Devistation

In the wee hours of Christmas morning, my cousin and frequent blog commenter, Lori, suffered a massive heart attack and passed away. She was only 42 years old.

I wish you all could have known her in real life. She was married to my cousin, but she was every bit part of our family. She was the life of every party, hilariously funny, intelligent, kind and completely beautiful inside and out. She was a wife, a mother, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister and a friend. We all loved her so.

Her marriage to my cousin has been such a great example to follow. After 20 plus years of marriage, they were still totally in love. I have no words to express the sorrow feel for Bob right now, or for her daughter and son who are only 22 and 16 respectively.

The last comment she made on this blog was on this post. She said "having grandkids is going to rock." I don't need to tell you how cruel it is that she will never know this joy...more cruel even than the timing of her passing, Christmas Day.

My heart is simply breaking.

I know we are not meant to understand these things, but the idea that the Lord woks in mysterious ways is empty comfort right about now, just as my words are empty comfort to those who love her. I feel so helpless in the face of such pain and tragedy.

This blog will not be the same without her. Our family will not be the same without her. The world will not be the same without her.

Rest in peace, beloved Lori.

Christmas Traditions

This is the fourth year in a row that I have gotten sick the week before Christmas.

I've got to say, I am NOT digging this new tradition.

In case I don't get back on here this week...I hope you all have a Merry Christmas (or whatever winter holiday you celebrate). May you enjoy the warmth of family, food and fun, remembering all the reasons why we celebrate, yet still reveling in a visit from Santa Claus.

Anticipating Santa

Nightfly has a post up about the great Santa debate, and he says it more perfectly than I ever could, so instead, I am going to share a few quotes from my almost-3-year-old granddaughter from the past few weeks as regards Santa. They are good for demonstrating that "abundant childhood wonder" to which Nightfly so eloquently refers.

#1 - I was standing outside in mid November, seeing the Puddin' Pop (PP) and her parents off one evening when I noticed PP looking up at the sky.

MM: "What 'cha lookin' at, PP?"

PP: "Santa's not up in the sky!"

MM: "No, PP. Not yet. It's too early."

PP: "Oh. Okay. I'll check later."

#2 - Thanksgiving day

PP: "Coma! Guess what? I saw Santa yesterday, and he was not up in the sky...he was at the mall!"

#3 - Last week I was yelling at our new dog (which I just realized I hadn't told you all about...so hey, we got a new dog...more on that later) to settle down.

MM: "Dingo! Stop it! Settle down!"

PP: "Dingo, Be good! Santa's watching you!"

#4 - Yesterday at the mall, PP was being a typical terrible two-year-old, and none of the usual warnings to "straighten up" were working. So my dad, who is visiting from the Midwest, takes her outside for awhile. He pulled out his cell phone and pretended to call Santa. When he "hung up" the phone, PP sticks out her bottom lip as says:

"I can't believe you did that, Poppy! Call him back and tell him I'm sorry!"

December Insanity

I have not fallen off the planet. I have, however, been busier than I have ever before been in the month of December...and that's sayin' somethin'.

Last week I had to give an hour and a half presentation for a bunch of CPAs. Two hours before the presentation started, I found out the other presenter had hurt his back carrying a Christmas tree, and I had to pinch hit his portion of the presentation (for which I had not prepared). An hour and a half turned into a three hour presentation, and my calm turned into panic.

In addition to this presentation, since we last "spoke" I have attended one board meeting, a club meeting and four office meetings. I have prepared tax projections ad naseum for some clients, been involved in a cloak and dagger incident (I'll tell you later), and had to handle my regular work.

I have also attended two Christmas parties, one play (A Christmas Carol...of course), prepared my house for guests (my parents...who are now here), and spent a day at Disneyland with CO, the parents, kids and grandkids.

Notice I have not mentioned any shopping, baking, or other required holiday activities. 10 shopping days to go, and I am so screwed. Thank God Disneyland was part of their Christmas present, but I am still in big trouble.

And my Christmas tree still has no ornaments on it! Sheesh!

Needless to say, this is why I have not posted...or even read anyone else's blog for that matter. I'd say I'll do better this week, but with only 10 shopping days to go, that would be a big fat lie.

10! T-E-N! Holy crap! I have to go buy something. Or wrap something. Or bake something. Or decorate something.

Or something.

Stolen Monday Meme

I've seen this here, and somewhere else too, but I can't remember where. Sorry if I left you off.

You are supposed to bold the items you have actually done. Of course, I had to add my own commentary (in italics) here and there.

Started my own blog - Self evident no?
Slept under the stars - In my backyard when I was a kid
Played in a band - I have no musical talent whatsoever
Visited Hawaii - Not yet
Watched a meteor shower
Given more than I can afford to charity
Been to Disneyland/world - Both! In fact, I am going to Disneyland next weekend! Woo hoo!
Climbed a mountain - Are you kidding? That would entail more effort than I care to expend.
Held a praying mantis - I've never even seen one in person
Sung a solo - In my car. I don't think that's what they meant.
Bungee jumped - Hell no!
Visited Paris - As long as I am married to CO, this will never happen.
Watched lightning at sea - Hmmmm. Maybe. I won't count it though.
Taught myself an art from scratch - Define art?
Adopted a child - Not formally or officially, but as the step-mother to three boys, I sort of did.
Had food poisoning - Twice! Unfortunately.
Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - Never been to New York either.
Grown my own vegetables - Hahaha!
Seen the Mona Lisa in France - Not likely. See Paris above.
Slept on an overnight train - Denver to Creston, Iowa
Had a pillow fight - yes but contrary to CO's overactive imagination, I never "accidentally" kissed my college roommate during one of these adventures.
Hitchhiked - Noooo! I was way too scared!
Taken a sick day when not ill
Built a snow fort
Held a lamb
Gone skinny dipping - No one wants to see that. Believe me.
Run a marathon - Are you kidding? WHY would I do that?
Ridden in a gondola in Venice - I guess I need to be more specific...I've never been to Europe at all.
Seen a total eclipse
Watched a sunrise or sunset
Hit a home run - I was a pitcher...not so much of a hitter. I always hit it to the 3rd baseman...always! I sucked!
Been on a cruise
Seen Niagara Falls in person - I've still bever been to New York
Visited the birthplace of my ancestors - or Europe
Seen an Amish community - But I have been to Pennsylvania and Iowa...the travel hot spots of the world
Taught myself a new language - Does piglatin count?
Had enough money to be truly satisfied - Does money make you truly satisfied?
Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - Since it is in Europe, I am going to say no.
Gone rock climbing - No! No mountains. No rocks. No climbing!
Seen Michelangelo's David - In a picture.
Sung karaoke - and very badly, I might add.
Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt - I've obviously never been anywhere...except Pennsylvania and Iowa
Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
Visited Africa - Guess what...never been! I know you're shocked.
Walked on a beach by moonlight
Been transported in an ambulance - Thank God, no!
Had my portrait painted - Ugh! My mom made me sit for THREE of them!
Gone deep sea fishing
Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - More with the Europe?
Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - What's this meme's fixation on Europe. Jeez! With one good vacation i could wipe out half this meme!
Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Gone to a drive-in theater - I used to love this! I wish they were still around!
Been in a movie - Uhm, home movies! And not THAT kind, so stop giggling!
Visited the Great Wall of China - Oh China this time? I've never been there either. Try again!
Started a business
Taken a martial arts class - But I could still kick your ass. You wanna step outside?
Visited Russia - Another fail!
Served at a soup kitchen
Sold Girl Scout Cookies
Gone whale watching - Does Sea World count? I didn't think so.
Gotten flowers for no reason - There is always a reason...my CO is awesome!
Donated blood, platelets or plasma
Gone sky diving - Again...Hell no!
Visited a Nazi concentration camp
Bounced a check - Unfortunately
Flown in a helicopter
Saved a favorite childhood toy - You mean like the stiffed dog named Rags who is at this very minute in my bedroom at home? Like that?
Visited the Lincoln Memorial - Ha! Gotcha! I HAVE been to D.C.! Surprise, surprise!
Eaten caviar - Ewwww! No!
Pieced a quilt - But I'd love to!
Stood in Times Square - I still haven't been to New York.
Toured the Everglades - While I HAVE been to Florida, we did not visit the Everglades. I don;t think. If we did, I don't remember it.
Been fired from a job - Never! Thankfully!
Seen the Changing of the Guard in London - I grow tired of these travel questions designed to make me feel lame!
Broken a bone - But only fractures...and only little bones, so maybe I shoudln't count this one.
Been on a speeding motorcycle - Not even on a stationary motorcycle!
Seen the Grand Canyon in person - I have no excuse for this one. I have lived with a day's drive my entire life, and have still never been. See, I AM LAME!
Published a book - Oh I wish!
Visited the Vatican - Still lame!
Bought a brand new car - Three times!
Walked in Jerusalem - L.A.M.E. Lame!
Had my picture in the newspaper - Yes! Hahaha! I need to find that clip! I was sitting outside the academy awards with a sign. I can't tell you what it said. I need to show you for full effect.
Read the entire Bible - I've had it read to me, but I've not read it myself.
Visited the White House - "We're walking. We're walking. We're stopping." Name that movie!
Killed and prepared an animal for eating - "That is why God inveted the A&P." Name THAT movie!
Had chickenpox - NO! Can you believe that? I am the only person I know who has never had it.
Saved someone's life - Only in the completely metaphorical sense.
Sat on a jury - Yes! It was hideous! As an accountant, I am a rational thinker and I just have no patience for people whose only logic is "just because I think so."
Met someone famous - When I was like 8 I got Tony Danza's autograph. I didn't exactly meet him though. But it was the 70's and I thought he was hot! Stop laughing...I was 8!
Joined a book club - But it was all about the having dinner and catching up with friends. Eventually, we jettisoned the books.
Lost a loved one - I love you, Grandma.
Had a baby
Seen the Alamo in person - No...but I remember it.
Swam in the Great Salt Lake - The only time I've ever been near it, is when I flew over it. Frnakly, I'm glad the plane stayed in the air and spared me that swim.
Been involved in a law suit - And let's keep it that way!
Owned a cell phone - Can't you hear my awesome ring tone now?
Been stung by a bee - Three times!
Ridden an elephant
Read all three volumes of the Lord of the Rings - But I've read all the Harry Potter books
Visited the Taj Mahal - I am so done with these travel questions.
Performed in a dance recital - No, but that would have been comedy for anyone watching!
Been on horseback while the horse jumped over something
Won an athletic competition - I wasn't always this lazy. I was a starter on a basketball team that went undefeated three years running. Oh, and I had the best pitching record (girls' fast-pitch softball) in the state of Nevada my junior year of high school. I know...that's not really a competition, but I still felt the need to brag.
Gotten a straight-A report card - More bragging. How obnoxious!
Prayed to Zeus - Just about everyone else...but not Zeus. Maybe I should try that.
Watched news coverage, rapt, to see what was going to happen - 9/11 comes to mind
Gotten lost in a building more than 500 years old - As you undoubtedly know by now, I have barely been out of the U.S. There are no buildings even near that old anywhere I've been. Except maybe some pueblos. But they don't let you actually get in them. Besides, they are pretty small, and hard to get lost in.
Kissed somebody milliseconds before bells started to ring - Perhaps metaphorical alram bells!

I haven't done much, apparently. Now that I am depressed beyond words at the failure that is my life, I guess I will sign off.

Happy Thanksgiving

...to everyone!

Be thankful...be happy...be stuffed!

The Mullet is Not Dead...It's at the NHRA Races

This is much later than promised, but finally my vacation post.

SNARK ALERT: If anyone is going to be offended by trailer park or redneck references or other such snark, I suggest you skip reading this post.

If you are still reading...don't balme me!

Every year in October we go to the NHRA races in Las Vegas. We camp and hang out and watch the races. It is a great little get away. I'm not as good with the camera as most of you all, but here are a few photos to set the stage.

If you have never been to the NHRA races, let me tell you they are teh awesome! That feeling you get deep in your stomach when a 7,000 horsepower engine blasts off. The unique smell of "top fuel" nitro that burns your eyes and nose so pleasantly. The beer. The fair food. The cute little drivers in their fire suits.

Speaking of which...may I present my NHRA boyfriend, Larry Dixon?

Okay, well his car anyway. Believe me, he's just as adorable out of the car. Almost. CO knows all about this, by the way, and he's fine with it. He likes the car, you see. Besides, my NHRA boyfriend made me love going to the races, so CO will live with that. Also, he has an NHRA girlfriend, Melanie Troxel. Funny, but I have no pictures of her. Go figure.

Another great thing about this trip...due to the proximity of the Las Vegas track to Nellis Air Force base, you get treated to a free air show in addition to the fast cars.

It is a great bonus...except when the whole flippin' fleet takes off at dawn. Between the planes and the cars, this isn't so much a restful vacation.

But even with all that wonder, the very best part of the races just might be the people watching. See, for a fast sport, things can move rather slowly if there is an oil down on the track or something. You have to learn to entertain yourself during the lulls in the action. But if you're a people watcher, there is entertainment aplenty.

Entire trailer parks empty out for an NHRA event. It is a place of Van Halen* concert t-shirts, ribbed, white, Wal-mart brand tank tops, tattoos and...mullets. If you thought the mullet was dead, you just haven't been to an NHRA race recently.

During one particularly long stretch of track maintenance, I pulled out my camera, and began randomly snapping photos. CO asked what I was doing. I quietly told him I was playing "I Spy a Mullet." He began to play, too. These gems weren't hard to spot, seeing as how they were sitting in the row in front of us:

The second one was subtle...he just wasn't embracing it like the first guy...but in my book, still a mullet. And the fun does not stop here. Oh no! There were more. So many more.

I'm not sure this is technically a mullet, but Dude...seriously.

This next one certainly qualifies, however. The ponytail kind of blends in, but focus on the dude in the yellow baseball cap, and I think you'll agree.

Oh, and this guy is livin' the life.

But wait...there's more!

You may need to zoom on this one. Long-sleeved grey t-shirt in the middle there. Yeah...that's a good one!

So there you have it...my mullet collection. All of these shots were taken in the span of an hour or so, and there were even more...believe me! But either I was not quick enough to snap a photo, or the subject was moving and the shot came out blurry, or I was too far away. Still, I think it is a fine collection, if I do say so myself.

I did manage to snap two other folks that amused me, as well. First, this guy:

He's kind of hard to see, but he's the one near the center with the short shorts, shaved legs, no socks and black dress shoes. Yes, you heard me those are black dress shoes! What the fuck is up with that?

And this one...this was the photo CO wanted me to take. I think he was a bit smitten with her.

CO said it was going to get a bit lost in translation, because the photo is not picking up her black bra underneath that white tank top there, and you cannot see her boyfriend's long pony tail (the mullet that got away), but you do get a shot of the cig, the tribal arm band tat, and the gut hanging over the belt.

Ahhh, the NHRA. You gotta love it.

Yes, of course I DO relaize we were there too. And for those of you with long memories, you might recall this post in which I admitted to some decidedly redneck behavior well worthy of any of these fine, mullet-sporting folks. What does that say about us? Frankly, I am certain that somewhere, my photo resides on a blog-full-o'-snark, and I simply remain blissfully ignorant.

I'm sure any snark thrown my way would be well deserved.

Oh, and while CO and I were there over Halloween, we decided NOT to wear our costumes (picture previously posted, but since deleted). We were pretty sure no one would get it.

*And yes, I like Van Halen. But still...

Joel Is The BEST!!

Let me say it again...Joel is teh awesome!

Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

On last Friday's Fuck Off Thread (FFOT), I proclaimed a hearty fuck off to the guy who was harassing my parents...a collection agent masquerading as an attorney. Many of you rallied to my support, threatening A Team tactics and all sorts of misery on this scum-sucking bastard. I can't tell you how much that support meant to me from all of you.

Then Joel took it one step further. He used his skills and knowledge to sniff out all kinds of useful information on this guy, this law firm, and various legal ramifications my parents can pursue.

Just last week, I was considering ending this blog. All of the political blogging wore me down, and I just wasn't feeling it. I forgot for a moment why this hobby is so valuable. It is the connections with other people that make this worthwhile.

Believe me...I'm feeling it now. I remember now.

So in case I don't tell you all enough, thank you! I am glad you are all here...a part of my life in a strange but important way. Even when we don't agree, I still learn valuable things from you, and frankly, I would miss you if you were gone. All of you.

Thanks again...especially you, Joel.

Veterans Day

Thank you to all those who have served this country, kept us safe, and made it a place where we can live free...even when that means doing incredibly stupid things.

I would like to especially honor some of my favorite men who are veterans...my daddy, my grandpa, my Uncle Jim, my cousin Dennis (who earned three purple hearts in Vietnam, and is still the most decorated soldier in his little corner of the world), my cousins Bill and Phil, my Uncle Tommy, my car club friends (Darwin, Ken, Ray, Ed, Norberto), my office partner, Tom, my dear friend's hubby, Doug, and my blog friend Cullen.*

You guys are made of awesome (to steal a quote from Nightfly)! Thanks just isn't enough for all of your sacrifices for this country.

*If I missed anyone...I am sorry. PLEASE let me know, because the oversight was not intentional.

Ugh!

I just spent three whole days interviewing interns. If I have to hear one more person tell me their greatest strength, I may have to stab them with my pencil. Seriously. No more.

But the upside of all this torture is that a) it is much better to be on my side of the table than theirs, and b) we had one crazy guy that, of course, I must share with you.

First, he had an odd facial tick that made him look like the Joker of Batman fame.

While I felt sincerely bad for him, it gave me the creeps. Shudder.

Then there was this...

Interview 101...or things NOT to say during an interview:

1) My mom was real happy I got this interview.

2) My mom thought I should become an accountant because she has done her own taxes before, so that is how I decided to become an accounting major.

3) (Delivered in a monotone, with absolutely no affectation whatsoever) My mom says my greatest strength is my outgoing personality.

4) My experience in customer service taught me how to deal with difficult people. Sometimes customers can be angry or unhappy, and I learned that the best thing to do is just hang up on them until they cool down.

Mmmm kaaaaaaaay. Thanks so much for taking the time to come by and speak with us today. We will be in touch.

Home

I am back from vacation. I have a post mentally prepared about it, that I will post sometime this week. It is full of snark and pictures, so prepare yourselves.

For today, I just wanted to remind everyone to go vote. No matter who you are voting for, make yourself heard. It is the only way the system works.

And no matter what happens today, each of us should remember that America may not be perfect, but it is still the greatest country in the world. And it will remain so, regardless of the outcome of this election.

Yay, America!

Random Ponderings

CO and I leave begin our vacation tomorrow, so posting will be nil this next week. Before I leave, I thought I'd jot down a few random thoughts.

1) My husband is awesome. Seriously. Now and then with the flow of one day after another and all of life's little messy details, well, it's not that I forget this fact, but it sometimes gets obscured...side-stepped...taken for granted.

But then CO will do something so completely wonderful that the day-to-day bullshit becomes obscured, and all I can see is the tremendous amount of awesome that is my CO. It is usually not some grand gesture, but some teeny-tiny little thing that just reminds me of who he is, and why I love him.

I am doing a bad job of explaining this, but I wanted to at least write it down for myself, so that I might never forget what a lucky girl I am.

2) Melvin, my beloved middle son, is waxing political lately. It is so odd to be having these adult conversations with him. I know he is a father, but sometimes in my mind he is still a boy.

But what is even more shocking than having the conversations, is the thread of them. His political views are vastly different from mine...and even more extreme than his father's (who's are also pretty different from mine). I truly appreciate him learning and growing and developing his own opinions. I think more people should educate themselves on the issues, rather than just doing what their parents did. But at the same time, it is bizarre to think I helped raise this child. How could I have had such little impact on him? Who is this...man? I am all at once proud of him, and confounded by him.

Yet another reason I will be glad when this election is over!

3) CO and I went to a Halloween party Saturday night. Pictures to come...maybe. Our costumes were hideous...frightening beyond all measure. The flat baby accompanied us, and spent the night with us all by herself for the first time. She slept between us, and cuddled her tiny little body right next to me all night. In the morning she rubbed her big brown eyes and greeted us with "Hi Papa. Hi Comma." It was the very best thing ever. I never knew Grand-parenthood would be so flippin' great. It makes every single thing we went through with those boys worth it.

4) I spent Sunday with my in-laws, and still I am grateful for their forgiveness. I shouldn't continue to harp on this subject, but I cannot help it. When I was last visiting my parents, my mom told me I wasn't a very forgiving person. She is right. Traditionally, I have not been very good at this. But I am trying to learn something from my in-laws...people I once thought were my cross to bear. I was wrong. I think they were a gift instead. They were meant to teach me to be a better person in this way. I hope this is a lesson I can learn.

5) Speaking of forgiveness, tonight I have a board meeting that will prove to be difficult. Several of the board members are calling for the executive director's resignation. I am pretty new to this board, and don't quite know what to think. The man has served as E.D. for 23 years. 23 years!! This year, he made a mistake...a BIG one. Really big. Huge. TWO mistakes, actually...mistakes that could potentially cost the organization its very existence, and more than one person their job.

But should these two mistakes negate 23 years of dedicated service?

I find myself thinking of my dad, who served his employer faithfully for 12 years, only to be hung out to dry after a single mistake (albeit one much less huge that the E.D. in question, but...). Now he is in what should be the twilight of his career, and he can't find employment. He has been off work for over 6 months, and my parents are in grave danger of losing what they worked a lifetime to achieve. Is this fair?

Am I confusing two completely unrelated issues? What IS the right answer?

Thanks for putting up with my pondering. If you have any insight, especially on issue number 5 here, please share. Otherwise, I'll see you next week...on election day, after what is hopefully a restful, and much needed vacation. I'm going to need it just to deal with election day!

And Under More News

...Melvin's girlfriend is pregnant. I am going to be a grandma for the third time.

While this isn't nearly as traumatic as the last time we found out Melvin's girlfriend was pregnant (many of you remember the "Flat Baby" story), there is still plenty to be upset about.

And plenty to be happy about as well.

I think this time, we will focus on the happy. It will make a nice change.

For the Love and Hate of October...Random Thoughts

October is the culmination of love and hate for me.

The first half is unfailingly busy, marking the official end of the 2007 tax filing season. Many people do no know that extended corporate returns are due September 15th, and extended partnership and individual returns are due October 15th. So while we breathe a huge sigh of relief in April...it isn't really over until October. And that October deadline hits hard...so I hate it.

But once October 15th passes, things at work calm way down, coming to an almost screeching halt. The second half of October is time for cleaning out desk drawers, reviewing and revamping…a nice break in an otherwise blistering pace. Of course October also means autumn, football, Halloween, the World Series and our annual camping weekend at the NHRA races in Las Vegas...all things I love.

Then too, in my neck of the woods, every thing is on fire in October, making the very air around you thick with smoke, ash and anxiety.

Unfortunately this year, we can add that the anxiety of an economic crisis and all things political. Politics in general make me feel stupid. I read things. I hear things. I discuss things. And I wonder how other people, people I know to be very intelligent, can come away from the same things feeling so vastly different. I assume it must be me. I am missing something here. So I read and I listen and I discuss, and still I end up scratching my head. I don't like feeling stupid. And this year in particular, well, I am really am starting to hate this election.

The extremists on both sides are creating a truly frightening turmoil...worse than I have ever seen. If one of these candidates does not get assassinated, it will be a miracle. You've got one side playing a dangerous card by calling a black man with a strange name a terrorist and playing on people's fears of things that are different. On the flip side, painting a successful woman as an airhead, and a bad parent to boot, simply because she is, in fact, a working mother is also incredibly unfair. No one would be questioning her parenting skills if she were a man with five children. Both sides can try to spin this however they like, but this smacks of 1960's racism and sexism to me.

I get these e-mails that are crazy, illogical and flat out wrong in their factuality. The sad thing is, millions of people are getting these e-mails, and believing them. Who is out there telling these people the truth, and letting them make a decision based on fact instead of fiction? I have nothing but respect for another person's opinion, provided that it is based in some kind of logical fact, and not "I think Sarah Palin is an idiot because she doesn't pronounce the 'g' on the end of an active verb," or "I think Obama must have accepted money from terrorists because he had no other way to pay for a Harvard education." Yeah, it's called an accent, and it doesn't make you stupid. None of my family in the Mid West pronounces the "g", and they are far from idiotic. Oh, and there exist too little things...one us smart kids called "scholarships," and another us poor kids called "student loans." If you were lucky enough to be smart and poor, like yours truly, you got some of both.

But no one hears these logical explanations. They only hear the radical ones...and they believe them. Logical explanations are too mundane. The extremism is much more glamorous. Each side is so damned concerned with winning, they could care less about the truth. So nobody wins. Least of all America...and I really hate that.

Land of the Free

I know I wasn't going to wax political on this blog, but I received two of the most obnoxious e-mails in the past week, and I just have to...HAVE TO rant about them. I cannot contain the rant.

Hence begins the first rant.

The first e-mail was one warning me that the Book of Revelations defines the anti-Christ as, in this individual's opinion, Obama. Now I am no fan of either candidate. That is the one political statement I am confident in making. I don't like either one of them. But the anti-Christ? Uhm, no. That is a bit much.

But that isn't even the good part of the e-mail. The e-mail goes on to say the following:

Dear friends, as I was listening to a news program last night, I watched in horror as Barack Obama made the statement with pride. . .'we are no longer a Christian nation; we are now a nation of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, . . . As with so many other statements I've heard him (and his wife) make, I never thought I'd see the day that I'd hear something like that from a presidential candidate in this nation. To think our forefathers fought and died for the right for our nation to be a Christian nation--and to have this man say with pride that we are no longer that.

First off, while we may be a predominantly Christian nation, there are many others in this country who do not adhere to Christianity. Obama's words did not make it so. It just is. If you didn't know that before, you need to crawl out from under that rock once in awhile.

But my favorite sentence..."To think our forefathers fought and died for the right for our nation to be a Christian nation."

Try reading a history book along with that Bible, Jack. Have you actually read the Bill of Rights? Do you know what it really says? Let me help you out here. The first amendment says:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The word Christianity is no where indicated in that statement. While yes, the founding fathers were predominantly Christian, they were not all Christian. Thomas Jefferson was a Deist, and a strong opponent of organized religion, having authored the following in a correspondence to John Adams:

The whole history of these books [The Gospels] is so defective and doubtful that it seems vain to attempt minute enquiry into it: and such tricks have been played with their text, and with the texts of other books relating to them, that we have a right, from that cause, to entertain much doubt what parts of them are genuine.

Likewise, George Washington, John Adams and Benjamin Franklin are credited with speeches and writings that opposed organized church doctrine.

My point is, it is no accident that the word Christianity does not appear in the first amendment. Our forefathers were not trying to create a Christian nation. In fact, they were fleeing a Christian nation...a nation that held to one Christian doctrine only, and did not allow for variant religious practices, even other forms of Christianity. They were strictly opposed to a national religion, and were trying to create a nation that allowed all individuals the right to practice, or not, as they saw fit.

The freedom of religion does not in any way equate to the freedom to practice Christianity only.

To believe it is shameful to say that we are a nation where all can practice freely, whether we are Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Wiccans, Buddhists, Deists or what have you, you are in the wrong country, Jack.

This is America...Land of the Free. That is what our forefathers fought and died for.

The Horrifying Stereotype Test

Your result for The Horrifying Stereotype Test...

Sports Dick

You Are What You Are

Why can't you understand that the accomplishments of your state's sports teams have absolutely nothing to do with you? No matter whether your favorite team wins or loses, you're still a loser.

Take The Horrifying Stereotype Test at HelloQuizzy

Hahahah! I assume it would do me no good to deny this.

VP Debate Drinking Game

Of course I am listening to this while I am at work, but if I were home and so inclined...the buzz word would be "maverick."

Phew! I'd be hammered!

Update

My grandson is doing MUCH better. He is out of the hospital, and on the mend. He had some sort of lung virus that apparently is common to premie babies, and it can be fatal if not treated. So thank goodness he has nervous new parents who rushed him right to the hospital where he needed to be.

Anyway...thanks so much for all your concern, prayers, and well wishes. My blog friends are awesome! I really appreciate you all!

Sick Baby

My posting will taper off this week while I try to juggle a big deadline at work, and my sick grandson.

Our new little baby is in the hospital, and they don't know what is wrong with him. The poor guy has been stuck in every place imaginable.

So those of you inclined to pray, please say one for our little guy. The rest of you just keep positive thoughts for him. I truly appreciate it...and all of you.

I DON'T Want to Talk About It!

I know what you're thinking, and I don't want to talk about it.

I love Trojan Football. And like anything you love, it has the ability to hurt you...deeply. Last night during the game, I developed actual hives on my forearm. I am not kidding. Today, I have a stomach ache. It isn't as bad as the one I had after this game, but still.

Then I have to come to work today and endure the torture of everyone in the freaking office parading by my door with their hideous cackles of laughter over my team's demise, and for my part, I have to smile and pretend I find this all very funny.

I don't.

To quote my college roommate, who called me at half-time last night, "This isn't fucking funny!"

No. It isn't.

But I can't say this at work, or I am labeled a bitch. And if I try to explain how these fringe haters don't understand, because they didn't go to USC, and thus could never possibly understand the level of intensity, devotion and emotional investment I have in this football team...well then I am labeled a crazy bitch.

Maybe I am. See I love Trojan football, but I do not like it. I have completely lost the joy in victory...for it is expected, but the agony of defeat...that one I totally get. While I still love Pete Carroll, I am very disappointed in him. Did this team learn nothing two years ago when OSU did this very same thing to them? Seriously? NOTHING?

I think I have developed an ulcer. I need to lie down.

Living the Life

CO and I spent our weekend at a car show. Not unusual or noteworthy in and of itself, but then, a car pulls up near us, and that is where the story begins.

It was a white, 1980's kit car of some sort (I am not the car aficionado, and I don't recall CO saying anything but "kit car" when asked what it was). Anyway, there were no doors. The roof lifts up in some weird spaceshippy way to allow access in and out of the car. So up goes the roof, and this guy steps out.

He had a full blown mullet, adorned with a black and white checkered bandanna around his forehead. He wore a single long earring, a muscle shirt with a faded band logo on it, and acid-washed jeans. He had leather driving gloves with the fingers cut out on his hands, and a leather wrist band with silver spikes. He wore black high top tennis shoes of some sort...not Converse, but something I have not seen on feet since high school, that I am sure they don't make any more. The kind with padding around the ankles for comfort.

The car seats were covered in balck and white leopard print fabric, and there was a matching steering wheel cover.

I could kick myself for not taking pictures. You really had to see it to appreciate it. I was too mesmerized by the scene to even reach for the camera. Besides, I was too busy straining to hear if the Miami Vice Theme was issuing from the car, a la The Wedding Singer. It wasn't, but it really should have been. It would have made the moment perfect.

The sad thing was, I got the distinct impression that this was not a costume, but a lifestyle. There was the mullet, you see. I mean you can't just grow a mullet for a weekend. It has to be planned in advance...with intent and purpose.

Soon...too soon really, for I was not done giggling, the dude gets back in his car, and pulls back onto the cruise route, cutting off another car, and about taking him out in the process. The roof lifts up just a tiny bit, and I see the guy's passenger, presumably his wife, holding up a sign facing backwards to the car they just rudely cut off, reading "Let Me In." She then flips it over so that it reads "Thanks," and they zoom off.

Me: "If you start dressing like that, I am not coming to any more car shows. And I am certainly not holding up signs that say 'Let Me In' and 'Thanks.' There is supporting your spouse and then..."

CO: "...and then there is enabling your spouse."

Me: "Exactly."

Rest in Peace, Brave Girl

A tribute to an acquaintance of mine who lost her long battle with MS this week. Her name was Kristi, and she was only 38 years old.

Two months ago she made the agonizing decision to discontinue treatment for an infection that had raged through her body for over a year...a decision made all the more agonizing by the fact of her 13 year old daughter.

Still, in the end, she did it for her daughter, even more than herself, I think. Her own parents were raising her daughter anyway, and while living without your mother at that tender age is difficult, visiting her in a long-term care facility, watching her suffer, waiting for her to die is much more so.

I am thankful that Kristi's long, painful struggle is over, and I am glad it is over for those who loved her as well. Rest in peace, brave girl.

Embracing Your Inner Exhibitionist

Okay, I have a very important survey to conduct here. It is hugely important, and potentially life-altering. Ready? Ladies...panties under the pantyhose, or are you commando under there?

The reason I am asking? Well, uhm, earlier today, I visited the ladies' room, and my panties broke. They broke! The strap on the right side just snapped like a dry little twig. I spent a few minutes trying to figure out how to make them work without the strap, but in the end I had to, uhm, remove them, and throw them in the trash can, buried under several layers of paper towels that I threw in there to hide them. Why I felt the need to do this, I do not know. I didn't want anyone looking in the trash and wondering, I guess. I mean, I would wonder if I looked in the trash can at work and saw some one's panties. Wouldn't you?

Anyway, I still have the pantyhose, thank God, and they had the little cotton thingy which indicates you can choose to wear them without the panties underneath, but this isn't something I commonly do, and I gotta say...I feel creepy.

This is almost as bad as...oh, I was searching for a link to an old blog I wrote, but it must have been posted on the former blog site. I guess one day soon I will have to recreate my most embarrassing blunders for your amusement. For those of you who read the old blog, and read that post...yeah, almost as creepy as that time.

So does anyone out there skip the panties as a general practice? Like you're going to admit it now, right? No, seriously, I suppose I could see the benefits...less laundry, no visible pantylines, and it is somewhat cooler (temperature-wise). But how do you get past the exposed feeling?

Or maybe you like that exposed feeling? Is that it? Do I have to embrace my inner exhibitionist? Do I have to welcome this as my own private dirty secret? What?

Help me here, people! Clearly, I need it. I am not well. I am not well at all.

The Soundtrack of My Life - Track 23

December 1963 (Oh What a Night) - The Four Seasons
Strictly from a song standpoint, this song is not even my favorite by the Four Seasons...that would be Let's Hang On. So how then, did it end up on my 101 list, while the later did not?

Four twenty-something friends, Amy, Lindy, Lori and yours truly, having a girls night in sans boyfriends, with plenty of alcohol to go around, playing a game called Songburst...a board game predecessor to Don't forget the Lyrics. The very nature of the game dictated that plenty of songs were sung that night, but this is the one that sticks in my head.

"As I remember, what a night."

I wonder where those girls are today? We were one time coworkers, confidantes, comrades, but eventually we all fell in love, got married, changed jobs, had babies, moved on...and sadly, lost touch.

These were great girls with whom to share those precious years when, unlike the lean college years, we had a little more money, if a little more responsibility. We worked hard, but still, we had fun! Concerts, parties, happy hours, fancy dinners, weekend adventures.

Some people never get that time in their life...they start a family too soon, or a career too late. I am so lucky to have had the opportunities I had. And lucky, too, to have shared it with these girls.

Monday Morning Sports Report

This time of year, my weekends are primarily spent in front of the big screen watching sports. Mostly football, with some baseball and NHRA thrown in for good measure. I know to many people, this is a waste of precious life. To me, this is life. In my family, the years are measured not in A.D., but in their relation to our various teams' performances. For example, "That was the year the Broncos won their first Superbowl" or "The year that USC won the National Championship." Of course there are other years too...the one's that we speak of only in hushed tones while shaking our heads in dispair, but we try not to speak of those too often.

Whenever anyone asks me what my dream job would be, my answer is always the same...I would be a sports journalist. I don't know that I'd be very good at it, but that wasn't the question was it? Imagine traveling around and watching sports for a living! Bliss, I tell you!

But I'm not a sports journalist, so I have to play one on my blog. Here are some thoughts I had this week:

1) First, my beloved Trojans...they are teh awesome. There is just nothing else to say, except, I love Pete Carroll. The man is off the hook. In his tenure at USC, his teams have a +104 in turnovers, and that is just one of many fine statistics his teams possess. I seriously love him. Seriously.

2) Ohio State...you have once again been exposed for what you are, or more accurately, for what you are not. Can the OSU fans please, please, please shut it already? You're done. It's over. You are not as good as you think you are. Just shut it!

3) New England fans...yes, Tom Brady is hurt. Yes, this is a bummer for you, but it is not a national tragedy. No, it was not a dirty hit. This is football, not chess. People get hurt. It happens. That doesn't make it rife with intent. So let's banish these conspiracy theories to the political realm where they belong.

4) Tony Schumacher...so sick of him. Seriously SICK of him. Furthermore, I cannot believe this guy can be so much better than everyone else in his class all the friggin' time without some, uhm, artificial assistance. Something is amiss. I call shenanigans! By the way this conspiracy theory is okay. Sports fans are nothing if not hypocritical.

5) UCLA...well, yes they suck. I am an SC fan, so that is just a fact of life IMHO. However, do they suck that bad...59 to 0 bad? Or did the traitor Norm Chow have anything to do with making sure his beloved BYU stays strong in the rankings? Just a thought. I don't really care either way. UCLA will still suck, and Norm Chow will still be a traitor no matter what.

6) Okay, I have mentioned I am a Denver Bronco fan...so I obviously must address The Call. Or I guess I should say the calls plural. Yes, they were terrible calls...result-making, game-changing calls. I will not dispute that. It happened. It sucks for you Charger fans out there. It really does. I even honestly feel kind of bad for you. I do! However, might I suggest that this was just a case of bad karma coming to call on Phillip Rivers after his abhorrent display of poor sportsmanship against Jay Cutler last year, and nothing more?

And for the record, I also agree that the NFL needs to hold the refs to a higher level of accountability for these types of errors. But the San Diego player who spoke out saying something like "When we fuck up, we get fired" uhm, no you don't. Players drop passes, throw interceptions and miss tackles all the flippin' time. You don't get fired! Let's dial down the drama just a tad, shall we? You have a right to be upset, but not irrational. Only I get to be irrational. Do you see how this works?

7) Speaking of the Broncos...does Mike Shanahan have big ol' brass ones or what? I loved that call for the two-point conversion! I would have loved it even if they had missed it. This is what sports are all about...no guts, no glory!

Nutty Goodness

You Are A Peanut

You are popular, even with people who tend to have picky taste. Kids love you, as do dogs. From rednecks to snobs, most people have a place for you in their hearts. As popular as you are, there are some people who can't be near you. Don't take it too personally. There's just a few people you rub the wrong way.

What Nut Are You?

Actually, that sounds fairly accurate. Especially the "there are just some people who can't be near you" part.

I do love me some peanut butter. Does that make me a cannibal?

Remembering

I missed posting yesterday due to a deadline at work, but at no part of the day, was the day itself far from my thoughts. Seven years ago, and yet so vivid, so sharp in memory. The pain just beneath the surface.

A employee of the firm said yesterday that he didn't get what the big deal was. He really didn't care about September 11th when it happened, much less seven years later, and he thought the whole thing was overblown.

Rarely have I been so shocked and horrified. I have lost any respect I once had for this individual. What kind of a person could possibly feel this way?

I have no words.

In My Next Life

Your result for Reincarnation Placement Exam...

Gypsy Camp

57% Intrigue, 39% Civilization, 62% Humanity, 50% Crowded, 21% Busy.

You sing! You dance! You flee from the authorities!

You were a bit difficult to place, because you like civilization and humanity -- but when it comes to work, you don't really fit into the system, the ruts and the rituals, that modern civilization embraces. You like your own ways... your old ways.

We've placed you among a hardy Gypsy family. They'll have you plucking a violin before you can talk, and dancing before you can walk. The road is your home, and your horses are members of your family. You get to wear lots of shiny things.

We expect that you'll have a good life. Even if your people are surrounded by a world where they don't really fit in, they have each other, an oasis of compatibility in an unbalanced world. We know you'll make the most of it!

Take Reincarnation Placement Exam at HelloQuizzy

Thanks to Chalice Chick and Joel for the link.

Blogs and Politics

I'm having such a hard time with all this election and political stuff. First off because I truly dislike both candidates. Second, because the whack-jobs on both sides of the aisle are just obnoxious and out of line. Third, because I am reading my favorite bloggers, and I am reminded that while I adore their life stories, their humor, their insights on family, work, American Idol...the important things in life, we are very far apart politically. It makes me fear losing those connections should I dare to comment or to post a political thought of my own.

From here on out, I am going to try and stay away from political blogging in general...try not to either read or write them.

But before that self-imposed ban, I will say that I think both of the V.P. candidates are much more fabulous than the Presidential candidates themselves. Although Palin is way too "Christian Right" for me personally, I admire her as a successful woman, and while I don't care for career politicians in general, I love that Biden has refused to comment on Palin's family (so far anyway), and has called out his own supporters for questioning her ability to be V.P. while taking care of her children by saying, like all the other working mothers in America, she can handle it.

I wish, just once, a politician would stand up and refuse to mud-sling. To just say why he or she is a good candidate for the job, based on their own experience and values, and not feel the need to degrade their opponent in the process. I would have so much more respect for the lot of them. Sadly, it seems this may never be possible.

That is all I have to say on the whole political thing. I will try to keep my own counsel from here on out, and in the process, keep my blog buddies. If we can't respect one another's differences, and right to varied points of view, I guess that won't happen.

Of course, if we can't respect one another, the buddies aren't worth having in the first place.

T.G.I.F.

I know it's not Friday, Silly! That isn't what TGIF means...not to me...not in September.

T.G.I.F. Thank God it's Football! Football! Glorious football! It was a long, cold, lonely off-season, and I have missed you so.

And right out of the gates, I get a delicious surprise. After week 1 in college football, both the AP and Coach's polls read as follows:

1) USC
2) Georgia
3) Ohio State
4) Oklahoma
5) Florida

USC jumped 2 spots from their 3rd spot in the preseason poll. The explanatory article, USC’s reward: Top spot in Top 25, goes on to say:

“There’s a bit of a growing backlash for the amount of teams that open with I-AA cupcakes,” said Mandel. “To see a team (USC) go on the road and play a New Year’s Day bowl team from last season, and not only play them but destroy them, how could you not reward that team?”

Amen, Brutha! Oh, and this quote from Pete Carol:

“We realize that rankings so early in a season are certainly fluid. But rankings do help establish a pecking order for things later in the season...As for moving into the No. 1 spot, it’s nice to know that people think highly of our team.”

I must say right now, I love Pete Carroll. I love him with a devotion seldom known. He is never pompous, never braggy, never obnoxious. He always compliments his players, and the other teams' players and coaches. He is 100% class 100% of the time.

If I were to ever have more kids, I would name them all Pete Carroll. In fact, if we weren't both happily married, I'd have his kids and name them all Pete Carroll. This is how much I love me some Pete Carroll.

So T.G.I.F. and while you're at it, thank God for Pete Carroll.

The Soundtrack of My Life - Tracks 21 - 22

I haven't done a music entry in awhile, and I've been thinking about the power of music lately. I thought I'd combine all of these thoughts with a selection from my 101 Songs List.

I was reading a novel in which the author said something about music and smells being the strongest memory triggers.

I think this is true. When I was driving home from my conference little over a week ago, I was listening to my iPod, and several songs evoked strong memories of people or places. I felt transported back in time for a few moments. Nothing like a long drive alone to ponder and reflect.

So my selection today is based upon that premise. I have picked the two songs on my 101 list that most remind me of my first love, whom I briefly mentioned in association with another song, but these are the two that really bring him to mind:

Living in Sin (Bon Jovi)
It was the late 80's. I loved Bon Jovi. Then this song came out, and my roommate told me it reminded her of me and R. I remember thinking she was so right on.

Now before I reminisce too much, let me say that I love my CO very, very much, and would never change a thing. But the past is what it is, and all roads not taken led to CO. This is just one of those roads. Still, I try to look back fondly on those roads, those days, those people, of which R is one.

I met R my first day of college, and we proceeded very quickly into a relationship that would span more than two years. He was born in Mexico and immigrated here with his family when he was a little boy. The inter-racial/cultural thing lent a forbidden fruit quality to the relationship that I think we both embraced. For the first time in my life, I felt like a rebel, and that just turned up the heat on my raging teenage hormones, which when combined with the excitement of being away at college, and falling in love for the first time, was a powerful cocktail.

"Now there's a million questions
I could ask about our lives
But I only need one answer
To get me through the night"

Love Bites (Def Leppard)
It was still the late 80's, and I loved Def Leppard. Then he broke my heart, I found out that love CAN bite.

Still, he wasn't a bad guy. He just saw what I refused to see...we loved each other, but in the end, it wouldn't last forever. We were very different people, who came from very different places. His mother spoke no English, and I spoke no Spanish. Neither one of us had lived enough to be sure of something that would be so difficult. He was so right. When I try to picture what my life would be if I had stayed with him, I cannot get a clear picture. All I know is it would be very different from the life I have now.

"I don't wanna touch you too much baby, 'cause making love to you might drive me crazy.

I know you think that love is the way you make it, so I don't wanna be there when you decide to break it.

Love bites, love bleeds...It's bringin' me to my knees

Love lives, love dies...It's no surprise

Love begs, love pleads...It's what I need"

There are a few other songs, not on the 101 list that make me think of R. Most notably Genesis' Throwing It All Away. I was so sure he was going to be sorry some day...that he would never find another girl like me. Don't we all think that? In the end, that was probably true, but I doubt it turned out to be a bad thing.

So here's to R! Thanks. I hope you are happy with your life...where ever you are.

More on B-O-O-B Gawking

In my last post, I wrote about being annoyed by Mr. B-o-o-b Gawker. My blog friend, Joel, offered a plausible explanation in the comments section regarding genetic wiring and height differentials. It is important to note that Joel also said this is an impulse men should keep under control, so he wasn't condoning the practice, just explaining it.

Of course this is an excellent explanation, and one to which I can mostly subscribe.

Let's face it, even women look at other women's breasts. At least I do. Sometimes, you just can't miss them. Some women put them on display such that it is impossible to miss them. All that is missing are spotlights and a turntable. I may have even fallen into this category myself once or twice.

The difference, of course, is that when a woman notices another woman, it is usually just because the other pair is noteworthy, and very little fascination is involved. We can simply glance, then look away. We women have our very own set. No need to get too invested in someone else's.

Whereas men...well it is different. I get that. I do understand some level of curiosity from men. And some level of looking is probably acceptable to most women. Something between a glance and a glimpse. Even a series of a few covert peeks or fleeting looks. (Ladies...opinions?)

I cannot speak for all women, but this is something I can live with. I can maybe even muster up some vague feelings of flattery...although not much, because you guys will look at anything. Seriously. You will.

But what my last post was talking about, and what I cannot abide is the gawker. This is the man who just flat out stares. Nothing covert. Nothing secretive. Just full on gaping.

And it would even be different if I was in display mode...If you're going to put the goodies on display, they are going to get seen, no two ways about it. But this was a professional conference, and I was appropriately covered. What made it worse, is that we were in a crowd of people waiting to get into a closed conference room. We stood in very close proximity for like five minutes, and I couldn't move, because there were too many people pressed around us. But still the man just stared. I was very uncomfortable. I wanted to slap him. If I had had water, I might have thrown it at him.

In this case the height differential Joel spoke of was reversed...at 5'10'' I am as tall as your average man, and this particular man was slightly shorter. Maybe that made it even worse. I don't know.

So men, my point is, go ahead and glance. Feel free. It is in your nature, and I understand. Whatever. Just don't GAWK. It's obnoxious, and it makes us feel icky. So don't do it!

People Suck

My week at a continuing education seminar last week reminded me of something I sometimes forget...I don't like people.

Oh, I like individual persons just fine, but people as a whole, not so much. People en mass are rude and obnoxious and annoying. You know what I'm talking about.

For example, there is the diagonal street crosser. You're driving around the parking lot, looking for an empty spot, and you have to wait for someone to cross the street. But do they go straight across quickly, allowing you to pass in the least possible amount of time? Oh no, they cross in a long diagonal, taking as much space and time as humanly possible. Who cares about anyone else's time...it's all about them, isn't it?

Another example is the crowd pusher. You know the one. You're all standing around, waiting for the conference room to open so you can go in and get a seat...hundreds of you, waiting for the same thing. Or maybe there are fifty people waiting to board a plane. Whatever. Then along comes the crowd pusher...the person who insists on pushing their way to the front of the crowd, as if they alone are waiting, and their mere presence will get things rolling. The rest of the crowd is apparently standing around because they have nothing better to do, but the crowd pusher, they are busy. They need to get the show on the road. To hell with everyone else.

There are also the talker/knuckle cracker/nail clipper/disgusting nasal sound/cell phone answerers. These are the folks who make themselves heard during a formal presentation. Someone poor schlep is standing before a group of people, presenting information that may be valuable to those listening, when a group of talkers burst out in barely quieted conversation. We are not talking whispers here, we are talking normal speaking voices.

Or, as an alternative, they sit and crack their knuckles repeatedly, or take the opportunity to clip their fingernails. It always seems to go on forever, leaving me wondering exactly what kind of mutant is sitting in the audience. How many digits does this freak show actually have, because I have counted up to 37 clips already?

Or perhaps they decide to answer their loudly ringing cell phone with a full and boisterous "Hello? Oh, nothing...what are you doing?"

Or maybe they have that annoying and grotesque personal habit of clearing their phlegm filled throat or snorting their nasal mucus every 45 seconds. I try so hard to ignore it, because on some level, I know they cannot help it, but it's like trying to fall asleep when something is dripping or a dog is barking. You hope you won't hear the sound again, but you find you whole body is tensed up waiting for it...you can't focus on anything else, and just as you start to relax, and believe it is over, there is that sound again.

Not to be left out, there is Mr. Boob Gawker. Ladies, you are familiar with this man. This is the older man standing next to you in the crowd, sometimes with his wife standing right next to him, who cannot stop staring at your boobs. And what is a person supposed to do about this, I ask you? Do you stare him down? It won't matter! He will never notice, because he isn't looking at your face to see that you are staring him down in the first place.

So you see what I mean. Persons are fine, but people...people are horrible, inconsiderate assholes! It makes me want to hole up in my house and never venture out again. People suck!

Where Will It End?

I keep asking myself this question.

As you may remember, a year ago, CO and I were considering relocating to the Midwest, but with the real estate market being what it is, we were afraid to take the chance...afraid we wouldn't be able to sell our current residence.

A year later, there seems to be no end to the drop in housing prices, making me grateful we made the choice we did, but terrified that we will be working under the burden of an upside down mortgage for many, many years to come.

At least we have jobs...for now. CO and I attended an Independence Day party back in July, and of the six couples there, we were the only pair that were not either currently unemployed, recently unemployed or excepting to become unemployed at any moment. We left feeling grateful, but nervous. My parents are both still unemployed...my mother since October of 2007 and my father since February of 2008. And now I read that massive post-Labor Day job cuts are anticipated across the country.

I am on the board of a local charitable organization that provides relief, in the form of respite care and counseling, to the at home caregivers of Alzheimer's patients. Since the organization is primarily state funded, they are receiving no money until the state passes its fiscal year budget, which is way past due, and some speculate it may not be passed until after the November elections. As a result, most of the organizations employees will be laid off, and all programs will be suspended until something changes.

On my daily news clips report from a professional organization I am involved with, I see that in addition to the aforementioned post-Labor Day job cuts, unemployment in a nearby county is at its higest rate in 13 years; Southwest Airlines, like all those before it, are cutting at least 6% of their flights and raising prices due to high fuel costs and poor economic performance; the Federal Reserve is planning to raise interest rates; two more banks are waving the white flag, while the rest face new credit hurdles; and that cities across the nation are running out of money.

Everywhere I look people are losing their jobs, their homes, their businesses.

There is no good news anywhere, it seems.

I am left wondering, how much further is rock bottom? Are we close, or can we not even see it yet? Where will it end?

Freaky Blog Ghosts and More Work Trips

Okay. Seriously. I am a little freaked out right now.

The post below this one...the one of my granddaughter singing Happy Birthday...I didn't post it.

I DID NOT POST IT!

I tried to post that post like the day after my birthday...July 21st, but I kept getting an error message, so I gave up. Now today it mysteriously shows up. Three weeks later. Out of the blue.

Do do do do. Do do do do.

That is supposed to be the Twilight Zone theme by the way.

Now that I'm thoroughly freaked by the ghosts that have possessed my blog, I am kind of happy to announce I will be out of town for work for the next week.

I shudder to think what I will have posted when I return.

Duhn duhn duhn.

That is supposed to be a suspenseful mystery beat a' la Law and Order or CSI. I don't know where I heard it, I just always associate it with mystery.

Okay, so maybe sound effects don't translate. Whatever! Jeez! Hopefully the ghosts can do a better job while I'm away.

The post is coming from inside the blog. Get out now!

See you on the other side, peeps.

Happy Birthday to Comma

Here is my song.

Of course, she is so interested in seeing herself on the video, she can hardly concentrate, but you'll get the jist of it!

Hoo Ha ha ha ha ha!

We are sitting in the hospital cafeteria the other night. Waiting. Then waiting some more. My son, Orin, looks up at a man passing by and says, "There is our doctor. Doctor Hoo Ha."

I stare, disbelieving and ask, "What is his name?"

"Doctor Hoo Ha."

"Doctor Hoo Ha?" I ask, and he nods his head. "Let me get this straight. Doctor Hoo Ha is your OBGyn?" Again he nods, and I burst out laughing.

The jokes just write themselves.

I could never have an OBGyn named Doctor Hoo Ha. I couldn't possibly stop laughing long enough to allow him to do his examination. I just couldn't.

Turns out, the good doctor's name is spelled Guhua, but is pronounced Hoo Ha. Even so, the man was clearly destined to be an OBGyn. It is just beautiful in it's symmetry. Just freakin' beautiful!

A Grand Entrance

Our grandson arrived this morning at 7:07 am, weighing in at 8 pounds 3 ounces. After an emergency C-Section, mom and baby are resting comfortably.

He kept his mother contracting from Saturday night through Tuesday morning, then refused to come out. Stubborn and feisty...his father's son.

Other than having their days and nights mixed up now, grandma and grandpa are thrilled!

You Want Some Cheese With That Whine?

That sour grapes whine you're drinking?

Sounds like sour grapes to me, anyway. Here is the article:

Spitz, once the star, upset over Beijing snub
by Polly Hui

US swim legend Mark Spitz won't be on hand in Beijing if Michael Phelps breaks his record of seven gold medals at a single Olympics—because, he says, no one bothered to invite him.

Spitz said the International Olympic Committee, a US television network or FINA—the international body that governs world swimming—should have brought him to the Games this year, with Phelps making a go at his record.

"I never got invited. You don't go to the Olympics just to say, I am going to go. Especially because of who I am," Spitz told AFP in Hong Kong.

"I am going to sit there and watch Michael Phelps break my record
anonymously? That's almost demeaning to me. It is not almost—it is."

Spitz became one of the most famous athletes in the world at the 1972
Munich Olympics, winning seven gold medals—with seven world records—in what many consider to be one of the greatest achievements in all of sport.

Phelps is aiming to better that mark in Beijing, hoping to bring home eight golds. And Spitz, now 58 and grey and without his trademark moustache, cannot understand why he wasn't asked along to see the show.

"They voted me one of the top five Olympians in all time. Some of them are dead. But they invited the other ones to go to the Olympics, but not me," he said. "Yes, I am a bit upset about it."

Now a stockbroker and motivational speaker, Spitz also thinks he could have won eight golds himself in Munich if only he had had the chance.

"I won seven events. If they had the 50m freestyle back then, which they do now, I probably would have won that too," he said.

Spitz, whose brief stint in show business in the 1970s never quite matched his success in the pool, said he attended the Athens Olympics four years ago—when Phelps also tried to break the record.

"They did not once put my face on television," he recalled. "But as soon as the swimming was over, and Michael Phelps didn't break my record, every time I went to beach volley, they put my face on the volleyballs."

Spitz said it would have been a great idea if he could be the one presenting the gold medals to Phelps, who has for years been candid about his ambition to eclipse the mark of seven golds.

And Spitz thinks Phelps will succeed—for one very good reason.

"He's almost identical to me. He's a world-record holder in all these events, so he is dominating the events just like I did," Spitz said. "He reminds me of myself."

This is very disappointing, because I used to really admire the guy. Now my admiration will be limited to his swimming prowess...not to him in general.

Look, maybe he felt he should have been invited, but I can see where this would be a touchy subject for the organizations he called out. Not everyone would be excited about their legendary accomplishment being eclipsed, and if Spitz was one of those people, he would be in an awkward position if he had been formally invited, and didn't want to go. Perhaps to spare him this awkwardness, they didn't formally invite him, figuring if he wanted to go, surely he would let it be known, or assuming that maybe he would just show up on his own. I assume he can figure out how to get to Beijing on his own.

Oh, wait, I forgot.

"You don't go to the Olympics just to say, I am going to go. Especially because of who I am,"

Excuse me, your highness? Because of who you are? Is that off-putting to anyone else?

Dude, millions of people go to the Olympics just to say they are going to go, but obviously they are just regular folks. God forbid you should be associated with the regular folks.

And yes, it would have been a nice touch if "Spitz...could be the one presenting the gold medals to Phelps," but could you imagine asking him to? I can't imagine anyone would ever cross that line. If Spitz was so selfless that he wanted to do that, he should have been the one to bring it up. It wouldn't have been proper for anyone else to ask him to do it.

And he goes on to complain about his face not being on television enough. Uhm, egotistical much? This isn't as much about you as you seem to think, Dude.

But my favorite part..."I won seven events. If they had the 50m freestyle back then, which they do now, I probably would have won that too. He's almost identical to me. He's a world-record holder in all these events, so he is dominating the events just like I did. He reminds me of myself."

I see. Well let's hope he's not entirely like you. Let's hope that if he succeeds, and lives to see someone eventually surpass him, that Michael Phelps demonstrates some class and sportsmanship, instead of hurt feelings and whinniness. Let's hope he can man up and concede that someone bested him without all the pouting "poor me" bullshit. After all, isn't that the whole point of being an athlete? To be better, faster, stronger than those who came before you? To try and be the best? Shouldn't Mark Spitz, of all people, know this?

Guess not.

And this guy is a motivational speaker?

Well I guess he did motivate me...to cheer for Michael Phelps even harder than I had already planned to.

How Hard Can It Be?

Olympic Gymnastics, that is.

Oh I know these are highly trained athletes who sacrifice all manner of traditional childhoods, family time, friends, etc., to become Olympians. Yes, I know this.

But my 2 and a half year old granddaughter, does not yet understand it.

Upon seeing the first U.S. Gymnast perform her floor exercise yesterday, the Puddin' Pop immediately flung herself on the floor and attempted to match the world class athlete's perfomance.

Of course she didn't quite succeed, but it made for some funny video. And of course, she is gold in our minds!

I'm Back

I have returned from my vacation...a trip to visit family in the mid-west. I had a great visit with everyone, drank too much, ate too much, shopped too much, and laughed...well, you can never really laugh too much, can you? Anyway, it was lovely. Even the weather cooperated, and we only had one really disgustingly humid, hot day.

Unfortunately, I had to come back to work. I had left three specific projects to one of my staff to complete while I was gone. Two of these were one shot deals...things that needed to be taken care of at a meeting I missed. I returned to find that none of the three projects had been properly completed. My staff "forgot."

He forgot.

I likely won't.

Anyway...I'm back.

I feel like it's been years since I've had anything meaningful to say here. Maybe one of these days I will feel inspired to write a blog that is more than an update or an announcement or an apology. We'll see.

Vacation

I didn't get much blogging in between my client visit and my vacation. Sorry 'bout that, but I'm sure y'all aren't losing sleep over it or anything.

Even if you are, I'm STILL going on vacation. Sorry. It's not that I don't care...I just NEED a vacation.

So I'm off. I'll be back next Thursday. Happy times, everyone!

I'm Back

Yeah...it took longer than I thought, but I am back.

And I am older than when I last posted. Lucky me. But it IS better than the alternative, so I shan't complain. Besides, my granddaughter performed her very own original composition of "Happy Burssday to My Comma," and what could be a better present than that, I ask you?

Also while I was away, some spammer got hold of my work e-mail address, so I returned to the office after a week and a half to seven hundred and some odd e-mails. Oh, and they were odd. I won a free washer and dryer, had 11 people searching for me at some reunion website, could find my "soul mate," or get good drugs for myself and for my pet for less than I am paying now, found the solution to weight loss, nicotine addiction and alcoholism, not to mention the perfect job, and I can get my accounting degree on-line. Who knew!

I did try to catch up on my fellow bloggers today, and some of you have been going through some difficult stuff. My heart goes out to you. Also to my cousin L, who has been caught up in the wheels of something that isn't her fault, and has nothing to do with her, I am sorry it has come to this. People will stoop to anything to take themselves out of the spotlight.

That's all for now. I am trying to get caught up from my office absence, so I can have another...a vacation this time. Woo Hoo!