I was saving this for next week, but since Alaina got voted off last night, I have to come to the confessional this week. Dammit!
I have been known to point out hypocrisy on this blog, so it is only fair that I admit to it when I am guilty of it myself...so forgive me readers, for I have sinned.
Wednesday night I am watching Alaina perform "Hopelessly Devoted," which is another song I don't think anyone should attempt to sing. It is hard to hit those high notes at all, and harder still to hit them with the purity of Olivia. Alaina didn't even try to hit them, which of course seems like a sell out. I also agreed with Simon...her blue dress was a tad prom-ish, but she is only seventeen, so we should forgive her. Certainly her performance was not as bad as Amanda's who miraculously escaped the axe, so what was it that was bothering me about her? What?
It's the gap in her two front teeth. The gap is bugging me. Really bugging me.
Those of you who know me in real life now understand the need for this confession.
Me: "Oh my god! That gap in her teeth. I hate to say this, but it's bugging me."
CO silently looking at me thinking "hypocrite!" but not saying it aloud.
Me: "Is my gap that noticeable?"
CO: "I don't notice it at all...now."
Now? We were so close and he had to add the now?
"But you used to notice it?"
He shrugged noncommittally.
Of course he did. Mine is twice the size of Alaina's. I am a complete and total hypocrite for daring to comment on the gap in her teeth. I am awful.
Thursday at work, a co-worker and I were discussing the A.I., and she mentioned the gap in Alaina's teeth bugging her, too. I didn't comment, as my lips were clamped together in an effort to hide my own offending gap. But my coworker pointed to her own tiny gap and said, "Like I should be talking about someone else's gap!"
I felt better. Hypocrisy loves company, I suppose.
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In a related note, during previous shows, CO has made the comment that Alaina and Kady looked like they just stepped out of the trailer park. So last night, when Ryan called the two of them to the center, CO sang "Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside...'round the outside...'round the outside."
It made me laugh...and earned me 150 negative karma points, to go with the 500 from the night before. I need to get a new hobby. I am racking up a karmic bill I might never be able to pay with this A.I. stuff.
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4 comments:
I was seriously laughing my ass off here imagining how distracted and annoyed you must get at family reunion surrounded by gaps! And just when I was settling down, I read about your CO's singing and lost it again! I don't watch AI but I might have to start.
Lori, I don't normally GET distracted and annoyed by the gap...that's why this was so strange!
I don't notice it at all on myself, or among "my people."
A.I. is always good for some laughs...and negative karma points. Watch at you own risk!
Your dad just said it is a good thing some of the bigger gappers in the family don't read your blog, and I said like you. He was laughing so hard he was wiping away tears. To know you is to love you my dear. I just knew your blog was going to be about the gap.
Its okay to comment because you have the gap, but CO that was SLM
Like Lori, I'm LMAO.
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