I maintain that I am not really a country music fan. Having said that, you may be surprised at how many country songs found their way onto my 101 songs list. I was surprised by it myself.
I am also surprised by the spelling of the word surprised, every time I spell check it. Why do I always want to drop the first "r"? I say su-prise, not surprise. Is it me? Does anyone out there pronounce that first "r"?
Anyway, that is so not the point of this post. Where was I?
Oh, yeah...so all evidence to the contrary, I maintain that I am not a country music fan. So why this song? I actually know the answer to this one. It is 4 lines of lyric...
"We lived and learned, life threw curves,
There was joy, there was hurt...
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts "
Marriage is so much harder than you ever think it is going to be. As a young person, and maybe this is just a girl thing, but I don't think so, you watch movies and television or you read books, and they are filled with these seemingly perfect relationships...true love...sweeping romance, and you get the notion that love conquers all. All you have to do is find your one true everlasting love, and everything that is broken will be fixed. Perfection will be yours.
Of course the logical side of our mind knows that is not possible, but the illogical, in-love, optimistic side hopes against all hope that it is. And for a few moments...it is true, and you start to believe it.
Then something happens...maybe a disagreement, or some disappointment...it may even be you disappointing yourself, or it may be no one's fault at all, but shitty things in life simply happening to you, but the disillusionment comes all the same. And suddenly you look at this person, this "love of your life", this "soul mate," and you really see them for the first time. The human. The imperfect person.
You are faced with the reality that nothing is perfect...including you.
Marriage is so much harder than you ever think it's going to be, but it is also so much more than you ever think it's going to be. I could never have fathomed in those youthful daydreams of true love, what it really meant to have someone love you, flaws and all. To know that person is going to see the very worst you have to offer...your worst habits, your worst temper tantrum, your worst mistake, your worst bout of the stomach flu, and they will still be there the next day, loving you in spite of it. And to know when you feel beat up by life...money problems, job problems, kid problems, health problems, whatever, this is the person who will defend you, hold you up, back you up. Whatever you need them to do, they will do it.
It is incomprehensible, unimaginable, and incomparable.
That is what this song reminds me of with those few little lines. We lived and learned. There was joy and there was hurt. And some days we even broke each other's hearts. Anything worth having is worth earning, and you do earn it, and it is hard, but it is worth it!
My oldest son is getting married in less than two weeks. I doubt he knows any of this, but I hope he is ready to know this. I hope he can know this.
2 comments:
Amen Sister. That is really a good song. Dad & I love it too!!!!
That brought a tear to my eye. You summed it up perfectly...as usual.
I am also sitting here saying the word surprise over and over trying to figure out how I say it. I don't know now. Next time I say it I will have to pay more attention. I know I do not want to drop the r when I spell it. Maybe this is what your blog was all about???
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