Idol Chit Chat...Top 8...Of Tears or Poop

Oh good Lord, inspirational song night. I should have turned the channel. I despise inspirational song night almost as much as Pauler's 3-sizes-too-small dress. What the hell was that? I could hardly concentrate on the horrible music for staring at that dress. She was visibly uncomfortable. She couldn't hold her arms at a proper angle for fear of her breasts springing free. It was torture to watch.

In fact, I think torture was tonights theme...

Michael Johns sang one of my all time favorite songs, and it was only okay. I hated the little screaming bit at the end. Last week he was awesome. I downloaded last week's song, and love it, love it, love it. This week was such a disappointment after that.

I can't remember the order in which they performed, so I'm just going to skip around.

Syesha was deluded to think there will be no comparisons between her and the original artists of the songs she chooses. Either way, I wasn't impressed. I am not a fan of Fantasia either, so that didn't help. And Randy really thinks Fantasia is the best Idol contestant ever? Bleh. I am shaking my head in wonderment.

Kristy Lee was actually very good last night. I like the song she chose, and she sang it very well. Also, she looked fantastic...which can't hurt in the vote department. Could be that is why she is still around. You think?

Jason Castro...I do love this version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and he is doing it well...except for the lyrics blunder at the very beginning. Uhm, it's "there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby", not there's a dream that I dreamed of once in a lullaby. How do you dream a dream in a lullaby? That's just ridiculous. But he pulled it off. You didn't see him panic. I think he may have been my favorite of the night.

David Cook...dude, I love you, but uh-uh. That was chaos. I have to say, part of the problem with David Cook's song was the back up singers. there were waaaaaaaay too many of them last night. What it's inspiration night, so we need to bring out an entire church choir for back up? They drowned out the performers and you couldn't hear properly. Dial it down a notch with the back up!

Carly had a similar problem, although that wasn't her only problem. I don't understand what all the uproar was about Simon commenting on her appearance last week. He was only trying to help her...and he was RIGHT. Her clothes ARE hideous. And this week he flat out lied to appease the public...she looked horrible again! That tucked in tank top with the big 80's slanting stripes, and the hideous gold belt...I shudder! I know, I know...the 80's are back. The question is WHY?

The 80's are my era...I was in high school and college in the 80's. I was teh cool in my skinny jeans, leg warmers and day-glow top. I rocked. But when I see pictures of my big hair and my three pairs of socks, all color coordinated to match my off the shoulder sweater AND my eyeshadow, I have to wonder why anyone would want to revisit this decade of fashion...ever!

Okay, back to Carly...I have a second question. Why do people insist upon singing Queen songs that are too big for them. Nobody sang, or performed like Freddie. You're just going to make yourself look weak if you can't pull it off. And she couldn't. It was terrible all around.

Brooke...it was, as Simon said, "a pleasant walk in the park." It didn't knock me off my feet, but it didn't suck, either. It was eh. Good eh, but still just eh.

Then, of course, there is David A. He must have been wiggling in anticipation this week. Inspirational Song Week! Inspirational Song Week!! A sanctioned request to sing a boring ass ballad with a message for the people. My God, I'll bet he peed himself in excitement! I can't say much more. The second he began to sing, I fell into a coma so deep and complete, I only just woke up to write this. Okay, I may be exaggerating just a little, since he wasn't the last singer, but...

I don't like him, okay? I don't! I don't care how well he can sing. I don't care how many screaming tweeners send him postcards begging to be his prom date. I don't care how many little old ladies want to pinch his fat baby cheeks. He bores the snot out of me. Every time they talk to him, he looks like he is 1) about to cry, or 2) smelling poop.

You think I'm kidding? Watch next time they are interviewing him. Watch his face! Tears or poop...you be the judge.