answer is always the same...I would be a sports journalist. I don't know that I'd be very good at it, but that wasn't the question was it? Imagine traveling around and watching sports for a living! Bliss, I tell you!

But I'm not a sports journalist, so I have to play one on my blog. Here are some thoughts I had this week:

1) First, my beloved Trojans...they are teh awesome. There is just nothing else to say, except, I love Pete Carroll. The man is off the hook. In his tenure at USC, his teams have a +104 in turnovers, and that is just one of many fine statistics his teams possess. I seriously love him. Seriously.

2) Ohio State...you have once again been exposed for what you are, or more accurately, for what you are not. Can the OSU fans please, please, please shut it already? You're done. It's over. You are not as good as you think you are. Just shut it!

3) New England fans...yes, Tom Brady is hurt. Yes, this is a bummer for you, but it is not a national tragedy. No, it was not a dirty hit. This is football, not chess. People get hurt. It happens. That doesn't make it rife with intent. So let's banish these conspiracy theories to the political realm where they belong.

4) Tony Schumacher...so sick of him. Seriously SICK of him. Furthermore, I cannot believe this guy can be so much better than everyone else in his class all the friggin' time without some, uhm, artificial assistance. Something is amiss. I call shenanigans! By the way this conspiracy theory is okay. Sports fans are nothing if not hypocritical.

5) UCLA...well, yes they suck. I am an SC fan, so that is just a fact of life IMHO. However, do they suck that bad...59 to 0 bad? Or did the traitor Norm Chow have anything to do with making sure his beloved BYU stays strong in the rankings? Just a thought. I don't really care either way. UCLA will still suck, and Norm Chow will still be a traitor no matter what.

6) Okay, I have mentioned I am a Denver Bronco fan...so I obviously must address The Call. Or I guess I should say the calls plural. Yes, they were terrible calls...result-making, game-changing calls. I will not dispute that. It happened. It sucks for you Charger fans out there. It really does. I even honestly feel kind of bad for you. I do! However, might I suggest that this was just a case of bad karma coming to call on Phillip Rivers after his abhorrent display of poor sportsmanship against Jay Cutler last year, and nothing more?

And for the record, I also agree that the NFL needs to hold the refs to a higher level of accountability for these types of errors. But the San Diego player who spoke out saying something like "When we fuck up, we get fired" uhm, no you don't. Players drop passes, throw interceptions and miss tackles all the flippin' time. You don't get fired! Let's dial down the drama just a tad, shall we? You have a right to be upset, but not irrational. Only I get to be irrational. Do you see how this works?

7) Speaking of the Broncos...does Mike Shanahan have big ol' brass ones or what? I loved that call for the two-point conversion! I would have loved it even if they had missed it. This is what sports are all about...no guts, no glory!