It Had to Be Me

After the week I have had so far, this actually did NOT surprise me, but...

I came in my office this morning, and my desk was covered with ants. ANTS! They were everywhere, but mostly on my iced tea glass, which yesterday had been filled with Arizona Sweet Tea. I rinsed it out before I left last night, but I didn't wash it. Apparently, those little buggers could still smell some residual sugar.

I spent the better part of an hour cleaning up ants in my office, and the rest of the day (so far) killing the stragglers.

After lunch, I poured myself my afternoon glass of sweet tea, with the knowledge that the glass would be thoroughly washed before I leave tonight. Okay. Fine.

I get back to my desk and remember my coaster is in the kitchen drying from the morning scrub down. No biggie. I'll just use my coffee coaster. It is one of those with the scented beads in it that leave off a nice cinnamon smell when warmed by the coffee mug. Yeah, apparently those are only built for a squat coffee mug, and not so much for a tall glass. Different center of gravity and all. Before I had even taken a single sip, the damn glass tips over.

All over.

All over the desk, me and...the carpet. The brand new office carpet that was installed only two Saturdays ago.

For seven work days, I have been tip-toeing around here, meticulously wiping my feet, carefully carrying my beverage of choice, wondering who was going to be the first person to spill on the brand new carpet.

I should have known. Seriously. I should have KNOWN. It HAD to be me.

And of course to add insult to injury, the ants LOVE this stuff. Now it is all over my carpet.

The only consolation is that I had a honking huge roll of paper towels and some spray cleaner in my office, so I jumped on the spill before it had time to really set in. And it is under my desk, so it isn't really noticeable.

AND the office manager did NOT see me do this.

Technically, I am her boss, but all technicality aside, the woman is terrifying. NO ONE wants to cross her. EVER. I certainly did not want to tell her I spilled tea...sweet tea...on the brand new carpet...in the very area the ants were inhabiting.

Don't ask, don't tell...that's my motto.

Shhhh. I think I hear her dulcet tones coming down the hall. If I never post again, you will know why. Goodbye my friends!

Idol Chit Chat...of Albemarle and Artistis

SarahK covers last night's auditions beautifully, as always, but I did have a few thoughts to add.

After seeing the chick, De Anna with a capital A, from Albemarle, North Carolina…aka Kellie Pickler’s home town, I have to advise the Albemarle school board to revamp their educational process. They are 0 for 2 here.

The little dance captain who stated her name as “Amy, Amy Catherine, AC, whatevs”...IMHO, she is way to flippant for a 16 year old speaking to her elders. Simon says some people in America will find her annoying, and she says “No they won’t.” Uhm, Sweetie, Simon is right. I already find you annoying, and it’s been like 30 seconds. You’re adorable and all, and I appreciate your convictions, but yeah…you bug.

Maybe she should hook up with the guy who auditioned last week in Texas who was also a virgin. Did he get through? That would be perfect for them! Maybe she would get the necklace his dad wore with the heart. Awww.

Anyway…

Both last night, and the night before, a few auditioners have commented that people stop and stare when they sing. Uhm, people, this isn’t necessarily a good thing. These “singers” seem to be under the impression that onlookers pause because they are awestruck…when in fact they stop because they are horror struck. Same reaction, very different cause. Seriously people, THINK about this as a possibility, before running off to American Idol auditions. Please.

One of these seriously delusioned people proclaimed loudly, after being rejected, that AI didn’t want good “artistis.” Was he from Albemarle?

South Carolina was not good. San Diego was only marginally better. I swore this would be my final season of AI, if it was as bad as last season. It is not looking good for the future of my relationship with AI.

Can I See What's Behind Door Number 2?

As heard on a television commercial for one of those "technical institutes." I won't say which one:

"Upon graduating some of our graduates are ready for jobs in the ____ industry."

Only some?

Some of our graduates are intelligent and prepared, whereas others are boneheaded idiots upon whom we bestowed degrees simply to get them out of our hair...oh, and because they paid us, of course. You guess which is which.

Oh, sorry! You were sooooo close. Care to try again?

Uhmmm, that would be NO!

This advertisement would not inspire me to hire a graduate from this institution. I think one of their graduates come up with this marketing campaign.

Some of our graduates are clever and witty, while some...

They may want to rethink this approach...to both the marketing and the quality of education they are providing.

Dream Interpretation

I had two really strange dreams this weekend, and since a few of my favorite bloggers have recently shared their dreamscapes with us, I thought I would supply a bit of quid pro quo.

Although I have to warn you, I don't dream in nearly as much detail as they do, so please read my post first, before linking to theirs. That way, mine won't seem like such a disappointment. If you read theirs first, you're gonna be bored with mine. See, I have no cheerleading, and no action-hero antics, so keep your expectations low.

In dream number 1, I am with an old friend (and fellow but recently reclusive blogger), and we are riding on the back of a motorcycle with her beloved. Don't ask me where we got this giant chromed-out chopper big enough for all three of us, because I just don't know. But we were riding through some forest area, when for some unknown reason we stopped and started searching for leprechauns. We weren't searching in the "do they really exist" way, it was they did exist, and her beloved knew them...they were friends or something, and we were invited to some party. I can't remember if we actually found them or not, but the next thing I knew, we were back on the highway being chased by the police. We tried to outrun them, but for some reason decided to stop.

Turns out, I was very drunk in this dream (no...really? Sounds more like I was drunk in real life). I had been drinking vodka...and lots of it (maybe that's why I can't remember the leprechaun party), and I was being arrested for drunk driving. But I hadn't been driving the motorcycle at all. I was just hanging on the back. My friend had been driving. I tried explaining this all to the police...and let's don't even talk about how quickly I gave her up, but they didn't care. I kept arguing over and over that they couldn't arrest me for drunk driving when I wasn't driving. They could only arrest me for public intoxication or some such thing. I think I may have been an attorney in this dream. That, or my copious intake of vodka had me thinking I was.

Anyway, I woke up somewhere around this point. The strange part of the dream was how real it was. I swear I was dying inside at the thought of calling CO and telling him I had been arrested for drunk driving. I was worrying over my insurance rates, the amount of the fines, how I was going to tell my parents, my kids, everything. And when I woke up, for a few seconds, I wasn't completely certain that it hadn't really happened. I never dream that "real." I can usually tell it is a dream while it is happening, and there is rarely such logical responses from me as worrying over the financial impact of the dream woes.

In the second dream I was Hermione from the Harry Potter books, and I was in love with Victor Krum, not Ron. Okay yes, I recently watched The Goblet of Fire movie. Anyway, our love was a secret love, and I couldn't tell anyone. We sneaked all over under cover of Harry's invisibility cloak, and no one knew. Until we both became contestants on American Idol.

I sang the Theme from Mahogany, by Diana Ross, and I kicked ass! In fact, I kicked Victor's ass, and his mom got pissed at me. She threatened to tell everyone that I was sleeping with Victor, so that I would be stripped of my American Idol crown, which was a real crown by the way...all sparkly and glittery. I got away from her though, and remembered I had one more song to sing, but I couldn't recall which song. I woke up trying to remember some elusive song that I never could quite catch.

So...what does it all mean? I forget that I have drank too much, act like an ass, and think I am right when I consume vodka, and I am too invested in Harry Potter and American Idol?

Well, Duh! I already knew that.

Idol Chit Chat...of Dignity, Dorks, Stalkers and Chest Wax

I am late, as usual, in posting, and everyone else here has pretty much covered it. But still, I had some thoughts.

First, Alexis...sparkly pirate crackhead girl. They weren't even mean to her. They said she could sing pretty well, with a band, but she wasn't a soloist, and the show was not right for her talent. She FLIPPED OUT in great disproportion to the comments she received. Then she said she would leave with her dignity...yet proceeds on to a barrage of flip offs, bleeps and saying she was going in to "actressing." Uhm, yeah, I think that "dignity" ship has sailed, Hon.

Temptress...I was so impressed with how sweet Simon was to her. He is not the ogre everyone makes him out to be.

The stalker song was really creepy...yet strangely hilarious. "If she were Columbo I would Peter Falk her...If she were Willona form Good Times, I'd Jimmy Walk-her...If she were a bathtub, I would caulk her." Clever. Disturbing and creepy, but clever.

Princess Leia (okay, I have no idea how to spell that. I am not a Star Wars groupie...sorry)...she was a self proclaimed "dork," who then had a major meltdown about being a "dork." If you are so unhappy with that moniker, let me offer some advice...don't dress like a movie character any day other than October 31st. Also, if you are going for general sympathy for your "dorkiness" don't drop the f-bomb in front of the grandparents. It's not cool. Oh, and don't dis the other girls for being "imitations" when, in fact, you are dressed up like a movie character. Do you know what the word imitation means?

You know, it's fine to be a self-proclaimed dork. The only problem is when you are a half-assed dork. If you want to dress up like a Star Wars character then do it, and be proud. Embrace your dorkhood. Don't flaunt your dorkhood, then cry and whine and go all poor me after you've done it.

Oh, and that chest/stomach/back waxing had to hurt. I cringe at the thought. I myself have never mastered the art of waxing. I am strictly a razor and tweezers girl. I tried to wax my eyebrows once. I stupidly waxed them both up at the same time. After pulling the wax off of one, I thought I might permanently leave the wax on the other. I wondered how long it would take for the wax to wear off on it's own. Would it be there for the rest of my natural life, or just 10 years or so? After debating this issue for the better part of an hour, I bit the bullet and ripped off the second eyebrow. I have eschewed waxing ever since.

Oh, a final thought...CO thinks the Oregon log-cabin girl is prettier than Carrie Underwood. I disagree. Opinions?

Lack of Committment...

or Songs Everyone Should Know / iTunes Tuesday Trivia.

Okay, I can't blog daily. I just can't. No matter what list I try to make or plan I try to incorporate, something comes up. I'm just not a daily blogging kind of girl.

To that end, I have no excuse for missing yesterday's songs everyone should own blog except my extreme lameness. Lame-ity, lame lame lame.

So, I am hereby combining the Songs Everyone Should Own and the iTunes Tuesday theme into a trivia thing for this week. Who the hell knows what I will do with it next week. Probably no one cares, either, so...

Everyone of these songs is by an artist named Bill or Billy, Will, Willie, or William somewhere in their name, AND every song is on my Songs Everyone Should Own list. Here goes:

1) If "you put the magic in me," and "I feel the magic when we do what we do," what are you?

2) If you got a call from an old friend, with whom you had been real close, where is he living now, and what does he do? He gives them a stand up routine in LA (My Life, Billy Joel) - Joel

3) "Son, how did you get in this condition?" Carrying on a family tradition (Family Tradition, Hank Williams Jr.) - Joel

4) If "that stained glass curtain you're hiding behind never lets in the sun," what is your name? Virginia (Only the Good Die Young, Billy Joel) - Joel (and loved the editorializing, by the way)

5) If you'd sell your soul for her, for money to burn with her, what did she cry, and when? In the midnight hour, she cried "more more more" (Rebel Yell, Billy Idol) - Joel

6) If they call you "Lovin' Dan" and you "rock 'em, roll 'em all night long," what are you?

Bonus question (This is a multi-parter):

If we're all in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feeling alright, provide information about the following characters: (All questions from Piano Man, Billy Joel)

a) What is the old man sitting next to you drinking? What does he
want you to play? tonic and gin...a memory

b) What is the bartenders name? What two things is he quick
with? What does he want to be, if he could get out of this
place? John...a joke and the light of your smoke...a movie star

c) What does Paul do for a living? real estate novelist

d) To whom is Paul speaking, and what does he do for a
living? Davy, who is still in the Navy

e) What is the waitress practicing? politics

f) What drink are they all sharing? What is it better than? lonliness...drinking alone

g) What do they say when they put money in the tip jar? "Man, what are you doing here?"

All of the bonus answers were guessed by Alice. Good Job Alice and Joel! One to go!

No Surrender

This entry is part work blog, part songs everyone should own. I'm not going to try and make up for the missed days, because today is just about one song.

No Surrender - Bruce Springsteen

The thing with Springsteen seems to be you love him or you loathe him. His raspy 3-packs-a-day voice is kind of an acquired taste. Personally, I love him, and you will see at least one more song from him on this list before it is over.

This song, though...it's all about the one lyric:

No retreat, baby, no surrender.

I play this song when I'm pissed off, sad or depressed. It's fortifying.

I am still suffering the vestiges of this career crisis that began about a year and a half ago, and although in many ways it is coming to an end (seeing as how I've made my decision, and abandoned all of my other options), the doubts linger. Yesterday some events at the office called these doubts to the forefront.

No, it wasn't the lava lamps. Okay, it wasn't just the lava lamps.

Something happened here about a year and a half ago that set the whole career crisis in motion. There was an issue that almost split the firm in two. I was asked to pick my side. I did. I did NOT pick the side everyone thought I would. I DID pick the side I thought was right. There was no agenda on my part.

The group with which I work most closely felt I had betrayed them. It was a political nightmare.

While this has been to some extent resolved (the firm did not split), the group with which I work most closely has never quite forgiven me, and on occasion, I still get backlash from this. Yesterday, was one of those backlash days.

Each time it happens, I am frustrated, upset and just plain pissed off. The whole thing is so high school, I start trying to remember my locker combination and wonder where I put my algebra homework . Each time it happens I want to tell them all to fuck off, pack my office and start over.

But I don't.

Instead, I rail to my two co-workers, whom I trust, and who help me through these things. One agrees with me completely and helps build up my righteous anger; the other is all logic and sense, and talks me out of my tree. Then I go home and rail to CO who rails with me, on my behalf. Then I call my mommy, who gives me comfort.

And the next day I come back to this hell with fluorescent lighting, and I play this song, and I am ready to start again.

No retreat, baby, no surrender.

Lava Love

Not even one week into my resolution to blog daily, I have fallen off the wagon. This one wasn't totally my fault, since I was computerless for a few days whilst I moved to my new office.

I am officially moved into the bat cave...since it is the only office in our collective suite with no windows...lucky me. It is, however, bigger than my old office. Plus it has a nice new workstation that I got to help design, so it is exactly how I wanted it. And I have some built in bookshelves that I didn't have before. All in all, it isn't so bad.

Except we now keep blowing a circuit...it happened four times today, and everyone is blaming my lava lamps, so I have been forced to turn them off.

Like those two tiny little 40 watt bulbs are overloading the circuit. I'm sure that is it.

Okay, I'm not an electrician, so it might be it, but I am stubbornly refusing to believe it. I love my lava lamps. They bring me joy. I retired the old faded one when I moved to the new space, and bought two brand new ones...the traditional lava one is black, and the other one is all pink & glittery. Just like me!

Look, I am an accountant...very little around here is pink and glittery. I can't give it up. I just can't. Besides, I am the only one who would agree to move into the bat cave. You can't expect me to give up views of the outside world and lava. That is simply wrong! Wrong, I tell ya!

Tax season might be a thing of horror for the interns if my lava lamps are confiscated.

I'm just sayin'.

Songs Everyone Should Own - January 7

I won't be doing weekends until February. Believe me, it will be here soon enough. In the mean time...weekdays only.

Nights on Broadway - Bee Gees

Nightfly mentioned the Bee Gees in a comment on a previous post, so I thought it was a good time to throw them into the mix (an all alphabetical, too), because there is definitely some mandatory Bee Gees out there! My pick is Nights on Broadway, which is also my award winner for the best stalker song of all time.

Now some of you may argue that Every Breath You Take is the best stalker song, and I will admit, it deserves consideration. But where Every Breath You Take has a straight up scary stalker, claiming threatening things like "you belong to me," the Nights on Broadway stalker stalks, then absolves himself of guilt all in a few short lines.

Here we are
In a room full of strangers
Standing in the dark
Where your eyes couldn't see me

Well, I had to follow you
Though you did not want me to
But that won't stop my lovin' you
I can't stay away

Blamin' it all on the nights on Broadway

This is much less threatening, because it isn't his fault, you see. It's the nights on Broadway's fault, and he just can't stay away, so the stalking is all okay.

At least this is what he tells the judge when he gets hauled in for violating his retraining order.

The Hardest Lesson

Things that scare the bejebus out of me? Okay let’s see…there’s being buried alive, grasshoppers and clowns with chainsaws.

Oh, and reading on my son’s Myspace page that he got married three days ago. Married…to a girl he’s known two weeks.

That’s the stuff of nightmares right there.

Now CO and I have a good relationship with Orin. He just turned 21, and now that he doesn’t live under our roof, we don’t have to argue about things like piggy rooms, dirty dishes, unfinished chores, wasted food, time and money. We are past all of the teenage bullshit, and we actually enjoy each others’ company.

So I am thinking he would never do this. He wouldn’t get married and not tell us. He wouldn’t.

But then I started thinking some more.

Orin is a wonderful kid on many levels. But he is impulsive. And we do have the occasional issues with both maturity and responsibility…or the lack thereof. Also he tends to fall in love rather quickly, and become certain…absolutely, positively certain, that this time, he is really and truly in love. Really.

So I ask myself again…could Orin possibly do something this bone-headed?

You betcha!

I try not to panic. I think of calling CO. I think of calling Orin’s younger brother Marvin…he would know for sure. Instead I call Orin, and ask him if he needs to tell me something.

He laughs, “You read the Myspace!”

Uhm, you think?

He assures me this is a joke, meant to freak out their friends, and, I suspect, piss off his ex-girlfriend. I was an unintentional target.

Orin: “Do you really think I would do that without telling you?”

Me: “Well, knowing a lecture would be forthcoming if you told us, yeah, I think you might.”

He assured me if he was ever love struck enough to warrant a quickie wedding in Las Vegas, he would endure the lecture, and tell us first.

Orin: “It’s not as if you could stop me. So I’d let you say what you had to say about it first.”

He said this in a very unthreatening way, mind, but it is still there all the same. We can’t stop them! We cannot stop them!

It comes to a certain point in their lives, and we just can’t stop them from making these huge, monumental choices that given a tiny nudge in the wrong direction, can quickly become huge, monumental mistakes.

You have to let them live their lives…especially when it comes to love, or risk losing them forever. It doesn’t matter that you have loved them longer than this girl (or boy).

Then I remember being his age, and being in love, and probably putting my parents through the very same paces. I never threatened to get married to someone I had known two weeks, but I did threaten to walk away from my best (and only) post-graduate job opportunity for love. It would have been a monstrously stupid thing to do, but my parents couldn’t tell me anything. Surely they had never loved as I loved, or they would understand, right?

Turns out that they had loved as I loved, and that’s how they knew…love does not conquer all. For example, it does not conquer rent, or hunger, nor does it buy a new clutch for your old car. And love does not conquer the fights that inevitably come when troubles are high and funds are low. So I took that job, and I learned a lesson.

Heartbreak is painful. Committed relationships are not all love and sex. Love does not, in fact, conquer all. And sex most certainly doesn't.

But the thing is, I learned the lesson. My parents did not learn it for me.

And we have to let our kids learn it for themselves too, no matter how badly we want to protect them.

We can strap them in car seats, and put bicycle helmets on their heads. But they have not yet invented the safety device that can protect them from heartbreak. We cannot simply tell them how hard real life is, and expect them to understand.

They have to learn the hard way. And we have to watch…like our parents before us, and their parents before them. Which is the hardest lesson of all, I think.

Songs Everyone Should Own - January 4

Mandy - Barry Manilow

I have admitted (at least on the old blog) to being a fanilow. I can't help it. I just love him. So I HAD to include at least one Manilow song on this list. My favorite Manilow song is actually Weekend in New England. Or maybe Looks Like We Made It. I can't decide. But when I made this list, neither of those songs really fit, and I kept coming back to Mandy.

Maybe because it is quintessential Manilow.

Or maybe because secretly, I listen to this song and I remember my former loves...especially the ones that done me wrong, and I can picture them sitting there all forlorn and miserable, finally knowing they had make the biggest mistake of their lives in letting me go. And I smile.

Too late, boys, I found somebody better, whom I love with all my heart. You had your chance. Ta ta!

Then the song ends, and so does the delusion. I am actually in touch with a few of my exes (one is even a client of mine now), and they are all perfectly happy with their lives and their wives. And I am happy for them. Truly. Okay...mostly.

Lookin' in their eyes
I see a memory
I never realized
How happy you made me, oh Mandy

Songs Everyone Should Own - January 1-3

Since we are already at January 3, I thought I'd start off with three songs, just to keep us on track.

I will sort of be starting in alphabetical order by artist, just because I am glancing down the playlist here, but I will jump around as the mood strikes.

Dancing Queen - ABBA

One of the all time best songs ever. Seriously. It is one of my ringtones.

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You come in to look for a King
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the music's high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...
You are the Dancing Queen,

Every woman out there has likely had the chance to identify with this song at one time or another. Who doesn't want to be the danging queen, at least once, in their life?


You Shook Me All Night Long, AC/DC

Along the same lines as Dancing Queen, I think every woman has wanted to be this woman at least once in their life, too.

She was a fast machine,
She kept her motor clean,
She was the best damn woman that I ever seen...

But the walls were shaking,
The earth was quaking,
My mind was aching,
And we were making it and you...

Shook me all night long,

When I hear this song, I am instantly back in college. I loved my college years in a way I cannot possibly explain, so anything that takes me back there is near and dear to my heart. My roommate and I loved this song...deeply. This song, and one other that will likely appear on this list in the future, always inspired us to, let's say become uninhibited at which point we would shout "I think it's time to dance on the table!" and we would jump up on the nearest coffee table and dance with abandon. It didn't matter where we were. Luckily, we were all in college, and no one cared about their furniture in those days.

The point is, I have rarely been so unselfconscious in my life as when this song was playing, and I was standing center stage on that table with my best friend dancing for no one or everyone. It didn't matter. In that moment, I was "a fast machine." I was "walking double time on the seduction line." I was "one of a kind."

I'm sure the alcohol had absolutely nothing...nothing to do with it.

Oh, and this one is also one of my ringtones...used to herald a call from my former co-table dancer.


Heat of the Moment - Asia

Another song from my younger days, that I can only identify with now that I am older and wiser, looking back on those days.

One look from you and I would fall from grace
And that would wipe this smile right from my face

Do you remember when we used to dance
And incidence arose from circumstance
One thing lead to another we were young
And we would scream together songs unsung

It was the heat of the moment
telling me what your heart meant
the heat of the moment shone in your eyes

I can remember feeling like that. How one look from someone...the right someone, could send you spinning. It all seemed so important, so urgent, so uncontrollable. Good judgment sometimes took a back seat. I was so young and foolish, and still growing into these adult emotions. It was such fun...then, but even if I could, I wouldn't go back to all that drama and angst. Would you?

Songs Everyone Should Own - A Prologue

I was running through my iTunes playlist again the other day, a thing I really love to do, looking for a few items for my good friend, C. She had requested that I...uhmmmm, let's say recommend some songs for her to acquire. Let's also say I had no part at all in said acquisition.

Anyway, I went beyond the few she had requested, and began compiling a list of songs I thought everyone should own so that she could some how, some way, acquire them. Ahem. I told her I would provide her with a few new "lists" every so often.

Now I know some of these songs, she will hate. Others will make her laugh, groan, shake her head in amazement, whatever. Either way, I will have fun making these "lists" for her.

The more I thought about this, I was inspired by Michele's varied music and photo projects. Those of you who read regularly know I have like one blog idea a week, if I'm lucky (note I did not say good idea...just idea). So to fill in the other days of the week, I decided to a song a day.

A song a day of music I think everyone should own...or at least listen to at least once.

Don't freak...I'm not telling you you must like it. In fact, like C, I fully understand that you will even hate some of it. The controversy is all part of the fun. I welcome the haters to post their criticism.

I am warning you...my musical tastes are not as expansive, colorful or varied as Michele Still, I think I can put together a good list by the end of tax season. This will give me something to look forward to, and post about each day of my miserable working season, and it will provide C with an expanded musical selection by the time we are done.

I will do regular blogs too, when inspired, and I may even get back to the TV list I started way back when, but never finished, just to mix things up.

So there is the explanation for song of the day deal. Thanks for your indulgence.

Stoops

While this year's Fiesta Bowl was not the back and forth thriller of last year, it was still a great game...if you are not a Sooner fan, which I am definitely NOT. The announcers across the board said West Virginia didn't have a chance. You've got to love an underdog (except when they are playing your team). Good for WVU bad for Oklahoma...again!

Which leads to my question. Did anyone else here the announcers of last nights game draw a comparison between Pete Carroll and Bob Stoops, saying something to the effect of "Bob Stoops has found himself in many of the same situations as Pete Carroll over the past few years in BCS Bowl games?"

Now I am paraphrasing here, as I can't remember the exact quote, but I'm close, and my reaction this morning is the same as last night. WTF?

Seriously...W.T.F?

Bob Stoops wishes he has been in the same situation as Pete Carroll in BCS Bowl games, or to quote my dad, he wishes he was a pimple on Pete Carroll's ass.

Let's compare, shall we?

Pete Carrol's first year at USC was the 2001 season, in which neither he, nor Bob Stoops' Sooners made it to a BCS Bowl game. Year 1 ends in a tie.

In the 2002 season, USC defeated Iowa in the Orange Bowl by 21 points (38 to 17) and ended the season ranked 4th in the nation. Oklahoma played in the Rose Bowl, and defeated Washington State by 20 points (34 to 14) , finishing the season ranked 5th.

I will give those announcers the edge on these first two seasons. Obviously, Carroll and Stoops were as close as could be. Still, I must point out, being a USC fan and all, that Carroll does have the edge here. I'm just sayin'.

But this is where the similarity ends, my friends.

In the 2003 season, USC played Michigan in the Rose Bowl, which they won 28 to 14, finishing 1st in the AP Poll. Oklahoma lost to LSU in the Sugar Bowl 21 to 14, finishing the season ranked 3rd.

In the 2004 season, USC won the Orange Bowl, which was the national championship game by a score of 55 to 19, and finished 1st in all polls. Yes, that's a 36 point win. Who did they beat? Uhm, Oklahoma! Not so much similar that year, huh?

In the 2005 season...(I am shaking my head and crying at the very mention of the 2005 season, thank you very much) USC (sniff) suffered their only loss of the season to that school that shall not be named, in the Rose Bowl. The final score was 41 to 38 (sniff...wail!!!). They finished the season ranked 2nd. But as bad as all that was...Okalhoma was worse. They didn't play in a BCS at all, and finished the season ranked 22 with a record of 8 and 4.

In the 2006 season, USC defeated Michigan in the Rose Bowl, 32 to 18, and finished the season ranked 4th. Oklahoma lost the Fiesta Bowl to Boise State (which was the most exciting football game I have ever seen, by the way) by a score of 43 to 42, and finished the season ranked 11th.

Finally, in 2007, USC beat Illinois in the Rose bowl 49 to 17, while Oklahoma lost to West Virginia 48 to 28. I dare say USC will jump ahead of Oklahoma in the end of season rankings.

So let's recap...USC is 5 and 1 in BCS bowl games under Pete Carroll. Oklahoma is 1 and 4 during that same time period. That, coupled with the 36 point beat down USC put on Oklahoma in the 2004 season, makes me wonder how anyone could ever say that Pete Carroll and Bob Stoops have been in similar situations the past few years with regard to BCS Bowl games.

Seriously. WTF? That is just stoop-id.

Bowlicious

Happy New Year!

I spent the holiday, as always, with beer and snacks and bowl games.

Obviously, I enjoyed the Rose Bowl, but the one I want to talk about is the Sugar Bowl. I am neither a Hawaii fan, or a Georgia fan. I don't follow either team regularly, nor did I have a vested interest in the outcome. I was hoping Hawaii would win, or at least made a strong showing, because when it isn't my team playing, I love an underdog. Also, I hate giving the BCS any more fuel for their argument that the system is fair, when everyone knows it is revenue driven and nothing more. Obviously, that did not happen, as Hawaii got their asses handed to them.

What I was really disappointed in though, was the performance of the Georgia players, coach and fans.

Not the football part...Georgia was clearly the dominant team, and they played very well. No, it was their sportsmanship in which I was disappointed. On several occasions, I saw Hawaii players offer a hand to help up a Bulldog who was down on the field, and each time the hand was obviously and rudely ignored as if it were poison.

Then there was the cheap shot by a Georgia player late in the 4th quarter of a game they had already won. A Hawaii player legally blocked the Bulldog during the play, then ran off towards the rest of the action. While his back was turned, the Bulldog hit the Hawaii player from behind...an illegal play that was unnecessary and retaliatory; a cheap shot akin to a sucker punch. No flag was thrown.

The Georgia coach made two decisions I found dubious as well. In a game that was already well in hand, the coach challenged a call that would have given Hawaii a first down. It mattered not in the grand scheme of things, but Mark Richt obviously felt it necessary to add salt to the wounds. He also seemed to feel that way late in the fourth quarter when he went for a touchdown instead of kicking a filed goal, to try an add even more points to the beat down. They did not get that touchdown, but he still tried, and that was the point. Richt also had his "Sugar Bowl Champions" hat already in his hand, pointing obviously towards June Jones when he ran out to shake the Hawaii coach's hand after the game. It seemed to me like an extra little "fuck you" that bordered on obnoxious.

And worst of all were the fans, getting together a rousing chant of "underrated" somewhere in the third quarter. First of all, you are kind of insulting yourselves here. If Hawaii was in fact overrated, then you should have been giving them a good ass-kicking, and therefore your team's performance on the field was not all that impressive. Second, Hawaii was undefeated coming into their first BCS bowl game, all on a shoestring budget that is but a fraction of what the Georgia budget must be. I doubt Georgia would have found themselves in such a favorable position with such limited funds. Either way, the "overrated" chant is just flat out rude and uncalled for. Celebrate your teams success...that's great, and part of the fun of the game, but to do that by insulting an already defeated team is poor sportsmanship, and there is just no other word for it.